And the world didn't come to the end

So when the Supreme Court upheld the health care reform law (whether its a tax or not is still up for debate) and the world did not come to an end. I know there has been a lot of hate mongering on the topic which is supposedly somehow related  to the president's citizenship to some people.

But now more people will be able to get health insurance. Recently there was of those stupid slide show news stories (because evidently the media thinks we need our news in slide shows and can't read articles) that listed the percent of residents of each state without health insurance. Massachusetts, with its state law, has the lowest rate of 5%. Texas has the highest rate of 25% which I found to be amazing. According to our friend Google, there are 26,403,743 residents of Texas. That means in Texas alone there are 6,600,936 people without insurance. I find that amazing.

I realize some people go with out insurance by choice. While I do not agree with it, I respect their decision. But I am sure that the vast majority of those 6.6 million would like to have insurance and either could not afford it or the insurance companies rejected them for pre-existing conditions or whatever.

Anyway since the world didn't come to an end, I am happy to wait and see what the changes really mean. I also hopes it has a chain reaction effect on the rest of the health care industry. And how the 'poor' insurance companies will have to adapt.

Questioning

Back before cancer #2, I was the obedient patient and obeyed orders without questions,  took my meds and came back for appointments as requested. I don't do that any more. I ask questions and want explanations for things. It turns out I am not alone.

A few weeks ago I got together with a bunch of friends who all had been through the same breast cancer support group with me five years ago.  One of them is now dealing with another cancer diagnosis. We were out to dinner and talking about treatments and doctors and our opinions. We amazed ourselves at how outspoken we were. We were telling our doctors what we want for treatment, protocol, testing, and much more.

But we earned this. We have been through enough scans, tests, medical adventures, and other fun, we know what we are dealing with and want it on our terms.

Did cancer make me paranoid?

I actually started this blog post over a year ago and in an effort to clear out unposted posts, I am finally finishing this one. Apparently I am still concerned that cancer made me paranoid. Am I always assuming the worst with every medical issue? Yes, I do. Its not just a sprained ankle, its a life long problem ankle that refuses to get better. It doesn't help that I keep respraining it.

But did two cancer diagnoses always make me assume the worst from my doctor appointments? Sometimes yes. Its called welcome to the 'its-not-a-headache-its-a-brain-tumor' world.

A cancer diagnosis makes you overly concerned over every little ailment. Especially the ones where your doctor looks at it and says 'hmmm.... this is very unusual'. I dont really have any of those right now. But I do have the ones where my doctor says 'let me talk to your oncologist and get back to you on that' and 'lets wait a month and see how things are going'. But I don't think I'm overly paranoid, may be just a tiny bit.

Looking for my oomph

I seem to have lost my oomph these days,. I have no idea when I lost it but it is clearly missing. If I attempt to be a normal person I end up paying the price - in pain and exhausted.

Yesterday I went with my brother and his two younger kids to the Museum of Science in Boston and then we went to the beach and walked all over both places. I knew I was running out of oomph walking on the beach but I was a long way down the beach and had to walk back. Then my family came over for dinner.  Then I went to bed early.

The day before we went to Maine for my uncle's funeral. I drove a round trip of 240 miles. And we went to the service, the grave side service and then the reception and then my parent's for dinner of take out pizza.

Today I have no oomph. It cannot be found. It is almost lunch time and I am just getting to my blog. Usually I am on it first thing in the morning. But I made bacon and waffles for everyone. My husband suggested taking me out for lunch, but I am too tired. I don't know that I will go anywhere today at all. Even may stay home for dinner.

I would like to find my oomph by tomorrow so I can go sailing. But that may not happen either. My oomph may not return for a few more days. Grr.

A really big fine but did they learn anything

Horrors! Glaxo SmithKline was fined $3 billion (that's with a 'b', not an 'm' folks) for marketing drugs for purposes for which they were not approved and for paying doctors kick backs to prescribe these drugs. $1 billion is for the criminal offenses and the other $2 billion is for the civil liability.

Kick backs and illegal use of the drugs. And apparently they are not alone in these practices. According to their website their annual sales are in the range of $28 billion so this is going to hurt them. Unless they have some fancy insurance policy which covers this.

There are laws in place that are there to prevent this. I hope that this shows that there are teeth behind the law and that other companies cease these practices. Not to blame GSK solely but we do want to assume the laws are in place to protect us patients.

Moving on from cancer

I have noticed in recent months, make that years, that I blog less and less about cancer and my medical adventures and more about cancer and research and treatments (and other people's stupidity). Its not that cancer is less important in my life but that it stresses me less. I do have impending doctor appointments that make me cringe. Who was it who said that going to the oncologist is like visiting your parole officer, you never know when they are going to yank you back into some kind of hellish prison?

I only visit an oncologist four or five times a year. My radiation oncologist and my medical oncologist like to see me twice a year. My surgeon's office likes to see me once a year and will be in charge of my mammograms for life. My endocrinologist likes to seem me twice a year. That is like visiting an oncologist because she is there for thyroid cancer. So I guess I was wrong 2+2+1+2=7.

They like to have their visits nicely spaced out as well. This spring I was a bad patient and saw my medical oncologist and my radiation oncologist on the same day. One appointment was rescheduled a few weeks after it should have taken place and another one I moved up a few weeks because I wasn't available when it was scheduled. They didn't like that - I got that message. I was just trying to fit them around my schedule. Instead of sticking to theirs. They like to see me every couple of months to check for those pesky cancer cooties in their own way.

In general my cancer stress level is a little lower than previously but its still there. You can't erase two cancers. Stephanie, over at 'Bah to cancer' announced this morning (in England so she is up earlier than me) that she is moving away from cancer defining her life and on to other things. She does phrase things pretty well but then she's a writer. I am not. I am a mere blogger.

Cancer doesn't define me more than it has shaped my life. Will I move too far away from cancer? Probably not.

But I don't look sick

When people see me who don't know my health disasters, they probably don't think I have anything wrong with me. Well that just goes back to the fact that appearances can be deceiving. Have you ever hunted through a parking lot for a single space and then seen a seemingly healthy person park in a handicapped spot in the front row and stroll into the store while you drive in circles? They may have a respiratory problem which prevents them from walking long distances or some other ailment that does not have visual symptoms.

Us cancer people may be harboring some nasty things inside but usually don't look too bad - unless we are sporting our chemo 'hair cut' and pallor. At our first diagnosis, while we are waiting for surgery, treatment, and full staging, we may look as healthy as can be even if we contain multiple tumors.

Now I go to a gym where its full of healthy looking, dilapidated people. I was speaking with one of the owners recently and he said everyone there has significant health problems. But most of them, unless they are on oxygen, a walker, wheelchair, missing a limb, or other obvious ailment, look pretty darn healthy because they work out. Recently I went  hiking and was pleasantly surprised at how well I did on a very hot day. It shows my regular work outs are helping me significantly.

But if I compare myself to most of my friends and colleagues, I have more health issues alone than they all do combined. But at least I don't look sick.