When all else fails

Go to the beach.

Yes that is my plan for the day, or at least the morning. I could be doing a thousand other things, packing, moving stuff, grocery shopping, cleaning up, and many more. I could even have gone to work. But I am opting to go to the beach.

Why you ask? Because I want to and I can. And there is a limit to what I can do on a given day. And its a birthday present to myself. Yes today is my birthday (and I am 37 again if you must know).

Back in my 20s I worked for a company which gave all full time employees a paid floating holiday to take on the birthday. Since then, I have always avoided working on my birthday. And today's weather forecast is for an upper 80s perfect summer day and going to the beach is recommended. So I am taking their advice.

I will contemplate life as I gaze out at the ocean. That is my prescription for  life at its best.

As my health goes down my appreciation for living longer improves and incentivizes me to stop and 'smell the roses' so to speak.

No I don't care

Sunday is my cancerversary. I don't really care. At all. What would I be celebrating? Still being here after breast cancer. Not really. I probably should celebrate my 34th cancerversary from thyroid cancer. But I don't either. I have considered that one but never have done much.

I can understand why some people want to celebrate being around after their lives were turned upside down. I have a friend who is I believe 8 years out from stage IIIC lymphoma. I have another friend who will be 34 or so years out from stage IV ovarian cancer. Those probably deserve more celebrating but I am not even sure either of them do.

What I do prefer is to celebrate my 37th birthday (again - I was 29 for a long time but have since switched to 37) this year. My life is not defined by my health but by me. In fact, I cannot let my life be defined by my health. I am so much more than that.