Clearing Your Plate For Better Balance

With a slew of health ailments comes lots of responsibility.  I need to take responsibility for taking my medications, getting to my doctor appointments, getting to the gym to keep a minimal bit of fitness, as well as basic household stuff (laundry, groceries, garden, etc) as much as I am able. I also need to take care of my emotional self.

Therefore I need to clear my plate of crap and balance myself better. There are some things which should just be taken right off my plate. These include:

• Anyone else's problem. Sorry. I don't have time for them. I'll talk to you about them. Commiserate with you about them. But I will not stress or worry for you. Sorry.
• Anything that is beyond my control. Idiots in Washington, or any other politician anywhere in the world. The weather. Climate change. Hurricanes or blizzards. 
• Anyone who is trying to make me feel bad. If you don't like how I look, what I am wearing, what I am knitting or reading, etc. Sorry. That's your problem. Not mine. As a result you will find you see me a lot less because I don't have time for your attitude.

All of the above has just be pushed off the edge waiting for the waiter with the crumb scraper to clean them up and throw them away.

As a result of doing this I may appear unsympathetic to some but I am trying to preserve any remnants of my sanity. 

If you find yourself overstressed, try clearing your plate of anything you can. You can't take on the burdens of your friends and family members. You can be concerned but you need to focus on yourself. Start getting rid of the things similar to what I took off my plate and see if you can achieve better balance.

Relearning to Balance

I have had any ups and downs recently. My life has changed significantly in recent months since I stopped working. It has given me much more time to spend on things I enjoy. And time to spend on things around the house that I never used to be able to get to.

On the other hand, as I spend more time on the things that I enjoy I find I lose track of time and end up over doing things. Then it takes me time to recover. And I don't get to the rest of the things I need to do - like cook dinner.

Last weekend we had a party on Saturday afternoon. Sunday morning I didn't feel too bad so I went to an event I really wanted to attend. Then Monday I was too tired for anything. I didn't even go to the gym. I basically stayed home all day recovering (except for a single doctor appointment).

After resting for a day, I felt some what better and attempted to take care of things around the house on Tuesday for a few hours - paint a few walls. Bad idea. I ended up being wiped out again and needed to rest again on Wednesday and Thursday morning. Thursday afternoon I had my knitting group and had to run a few errands. Again Friday I was fairly tired but did make it to the gym and the grocery store. And spent Friday afternoon doing recovering.

This is not balance. This is up and down and up and down and more down and up a little and down, and down and down. Then I spend 12 hours in bed mostly asleep and many hours watching bad tv while knitting and reading.

I need to relearn how to balance my life so I can take care of the things I want and not spend so long recovering. Its a new lifestyle so it needs a new balance.

And there are only so many HGTV shows and Lifetime movies I can watch before my brain starts to rot. And there are only so many books at the library I want to read.

The Cancer Balance

Do you ever wonder if you are focusing too much on the cancer in your life? Or too little? Before a cancer diagnosis, cancer probably occupies a little tiny corner of your brain.

After a cancer diagnosis, it takes up all but the little tiny corner of your brain required to do basic things like eat and sleep at minimal levels. After the initial stress, cancer-brain occupation slowly settles down to a somewhat manageable level as basic human demands for survival kick in - like thinking semi-logically.

Eventually you get to a bit more of an even keel so you get through life, after therapy, support groups, or whatever. Then life goes on, if cancer doesn't return, and you get some more of your brain capacity back and begin to think about life around you again.

So now, I wonder if I am thinking too little about cancer? Because I do not allow it to fill my brain all the time. Should I allow myself to think about cancer more?

Now that I have this knitting group with other women with cancer at the cancer support center, I feel like I am back in a support group sometimes. We have conversations about the ups and downs of diagnosis and treatment along with all sorts of related issues. I kind of like that part.

But it makes me wonder if I should be thinking (pondering) cancer more? I like being sort of back to my regular life without the cancer domination. As cancer is part of my life, should I be dwelling on it more?

Maybe I am still just learning how to balance cancer in my life.