I Am A Klutz

Today I was at an event where I might have fallen a tiny bit. I must say I am not completely unfamiliar with the room because I was in that same room in 1989 or so at a friend's wedding. So I must have memorized the entire room layout then (although I know alcohol was involved at the wedding).But things might have gotten a little hazy since.

But my question is who carpets an entire room with the same carpet on everything except the dance floor? By the carpets rest of the room I mean stairs that go across the full length of the room and the DJ/band riser at the end of the space. In a dark blue carpet which shows no contours in any light. With no reflective tape or anything.

So I walked across the room, missing the riser. Then I walked back across the room to return and discovered the riser for the third time today. I might have caught a little air in this event. I did not do major damage to my body. I did land on my right knee and right thumb. I have a tiny scrape on my knee.

When I did take this tiny tumble, a couple of people asked me if I was okay. I said I needed a minute and tried not to cry in front of a crowd of strangers. But then I sat there. Then I finally stood up. And was really about to cry (stiff upper lip be damned).

But I made it home. I got in bed with a heating pad for my back and an ice pack for my knee. Three hours of bad TV later, I am feeling better and my husband is about to serve a nice home made dinner.

But I am still a klutz and will pay for this tomorrow.

PS by posting about stupid stuff, I can avoid some of the other issues in my life for a while

Avoiding pinkness

In an effort to avoid pinkification (and take a break from blogging), I ran away and joined the circus. No, actually my husband's family had a big family reunion on the coast of Oregon - a place we had never been. It was a lot of fun and a nice get away to avoid over pinkification. I didn't mean to take a break from blogging but I had some technical issues as well.

It worked in the sense that we were off line and avoiding pink. But it was not without its ups and downs.

First I was very efficient and packed two empty reusable water bottles. And I left the better one one the plane. Second, I left the one of a kind charger for my tablet in the hotel in Portland where we were spending the first and last nights. By the end of our second day, my feet were hurting from RA so much I had to stay off them more for the rest of the trip. And our spare water bottle appeared to have sprung a leak.

It was a great time catching up with relatives and enjoying the Oregon coast. We even saw seals, sea lions, and whales. We did not see many signs of pink. To be fair we were in a small town and avoided the areas with chain stores. It was only when we ventured near them, were we assaulted by pink. Then on our last night, Sunday, we watched the Patriots destroy the Chiefs while wearing pink gloves, pink shoes, pink socks, pink towels, pink ribbons on their helmets, etc. I am not sure if the pink weakened the Chiefs but we were happy to see the Patriots win.

While watching the game, my husband suggested that instead of manufacturing all that pink crap (particularly if in some factory overseas), that all NFL players should donate 1 day's pay to breast cancer research instead. 32 teams times 53 players = 1696. Average salary is $1.9 million or a total of $3,222,400,000. So one hour's salary would be $368,864 or a day's salary would be $8,852,747. A tidy sum indeed. Why don't they just donate that directly and we can skip all that pink?

But I digress. We did successfully avoid pink by avoiding chain stores and chain restaurants. We also didn't watch a lot of television.

The views were from our windows at the Elizabeth Street Inn, Newport, OR. It was peaceful and relaxing.

Risk factors????

Now what the hell am I supposed to do? Look at the length of this list of risk factors for breast cancer!!!!!!!!!

These are the established risks: Being female, age, family history, genetics, personal history of breast cancer,  radiation to chest/face before age 30, certain breast changes, race/ethnicity, being overweight, pregnancy history, breast feeding, menstrual history, using HRT, drinking alcohol, having dense breasts, lack of exercise, and smoking.

Then there are the emerging risks that they are just starting to realize their importance.... (Or but wait, there's more!): Low Vitamin D Levels, Light Exposure at Night, DES (Diethylstilbestrol) Exposure, Eating Unhealthy Food, Exposure to Chemicals in Cosmetics, Exposure to Chemicals in Food, Exposure to Chemicals for Lawns and Gardens, Exposure to Chemicals in Plastic, Exposure to Chemicals in Sunscreen, Exposure to Chemicals in Water, and/or Exposure to Chemicals When Food Is Grilled/Prepared. 

How the hell am I supposed to avoid them? That's it. I am moving to live under a rock!

A day to myself

Even though I work part time, I seldom have days to myself. I usually am running all over with volunteer work, errands, doctors appointments and whatever. I did stay home on Wednesday this week but that doesn't count. There was a blizzard and I couldn't go anywhere. And my husband was home so I spent time with  him. Not that there is anything wrong with spending time with him but it wasn't a day to myself.

Today I dropped my husband off at work because the car is being worked on. Now I am up early and have time to do the things aI want. I will go to the gym on my own schedule. I will deal with the garage and the car repair and I will pick up my husband later. But for most of the day I am here, by  myself - well with the cat - to do what I want.

Next week I believe I have three days with doctor appointments. And I have to get to work four days because of the blizzard day this week. I am not looking forward to next week.


But that is next week and I'll stick with this week first. I will enjoy reading the paper with my feet up and sipping tea. And focus on me for the day. Although I am really in avoidance of next week.

Avoidance mode

Yesterday at work was the monthly sales meeting day which means it was chaotic from time to time. I was feeling relatively antisocial for some reason. I couldn't decide why. Then I realized its because of my stupid medical appointments tomorrow which are putting me in avoidance mode.

Nothing like one bad mammogram to make you dread them for the rest of your life. But that is tomorrow. This is today. I will go to work today and then the gym and continue to avoid it all day and all of tomorrow as well.

Stressed? Not me. Ha!

Tis the season

No not the December holidays. The other season - Pinktober followed by Electionovember. I can't wait. Actually I can wait. Maybe I'll leave the country for a few months. I wish. Then I would have to reschedule a whole bunch of doctor appointments.

So during Pinktober, I pledge:

• I will not purchase anything pink
• I will not donate to anything pink
• I will not raise any awareness for breast cancer

Pinkotober and pinkification has actually turned me off from the whole cause. It has become a money making  bonanza preying on the emotions of the public. There are so many products that are pinked that actually send only pennies for each item purchased to any kind of cause.

A product may sell for $20 and a portion of the manufacturer's profits go to breast cancer research. So the whole sale price is $10. The manufacturing costs are $7 which leaves $3 in profit and if 10% is donated, that is $0.30. You are better off sending the $20 directly to an established non profit.

And never mind pink lights on building, pink sports teams, pink garbage cans, pink fried chicken buckets, pink hats, and more.

As far as Electionovember, I pledge:

• I will vote on election day
• I will not dominate conversations with political rants
• I will not allow myself to be subject to anyone else's political rants
• I will make up my own mind on my votes

I am so sick of the political ads and bashing, mudslinging, and polarizing that makes up politics these days. They don't talk about their issues, they talk about how the others are wrong and lie about each other.

I think all politicians should be required to talk about their stance on issues and not be allowed to bash the other one. I mean they should be free to say things like 'my opponent disagrees with my position but I believe it is correct because...' but they should not be allowed to say things like 'my opponent is a liar and will contribute to the end of the world because they are wrong about everything'.

What if politicians had to take lie detector tests? Would that help?

In the meantime, feel free to join me in an unpinked and politic-free season.

Somewhere out there...

Over the rainbow, far far away. There are all sorts of politics, elections, unrest in the Middle East and more. I don't care. I learned at the last presidential election that I had to go into avoidance mode to keep politics out of my life.

I do understand politics are important and I vote. But frankly I am not interested in negative ads where the candidates slam each other but never say what they are going to do. Or the candidates who fall from grace because they were set up by an opponent as a drug dealer. Or the former candidate in MA who said he has an addiction for $500/hour hookers but not for sex - only dinner and a movie. (Thats a lie if I've ever heard one.)

At this point in my life, I have plenty going on and will never run for politics. Maybe I'm selfish but I'm happy in my own little world with with work, my cat, my husband, our little house with its garden. I don't need to deal with the rest of that crap. I don't have enough time or energy to do much more these days. I do have a social life.

But I also visit doctors regularly. One appointment this week, another in ten days. Then a bunch in October and a couple in November. Then presto! we are done with the big elections for another four years. And I won't have to worry that I might be missing anything on the elections, politics, and all that...

Once again I am in avoidance mode

I am not the brave patient all the time. Well not even most of the time. I have an inner wimp that comes out when faced with large crawly things, big growling dogs, and medical adventures that do not promise to be fun.

I have had tennis elbow for over a year and a half. More than 20 years ago I was told I have ulnar tunnel issues in my elbow. I also have tingling in my hand which is getting worse regardless of how much I wear my brace- all of this is in my right arm. (Which is a good thing if it was in my left arm they would not be able to do much of anything because of lymphedema.) Its not getting better after lots of watchful waiting (I hate that term) and brace wearing and exercises. Monday morning I am going to have an EMG to decide if its tennis elbow, ulnar tunnel, or carpal tunnel and basically decide how to fix this.

Have you ever had an EMG? Its not a fun test. They stick lots of needles in you and then put little electric jolts to see how your  nerves react. You don't feel the electricity - maybe a little tingling. But you do feel all the needle pricks.

I had an EMG five years ago when I was diagnosed with bursitis in my hip I got tingling in my lower left leg and foot. I had an EMG to see if there was anything bad going on and there wasn't and we weren't sure how to proceed. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer and that was put aside for now. I still have tingling in my lower leg and foot and bursitis.

I was told to allow 1-3 hours for my EMG. I can't wait. Three hours of needles in my arm? How fun! Not. I'll suck it up and whine a bit.

Then in August I have another fun test that I am not ready to discuss yet. I am focusing on Monday's fun in an effort to avoid thinking about the next one.

This morning I am in avoidance mode

I am in avoidance mode this morning. I am scheduled to have an endoscopy this morning. An endoscopy is not a big test. They put you to sleep and stick a camera down your throat to look for bad things - mostly to tell you how bad your heart burn really is.

I was very concerned about the idea of a camera down my throat because I googled it and read all the descriptions of what they do. Then I asked my husband how it was when he had one - and he said it was no big deal. I also asked the nurse who called to ask me all the questions and she said they put you to sleep and you wake up and its over. So that is now okay.

But with my medical history, they have to be sure. Which always scares the crap out of me - because of my medical history and needing to being sure. How many bad things are found in routine tests? Have that happen a couple of times and then see how calm you are. And my doctor called last night to confirm why I am having the test she ordered... Does she need a reminder?

So here is my day so far. I couldn't sleep very well and the cat wanted to get up at 5 so I did. He didn't want food or to snuggle, he wanted, the indoor cat, to go out. Now I am wasting time on line. I did slightly redesign my blog. The cat is now napping by my feet. I would like some breakfast and am extremely thirsty - but only because I can't eat or drink for six hours prior. I did cheat and have more than a tiny sip of water with my morning prescriptions and just had a second not so tiny sip of water with my second round of morning prescriptions.

Sooner or later I'll stop dawdling and take a shower and brush my teeth. I find humor in the fact that when they talk about prep for these procedures, they always stress brushing your teeth. I hope at the end of the test they tell me they found nothing too interesting and I get to take it easy this afternoon because I was sedated and am not allowed to make important decisions for 24 hours. Maybe my husband will decide whats for dinner. Tomorrow morning I go back to my doctor and we get to talk about all the uninteresting things they found. I have an hour before I have to leave but I'm not ready to take a shower yet so its time to turn on the TV.

I'm in avoidance mode

This week is not going to be a fun one. I have a doctor appointment today, tomorrow my meds therapist, a test, and another doctor appointment and Thursday a radiofrequency denervation on my right SI joint. I can't wait. I don't want to talk about my medical stuff until I know more about it so today I am in avoidance mode. It is the most mature way I can deal with this - letting my inner three year old out who can close her eyes and make it go away. Okay, its not mature, but it lets me cope better. I also have pills. And a busy schedule.

Yesterday we went sailing. The weather was awesome and I was up on deck and saw this big black thing in front of us... and then a fin appeared and it turned out it was a Minke whale. No I am not coordinated enough to get my camera out in time and get its picture, but it was very cool. Made my day.

Today I am going for a walk, washing dishes, and then going to my appointment before going to work. We are also in the middle of a battle to the death with a horde of fruit flies who have taken up residence in our kitchen. I threw out the bananas last week and moved the trash on the porch and our little apple cider vinegar and dish soap baits seem to be working. I cut up a bunch of fruit this morning with out any visitors appearing so perhaps we are winning the war.

In the meantime, my back hurts. It will be another hot day (ugh).