One heck of a week

I haven't been blogging because I've been a little busy, to say the least. Yes I still have a cold. It keeps lingering which doesn't help anything. And it means I can't go to the gym and work off the stress.

During this week we have had all kinds of fun:

• The buyer of our old house's lender wanted documentation that doesn't exist. We had to jump through hoops to get a letter from the town on something that no one has ever asked for, ever. Our broker came through on this. But it cause a lot of stress, starting New Year's Eve.
• The buyer of our old house's broker is an idiot. They didn't understand there was any reason to do anything helpful, or have someone keep on top of things while they went out of the country for the holidays.
• The seller of our new house's broker is also an idiot. Although the seller was legally required to ensure that the house was maintained and snow removal was taken care of after they moved out a month ago, nothing was done. The broker blamed the seller for not making plans and then dumped it all on the seller's attorney to get it taken care of. I met her and I could tell she was more concerned with how she looked than actually touching anything. She never even tried to call a plow service, she made the attorney make the calls. And the attorney bitched about it at the closing.
  Because we had a storm last week which snowed and switched to rain and sat on the driveway untouched, it turned into a glacier that my husband spent hours salting, sanding, and chopping yesterday until a plow finally showed up. I told them we would go to the closing but not sign anything until we had proof the driveway was clear (so the movers could get into the driveway today). We were late to the closing because we needed to go see the plowed driveway ourselves.
• Finally, we took our cats to a cat sitter for the duration of the transition. One of our cats, Boots, got out some how. We found out yesterday morning that he has been missing since Wednesday afternoon. While my husband was shoveling snow yesterday, I was walking around near the cat sitter looking for him. I am going to head out this morning to go look for him in another neighborhood near by where there might have been a sighting. 

But finally we own a new house and are moving in today. The POD will be dropped off this morning by 10. The movers are coming between 8-830. Verizon is coming between 11-2 and the hutch we purchased will be delivered between 330-4. But I need to go find the cat.

Oh, my lymphedema arm is not happy with all this moving business. I might have actually carried things and am feeling it in my arm. And all my sleeves are packed so I have to wait until I can unpack to find one. but I have been doing my exercises which helps.

And my cold is still hanging in there. Yes I will go to the doctor if I am still sick on Monday.

When is a cold not just a cold?

When your immune system is compromised. That is when. What did you think I would say? The flu? Well that too.

In the middle of all this moving chaos (we hope to sign lots of papers tomorrow and are staying in a hotel for 3 nights in transition), I have a cold. Not a very good cold either. I feel like crap. Last week I had the flu. Before that I thought I had an ear infection.

Chronologically its this: On Dec 11, I went to the doctor because I thought I had an ear infection. The doctor said they weren't sure it was an ear infection but because of my medical history (my favorite phrase - NOT), they gave me antibiotics. I felt better after a few days but never completely well.

Then on December 23, I woke up with the flu. The kind of flu where EVERY joint in your body hurts and you are running a temperature for two days. I stayed in bed and took my temperature and pretended I was getting better.

Finally on January 2, I developed a scratchy throat which turned into all kinds of congestion and a nose that runs like a spigot. And here it is on the 6th and I am still not better. This isn't good.

Tomorrow is buy-and-sell-a-house-day. If I could, I would stay in bed and watch bad Lifetime Movies and not go anywhere. But since we are in a hotel and I have to sign lots of things, I will pretend I am healthy.

Friday is get up at the crack of dawn, check out of the hotel, stop and grab breakfast on the way (before the sun rises at 7 am) and head to our new house. Then after the movers get there and we give them a tour of what goes where, I will drive down to our old neighborhood and pick up the cats around 9 am and come back so I can watch everyone else do lots of stuff and be decorative. I hope my husband puts our bed back together so I can sleep - after the movers leave and the cable guy does his thing).

Finally Saturday I can begin to try to take care of myself. Maybe. A normal person wouldn't be sick this long. Its just my immune system and health crap that doesn't heal up anymore.

I'm not whining. I said I wouldn't use my blog as a place to whine. I am just trying to cope. And if I go to a doctor, I am sure they are gong to tell me to do things like drink fluids, take OTC medications, and get lots of rest. Things I don't have time to do until we move.

Don't you wish you were as healthy as me?

Persistent hope

Every day I get deluged (or so it feels) but an unending heap of emails. One of my subconscious goals is to get an email for a cure for any one of my ailments so I check them all with a glimmer of hope.

Today I got an email from Medivizor titled "What is the recommended treatment for patients with hormone receptor positive breast cancer". I quickly leaped to read it.... And was immediately disappointed. Perhaps I had hoped for a new cure, or to find out that there was a new treatment to prevent recurrence, or some other miracle.

But no, it was only the release of information that I had previously heard: Tamoxifen is recommended for 10 years for premenopausal women with ER+/PR+ breast cancer or for five years plus up to five more years of an Aromatase Inhibitor such as Aromasin or Femara. Damn.

Hopes are dashed for today this morning but will reappear the next time I check my email.

A resolution

I have a resolution finally for the new year: I will stop using my blog as a place to whine, especially about moving. I use my blog to write about issues which matter to me which recently has included a lot of whining about moving.

Whining about things never really helps so its a non productive waste of energy. I have many other things I could waste my energy on - like going to the gym. That might help lower my stress levels it since I have a cold still again, that's not happening any time soon. That may be part of my problem. I have had a cold or ear infection or flu since the middle of December. And our moving is causing a huge amount of work and huge amount of stress. And more work and more stress.

I could blog about my health - I mean that is what my blog is supposed to be about, not about whining.

Whining is also a pretty negative way of coping. I need to cope positively, not negatively. Once the road to negativity starts, its hard to get back on to the sunny side of life positive side. Its a slippery slope and I need to stay on top of it.

I did blog about coping and sense of humor a few weeks ago. I need to get back on the humor side. I need to laugh at the crap life is dishing out more often. My husband did laugh at my hair this morning - which is helpful after a night of little sleep

One resolution is all I need for this year.

Being an adult or cleaning the oven

We all have our quirks I know. I just have a fear that the stove will blow up if I clean the oven. The oven gets so hot and smells. I won't run the self cleaning feature overnight or leave the house while its running.

I have memories from my childhood of my mother cleaning the oven with those really nasty toxic chemicals. They smelled, they foamed, and then you were supposed to just wipe out the oven - using a sponge which would be immediately thrown away and wearing giant yellow gloves because it was so nasty.

After college, I lived in several different apartments with room mates and occasionally would break down and clean the oven. None of us ever wanted to. I mean, its probably one of the least fun tasks on the planet. I have a friend who jokes that instead of cleaning the oven, she moves - even if it means buying a new house, or a new stove.

I learned to compromise. I just kept a piece of foil in the bottom of the oven and another on the lower rack to catch all the spills. Then with an occasional wiping out the bottom and cleaning the window periodically, I was good to go for years.

Then along came self cleaning ovens. They were a huge advantage. You could skip the chemicals and let the self cleaning part work all by itself. But its smells like something is burning and might set off the smoke alarm. And I am never comfortable.

I kept using foil. Its worked just fine. I never clean the oven. I hate using the self cleaning feature, I always feel like it will catch on fire or something.

We are moving and we need to leave the house 'broom clean'. I have accepted that this means the oven needs to be clean. So this morning, I woke up and figured out how to self clean our seven year old oven. It took me a minute but now its cleaning itself right now. But it smells like a burned out potato skin and the house is filling with smoke.

But I am being an adult and facing my fears that the house will not burn down. We all have our quirks. And I will call my friend later today and tell her I finally cleaned the oven, because we are moving.

Exercise for RA Pain

I go to the gym three times a week and get in my hour of cardio. But I am not out to break speed records nor do I set the bike or stepper for great resistance. I want to get my heart rate up and benefit from regular cardio exercise.

Now a new study has come out (because we need more studies) that says that 'Rigorous Exercise Could Aid Rheumatoid Pain'. The researchers had the subjects go through high intensity interval training such as spinning. The subjects benefited from reduced weight and increased oxygen saturation but not increased pain.

Frankly the idea of trying that kind of exercise petrifies me. I have never tried spinning, even when I was healthy. It just looks too intense for me and has never really interested me.

I realize a lot of people when diagnosed with rheumatoid or other autoimmune/chronic ailments cut back drastically on their exercise. This may be because of actual or anticipated pain. I cut back on my exercise plan because I couldn't finish it. But I still kept my hour of cardio. It was suggested that I cut back. I ignored that (yes I have been known to ignore advice I don't like), feeling that if I can keep up exercise as much as possible, I will.

I have good and bad days with pain. But the idea of overexerting myself has no appeal. I mean sometimes I do things I probably shouldn't - you can ask my husband about this. The problem with over exertion, whether its running too many errands or just packing too may boxes, is that I pay the price for a few days after. So you won't catch me in a spin class.

Comparing Stress Levels

Since my second cancer diagnosis, my benchmark for my stress levels is my reaction to bad news and how I handled my diagnosis news. Yesterday I almost hit that level again. We were just notified at 5 pm on New Year's Eve that our carefully choreographed house move next week, may be delayed, because of a problem on our buyer's end. The real problem is that due to the holiday weekend, we are stuck in a stress filled limbo through the long weekend.

When I read the news by email from our attorney, instantly the stress level hit me and I felt nauseous and overwhelmed. That is similar to how I felt at diagnosis.

Stress can have a huge impact on my body. I used to be able to measure my stress level by eating - I'm a stress eater. Somethings required a candy bar and others required ice cream every day for a bit - neither of which were good for my body. Sometimes long term stress made me go for a long walk daily. This is a more beneficial way of coping.

After cancer two, stress would lead to stress eating but as stress levels increased through surgeries and treatment, when faced with potentially very difficult issues I would get to the point, where food wouldn't interest me at all. Last night I felt gut punched and had to calm down a little to relax to eat dinner. By that measure my stress level was nearing my cancer 2 diagnosis stress level

I am still feeling the stress. I did not sleep well last night - gee I wonder why? Today, the most important thing I need to do is get more packing done. I am not motivated at all. The real problem is that I do not see an end to this stress.

We will probably not have answers until Monday, 3 days from now, and will probably face delays in moving. So all our plans will be messed up and we will have to scramble to reschedule everything - the movers and the POD delivery to start. And find a new cat sitter. And extend our cable service at our current home. And change the schedule for new cable and gas/electric service. And make new hotel reservations for our transition days.

Stress sucks. Maybe I'll just quit eating.