Living With Limitations in the Family

This is the misunderstood side of my life - how I live with limitations. The other day, I visited my mother who also has RA. We went for a walk. I don't usually go for walks because I get plenty of exercise at the gym and going for walks isn't a great exercise for me. My back hurts and I get tired.

Other family members insist my mother go for walks too. They give her directions like if she would walk further she can get in better shape. She also should do her exercises, which she does. And she rides her little stationary bike while watching the news for 30 minutes every night. She gets plenty of exercise and really can't do more. I go to the gym three times a week and that's plenty of exercise for me.

My mother has had RA since 1989 and I have had it since 2012 (I think, maybe 2013). In addition we both have bad backs. She has had numerous back surgeries. I have just had cancer a couple of times.

With our health, we are not interested in getting healthier by working out because we are more interested in maintaining their health than becoming body builders. We just don't want to do too much and exhaust ourselves and then need days to recover and feel better.

We went for a walk. My mother had her rollator (brand is Hugo - She calls it Hugo, I call it Victor). We started our walk. We went down hill (because the hill is steeper if we go uphill) and we decided we would go until we felt we had walked enough and then would turn around. We went past the neighbors across the street, and then past the next house. At the third neighbor's mailbox, we turned around and went back. This is a neighborhood of houses with about 200' of frontage. It would be stretching it to to say we walked 1000 feet or 2 tenths of a mile. We felt that was ample. We thought the rest of the family would not appreciate how that walk was enough for us. And we don't need any more.

This summer there will be a family 2 week vacation. I have volunteered to take my mother up on the first day because neither of us work and we can start our highly energetic vacation which will consist of one activity each day (could be limited to going to the swimming pool) and a nap at 3pm daily. We also will not motivate in the mornings until after 9 am.

My husband was happy to hear that my mother and I will restrict ourselves accordingly.  Now we just have to come up with things to do within our limitations. Our plan is to have fun and not exhaust ourselves.