Feel Like I'm Back Twenty Steps

Finally I am feeling better and my post surgery recovery seems almost complete. The signs are there because I actually felt able to bring in the empty trash barrels and recycling bins (put everything in the big barrel and wheel it down the driveway). This is the first time since early October I have felt up to that. My husband even noticed.

I was all set to go to the gym this week for the first time in months but I woke up Monday with a temperature (101.5) and thought I had the flu. It wasn't the flu. It wasn't an ear infection. It was just your basic run of the mill cold. It set me back - I postponed everything from this week to next week and am still dragging around some.

However, I do now feel better but feel horribly out of shape. I lost weight after sitting around for a couple of months and now have a fatter gut. I get tired easily - probably because:
I'm out of shape
I'm recovering from surgery
I'm out of shape
I'm getting over a cold
I'm out of shape
I've sat on my butt for more than 10 weeks
I'm out of shape

But now my goal is to work on getting back in shape. I really need to.

When I was diagnosed with RA and fibromyalgia, I was very pleased at the fact that I had been working out regularly and was in relatively good shape and was better off than many others when diagnosed. Now I feel twenty steps back from where I was. I am not in shape now. It will be ten times harder to get back in shape than without RA and fibromyalgia.

So Monday I go to PT for the second to last time. Tuesday I go to the gym for the first time in 2.5 months. Then with any luck, I will be back to regular gym visits and work on slowly getting back in shape. The key word is 'slowly' but I'll work on getting back those 20 steps.....

Post Surgery Recovery

Its exactly 8 weeks and one day since my knee surgery that made me rest more for longer than I have had to in many years. I was told 4-5 months of rehab for my meniscus repair. Now I am at the end of month two and realize I still have many more weeks of rehab in front of me.

The first month I was not allowed to drive so I sat around and gained back the ten pounds I had just lost. I got a lot of reading and knitting done and binge watched way too much TV. The cats liked me to be home and sit around a lot so they got attention. I had to postpone many doctor appointments. The only thing I did get to do was go to physical therapy twice a week.

In the second month, I was allowed to drive and do more things. I started going out of the house and going to all the postponed doctor appointments as well as the grocery store, library, etc, as well as PT. This meant as I resumed my normal activities I hit the exhaustion plateau more frequently. I got out of shape (and fat) while sitting around for a month.

In addition, as I am doing more, I am making my knee hurt. Every PT session starts with ten minutes on the bike to get started. Yesterday, at minute 6 my knee started hurting so I had to move on to other tortures prematurely. The therapists told me its because I have been exerting myself that my knee is telling me that its not quite ready for everything I am putting it through quite yet.

At the beginning of the third month, I am seeing the end of PT. Three more visits to go before I return to the gym. I think the only reason I am ending PT so soon is because the gym I go to (for dilapidated people) is run by physical therapists and I will revise my workout with one of them before any exercise.

But at least I can look forward to going to the gym. The gym is where I spent nearly two hours three days a week. I chat with lots of different people there as well as get in a good workout. Its a big event for me - both the exercise and the socializing. I can't wait.

I just hope my knee is up to it. I realize that I can't just hop back into an hour of cardio followed by 45 minutes or more of stretching, weights, and resistance exercises. But I am getting frustrated with the amount of effort it takes me to do much along with the length of recovery required afterwards. Also, its the wrong season to sit around with an ice pack on my knee....

I am recovering. If I have come this far in two months, I should be able to get back in shape in another two.... I hope?

On Not Blogging About Breast Cancer

You might have noticed that I haven't been blogging about breast cancer recently. Why? Because my brain has been filled with non-breast cancer issues that take up the entire health section of it.

My brain is full of knee, RA, fibromyalgia, and other health issues. Like why can't I stop taking a couple of medications (a couple of serious conversations are upcoming)? Or why can't my hands and feet hurt less even though I am taking all these meds to make them stop hurting? Or when will my knee be all better and get back to normal? And why did I manage to get so tired yesterday when all I did was go to a yarn store (and spend too much money)?

Anyway, breast cancer doesn't fit in anywhere. I am happy that it doesn't fit.

I think its a sign that I am moving on in some ways in my life. This is a good thing. Breast cancer will never go away in my brain, as thyroid cancer, never does. Cancer never goes away.

But breast cancer will be happy to fill my brain up again at the next little twinge. [Wait, is that a lump I feel?]

I'm just going to focus on my knee for now.

Driving Again!

This is a big day. I drove home from breakfast today. It was a whole three miles but my knee felt fine. And I am going to drive myself to my doctor appointments today so my husband doesn't have to. However, he will be drive me this weekend to craft shows because they are longer distances.

All this means, I am just as restricted as I always have been. I will be coming home to lie down regularly.

But I can go to my PT and doctor appointments without hunting for a ride or paying for a cab. And maybe I can get my hair cut next week.

No gym until mid December either. Wah! But this is a start. I am returning to my normal life....

Taking The Good With The Bad

Sometimes, or maybe most of the time, I never get good medical news. I swear, my doctors go off script all too often. So yesterday I got some good news and some bad news.

First the knee doctor said I can start driving. But I need to take it easy. I need to be able to slam on the brakes with my restructured knee. Apparently the surgery did some restructuring but I am not a doctor so I don't really understand it. (All I know is I have lots of knee exercises.) First before driving, I have to practice driving in a big parking lot (like when I first learned to drive) or in our quiet neighborhood to see how it feels. And start driving slowly, not just not getting speeding tickets, but take it easy and work up to driving long distances. My husband was with me so he heard it all and will keep me restricted (maybe I should have left him in the waiting room).

In addition, I don't have to wear the awful, uncomfortable brace any more. I have graduated to the little soft brace which has little metal hinges and gives support. But I still need to be careful with my knee. I can't stand on it for long periods of time. I can't bend it more than 90 degrees, except in PT.

I can't go back to the gym until mid to late December. I should continue PT for at least the end of the year. And I need to go back to the doctor in two months.

After getting all that wonderful news at the doctor's office, we headed down to the blood lab. When we checked in they told us there was a 40 minute wait. But by some miracle we only waited 20 minutes. Today I have a nasty bruise from where they took blood - that happens sometimes.

This morning I got my blood test results. I know I am going to get calls from two doctors because some of them are way different than before. This means medication changes and doctor appointments.... Oh, joy. (No, nothing major but its just concerning when they change too much.)

So it was a good and bad day. But we went to the grocery store so we now have food to eat. I'll just wait to hear from my doctors.

Today Is The Big Day

I have been waiting for this day for nearly five weeks. This is the day I go see my surgeon for a follow up. I have my fingers crossed that all is well and I am given the green light.... to drive that is.

I have not been able to drive since October 5, the date of my surgery. Originally I expected that my surgery would be a minor arthroscopic clean up of my knee and I would be all healed by now. But now, during surgery they found what they really needed to do was to repair my meniscus so I don't lose any more stability in my right knee (I need all the stability I can get as my left knee has a torn ACL and likes to give way sometimes).

So they did the right thing (and I don't regret this at all) and repaired my knee. When I woke up they told me its four to five months until I am healed. At my first follow up, ten days after surgery, I asked if I could drive and was told not yet.

Today is my five week (minus one day) follow up and I have had three weeks of PT so far, so I hope this is the big day and I am allowed to drive.

If I am not given the green light to drive, I will probably cry. If not in the doctor's office but later on. Its so restrictive and depressing to be stuck at home. Walter, my husband, works all day. I have been begging drives off people, taking cabs, etc.

But I have over due library books, I can't go to the grocery store, I can't get together with friends. I am at home all day from 7am to 5pm, five days a week. To top it off, I have had a cold since last Thursday. Today I am finally feeling normal, after 14 hours of sleep. And I have been eating too much left over Halloween candy.

Its not that I want to go out all day, every day. I just want to get out of the house and see other people. Its I just want my life back. I wouldn't mind going to the gym but I am sure that's another few weeks.

So cross your fingers for me. Or send me kleenex.

Frustrated

I am very frustrated right now. I am incredibly limited by my health normally and now I add in my knee that I am not supposed to be fully weight bearing or bend more than 90 degrees and the fact that I can't drive. Yesterday I really overdid things with my knee.

I am not supposed to bend my knee more than 90 degrees. I have a big (ugly, uncomfortable, awkward) brace to keep my leg straight that I no longer have to wear at home. I have smaller soft braces that are supposed to keep my knee straight but are much more comfortable to wear. It does make it easier on me. But doesn't protect my knee quite as much.

Yesterday morning we had another 'cat brought in the not quite dead chipmunk' which is now living in the baseboards of our dining room between periodic bouts of cat battles. At its first arrival, we waged an all out war on the thing, assisting the mighty 'Boots', backed up by soldier 'Evil Kitty' in his determination to dispose of it.

At one point during the battle when I was holding up table cloths and floor length curtains, for some stupidass reason, I bent my knee all the way. It did not instantly cause pain. But it hurts today. I will need to admit my lapse to the PT people today.

I need take it easy again today. I have to stay off my feet. I informed my family last night. We still have a house guest and she will have to be on her own because I just can't do anything.

So my frustration is:

• Can't drive
• Possible reinjury of knee
• Unable to be a good hostess
• The house looks like crap
• Pain
• Stuck at home

Finally, we also had a huge storm last night (typical New England - a tiny hurricane named Phillippe came up the coast and had a party with a Canadian cold front and another west moving front on top of New England). The are trees and branches down all over and many people without power. I will get to sit inside and look at the debris everywhere. More frustration. Grrr.....

I Did It Again

Yes, I did it again. I over did things. I have to recover by spending a day in bed. I have lots of yarn to knit. I have an ice pack for my knee. I did some of my exercises. And I do plan to get up and take a shower eventually. But I have no plans to do much else today.

We have a house guest again, one of my cousins. Yesterday we did what both of us consider to be fun. We went to an estate sale which had some craft materials and the New England Quilt Museum (worth a stop if you are near). My cousin quilts and I am a craft junkie who is about to add quilting to my repertoire. It was very nice to get out of the house and do something fun. I have been trapped at home too much as I can't drive for another 12 days.

By 3 pm I was exhausted. My left foot really hurt. I am not really weight bearing on my right leg, or weight bearing as tolerated. We had explored the museum - right now embroidered and embellished quilts going back to the early 19th century - and then stopped by their library where they were selling quilting books. I got a few so I can learn how to assemble the quilt that is in my brain (but not yet created).

We got back home around 330 and I had to lie down for close to 1.5 hours before heading out for dinner. I was a tiny bit tired by the time we got home last night. After 11 hours sleep, I definitely need to stay off my feet for the balance of today. Of course its the first nice, warm, sunny day out there. But I will stay in bed until we head out for dinner again tonight.

That's the thing with house guests, we end up going out to eat a lot. Its fattening. And I can't get any exercise.

I am having a lazy day as a result of yesterday. I just took a shower. I ate some breakfast and made a dinner reservation... I think I need to nap.

Recuperating (Or Being A Bad Patient)

I am recuperating from my surgery. It has been 8 days now. I am starting to get to the annoyed stage. The seriously annoyed stage.

First of all, I am stuck wearing this dumba$$ knee brace which does not fit. It is too big for me. I can't tighten the lowest strap to be useful. If I am wearing anything underneath it (including the TED compression stocking I am supposed to wear every day for the next three weeks - which is not happening), it just slides down my leg. So I am stuck wearing shorts. Today is a little chilly for shorts but that's why I have sweaters. I am supposed to wear it 24/7 except when showering.

Second, I believe I am supposed to be doing exercises. I do some sometimes. They are written on a piece of paper that is in a very safe space. When I find the safe space I'll make sure I am doing them as much as I should.

Third, I am supposed to take it easy. I am, mostly, sort of. Friday, the day after surgery, I did nothing productive. Saturday, we went to two estate sales and three yard sales. I got two beautiful antique canes - one with a brass eagle for a handle and the other with a brass duck head. Sunday, I made bread. Monday, I can't remember. Tuesday, I went to my father's doctor appointments and was out from 830am to 330 pm. I was tired when I got home. Wednesday I made home made bagels and set up both my looms. Thursday, I went to knitting and then came home and slept from 4pm to 5am. I think I tired myself out.

Fourth, I am allowed to fully weight bear on my leg provided a use a cane. I keep misplacing my cane. Its somewhere around here. I use it when I leave the house but the instant I come in the door, I put it down someplace.... I find it again before I leave the house again.

I may not have spent as much time resting my knee but I don't want to be bored. Bored people eat things like ice cream and cookies between meals. I can't wait for my appointment Monday. I am going to demand a new knee brace that fits and is less awkward. And I want to be able to drive.

Its been torture not being able to drive. But my friends have been nice and have been taking me places. I already have some lined up for next week if I can't drive.... If I can't drive, I might go crazy.

I don't think I am being a very good patient. But I am trying.

Trapped At Home

I haven't been so trapped at home since chemo. Then I was too sick to care that I spent my life inside watching TV, hanging out with the cat. Right now I have a giant brace on my leg and can't drive until next week.

My husband is home today, but its day five of 'togetherness' and its starting to get old. Its great that he's doing the laundry I sorted, saving me trips up and down our one flight of stairs. But we are running out of things to do together. He does have other projects he is working on.

Tomorrow a friend is rescuing me and taking me for coffee and then dropping me off at the hospital so I can go to my father's doctor appointments with him. The difference is I will be the one in the wheelchair, giving him a hard time about driving skills, instead of the otherway around.  But I will be out of the house for a good four or five hours.

Thursday another friend is rescuing me and taking me to my knitting group. That will keep me out for several hours again. And I get to see people and talk to them in person.

In the meantime, I am trapped at home with the cats - and the (damn) half dead chipmunks they keep bringing home. Because of my knee and lovely brace, I can't do much of anything. Standing is difficult for any length of time. Sitting is okay. Lying down with my knee up is best. This is very limiting.

I have the DVR and all the 'bad' tv I have recorded. I have tons of knitting I can do. I have to finish a weaving project and set up my loom again (if I can).

But I am not in a lot of pain. The cranky whiny stage has not yet appeared but could be looming in the background. Maybe its time to finish painting the kitchen... Or maybe not.

Number Nine

Surgery number nine was yesterday. I thought the surgeon was going to clean out my knee arthroscopically so it would no longer catch and lock up. That was a good idea.

Everything went as planned - including me being STARVING by the time we got there at 1pm after not eating since the night before - until I woke up after surgery. That's when I found out the bad news.

Well its a good news/bad news situation. The good news is that the surgeon fixed my knee so it will no longer catch - which is amazingly painful when it happens. The bad news is the repair is more complicated than the original plan. Instead of a clean out, he repaired my meniscus. This surgery is not usually done on people over 25 but I think since the tear was where it was repair was better than removal. However, recovery is four to five MONTHS instead of four to five WEEKS. A 'minor' difference.

And I have a giant brace I need to keep on all the time except when showering (and I can't shower until tomorrow). This brace is so big it doesn't tighten up around my leg except near my knee. And, and, and, and, and, and,.....

This isn't the best picture but I took it lying in bed with my leg out straight in front of me. You will notice the TED stocking I am supposed to wear every day as well. Its still drying from when I washed it last night. It might take a few more hours to dry.

I will say this is the first surgery that I woke up to a 'surprise' since Number One in 1981 where it turned out it wasn't a 'goiter' and was 'thyroid cancer'. But that doesn't matter. This just sucks.

However, there is plenty of ice cream in my freezer. My husband is home for the next four days straight to take care of me. I can weight bear because of the stupid ass brace and my cane so I can get around pretty easily on the one floor of our house. The cat even slept on my knee last night (as he likes too) which was okay because of the brace so he didn't squish me.

Can you hear me being grumpy already? I have to double check when I can drive because its my right knee. And the pain level is fine. I already have pain meds and can take them when I want but I only needed one last night and am okay so far today. I think I need to get more ice to put on my knee. Crabbiness may prevail for the next few days.