My Back Pain Break Is Over

Just over a year ago, I switched to a new back pain doctor because my old one was an idiot. I like my new doctor. I saw him a whole bunch of times through 2017. At my last appointment, he said to me "instead of scheduling your next appointment, why don't we wait and see how you do and you call me when you need to see me?" I thought that was fine. I have not seen him since November and have nothing scheduled.

Unfortunately, my back is very unhappy with me in many ways. The pain level breaks through my pain patch. This has been going on for a week or so. I might wait another week or so before calling but I don't know how long I can last.

Damn, damn, damn. This does not make me happy. I didn't lift or carry things anything. I have done some laundry today but that doesn't usually hurt my back. Today I think I had an uncomfortable chair at the garden club meeting today.

On a positive note, it has been a while since my back has been this bad and required any treatments. This has been a very nice break. But at least I am not seeing my oncologist.

Hobbling Around

Yes, I do hobble around. Some days more than others. But yes I do hobble. Why do I hobble? Because of my bursitis in both hips, my arthritic feet, my bad knees, my bad back, and more. (Occasionally I have been known to 'hobble' if I was getting dirty looks because I use my handicapped placard.)

However, hobbling along I get to go lots of places, provided I can rest routinely and amply so as not to stress myself out. As I hobble I get to places like the grocery store, the gym, my knitting group, and, of course, doctor appointments (can't have enough of those).

I sometimes even meet friends for coffee or other stationary activities where I do not have to stand around. I plan to visit a museum with friends next month. What makes me happy is they have wheel chairs there and if I start to get tired, a friend can get me one to use while I am there.

But that is my life and I do not have time to stress about being in pain. Furthermore I don't want any pity. Pity causes stress because it makes me feel bad about myself and my state of health.

The Difference With A Good Doctor

This morning I had a wonderful experience having injections in my spine around T8 and T9 where I have a couple of desiccated discs. (Apparently I did something to my back in the previous years - my money is on the time I knocked the wind out of myself in front of the upper ski lodge with a deck full of skiers.) Desiccated discs are common in older adults (70+). Once again I am proving I am less healthy than most people 20 years old than me.

Today my new pain management doctor did the procedure. He was nice and talked to me first. Then he asked me during the procedure if I could feel anything and he would add more pain meds. He asked me how I was doing. He told me if I felt pressure, he would add more pain meds. Afterwards he told me it would take a few days for I to feel any improvement. And he repeated his instructions to me about changing my other medication levels.

What a difference.

My old pain management doctor never asked how I was doing. He never offered to give me more pain meds while doing injections. He would shove in the pain meds and they would BURN! Then he would push in the steroids which would cause a lot of pressure in the area. And he never talked to me about anything else.

I am very impressed with my new pain management doctor. This really show the difference between a good doctor and a bad doctor.

• A good doctor asks how you are doing during procedures
• A good doctor talks to his patients to make sure they are doing okay.
• A good doctor is concerned if his patient is uncomfortable.

When you find a good doctor, keep them.

Yes I Do Have Back Pain In The Middle of My Back

Yesterday I went back to my pain management nurse practitioner yesterday. I felt like it was pulling teeth to get her to admit that there might be an additional source of pain in the thoracic area if my spine (that's the middle part - lumbar is the lower part, cervical is the upper part including your neck).

She saw my x-rays which my rheumatologist pointed out to me as showing possible sources of pain. She didn't think they could be causing that much pain. She did push on my back to see if it hurt (how thoughtful of her). She nearly pushed me across the room as she pressed on my spine. Yes it hurt. A lot.

Finally she agreed to recommend that I have an MRI on my spine to see if anything had changed in nearly 8 years. Its about time.

I keep saying I get new areas of pain and pain management seems to want to prescribe medication to me and give me injections. They never seem to want to look at the areas that might be causing pain. Whenever I say there is new pain, I get these responses "its your fibromyalgia in that area", "its referred pain from this other pain", "there isn't pain in that area".

I think that there is new pain obviously and finally they are going to look at what is going on in my back. At first the nurse practitioner wanted me to come back and see her after the MRI, but then she said I should see the doctor himself and see if he can do trigger point injections there to resolve the pain.

So now I have the date for my MRI (after Thanksgiving), do I want to call my pain management doctor or do I want to try a different pain management doctor to look at the results? A dilemma for sure.

In the meantime, I am sitting down because my back is hurting a lot in the middle where I have been telling them about.

A Long Day At Doctors

After all my traveling, I realized that my body was not being very cooperative. I have increased knee pain (in the new bad knee, as opposed to the old bad knee), I have new back pain higher up than previously (it came and went for a few years but is not more there than not), and my neck and right shoulder have been giving me lots of problems.

So after waiting around for a few weeks, it became time for all my appointments. I had three different medical appointments, in two different facilities 30 minutes apart, yesterday. I started at physical therapy about my neck and shoulder. After speaking to the therapist, he did some stretching on my neck and gave me a  whole bunch of exercises. I will go back and see him twice a week for the next six to eight weeks. And its not that convenient a location.

Next I saw the nurse practitioner of my pain management doctor. She talked to me and pressed all sorts of painful places on my body. She upped my medications and sent me for x-rays. I am supposed to go see her again in three week to see where we are and see if I need an MRI or other imaging. I haven't had a spine MRI since around January 2009 and the question will be if my insurance will pay for it, if I really need it. 

I am kind of fed up with this doctor. He has said to me that even though he has been treating me for nearly 7 years, he does not think there is a need for any new imaging. Any new pains are only caused by my existing conditions. If I don't get anywhere with this NP and doctor this one last time, I will probably find a new one. A friend of mine also saw him for  years and then went to a back surgeon who told her she should have had surgery a long time before. This does nothing to my comfort level with him..

Then I went to X-ray for five pictures of my knee, four pictures of my thoracic spine, and three pictures of my lumbar spine. That was lots of fun. I am not good with the contortions required for some x-rays.

Finally I saw my orthopedic surgeon. My knee was back to its throbbing at night that I had experienced last winter and spring before he injected my knee. I hoped for a new injection which is what I got. But it made my knee really sore and I hobbled out to my car. I went home and took a 2.5 hour nap. I think I was a little tired.

Overall it was a good day, just very long for me. I am not sure I am up for a long day like that again. 

This is just a bit of my life with millions of doctors. At least I didn't see any oncologists. That part makes me happy.

My Achy, Achy Back

My back has been very uncooperative recently. Actually its been a real pain, or in a lot of pain. I went to my pain management doctor a while back and he said that my back has been so bad because I haven't had any interventional treatments (a/k/a needles in my back) in a while and its time for another one. That is due for this Thursday.

But in the meantime, my back is giving me lots of grief (to put it nicely). Yesterday and Friday I was walking around hunched over in pain most of the time. My husband even cooked dinner because I was in so much pain.

Last night, I got in bed before 8 PM and took a breakthrough pain pill, an arthritis Tylenol, and a sleeping pill. I didn't wake up until 8 AM and my back feels better.... but not that great. I expect it to act up later today but I am happy with a few mostly pain free hours for now.

I do not expect a massive decrease in pain after Thursday's medical misadventure, but I do expect some improvement. And future needles in my back to help with this.

How Much Pain?

Yesterday I found a stupid list of a series of doctor office signs. Of course I had to read it because the first one caught my eye, and share it on Facebook (because I have nothing better to do).

Last night we went out to dinner. For some reason the kitchen was backed up and we were sitting in uncomfortable chairs for 45 long minutes between when our appetizer and salads were finished and our entrees arrived. During that time, my back started hurting to the extent that I could barely walk.

Basically it felt like I had stepped on a Lego.... That was stabbing me in the back. The next time you step on a Lego, pretend that is going into your back and you will begin to get the idea of how bad my back is. If you have never stepped on a Lego, go buy some and walk on it barefoot to get a comparison. (Are there people out there who have never stepped on a Lego?)

Personally I believe this is a much better scale than the basic 1-10. Who can define what is a ten pain? That little frowny face doesn't quite do it for me. Nor do some of the others I have seen. I know I have blogged about this pain scale thing before but I am too lazy to find them (because my back hurt so I didn't sleep that well). (I have rights too!)

I have a goal today. I will take my nieces and nephews to the beach so I can float around so my back will hurt less. And I will take my good drugs.... with a Tylenol Arthritis (an amazing OTC) to help get it back in line.

Sooner or later, I will be able to pry the piece of Lego out of my back.

In The Grand Scheme Of Things

Yesterday I was disappointed about my weight. Today I am in so much pain, I really do not care how much I weigh. I want the pain to go away. It will take some time.

I had too much fun being a normal person yesterday. I went shopping - consignment store, yarn store, fish market, and grocery store. Then I came home and lay down for an hour and then I made dinner which meant I stood for another hour. After dinner, my brother had to help me upstairs because I was in so much pain. Now after almost 12 hours in bed, my back is better but not much. I will spend a lot of time lying down today. DAMN! I think I would feel better if I could get to the beach....

In the grand scheme of things, being fat is not an overwhelming problem in my life. I was just reading on FB that a friend is now celebrating two years of being cancer free because she had a recurrence. That is more of a problem than being fat. If you think about it: would you rather be fat and healthish or skinny and have cancer? Not a hard decision.

Losing weight would help me be healthier in some ways. Less body weight equals lower blood pressure, healthier organs, yada, yada, yada. But I can't get up and move more to do that. I will try to be healthier. But I have to stop being in pain first.

And before you ask, I have been taking my pain meds - a combination of prescription and OTC and I am on a weekly pain patch. This is not an unusual occurrence in my life so I have what I need to help stop the pain. If I went to my doctor they would tell me I was doing all I can.

But I Can't Sleep

I'm exhausted. We went away for the weekend and I needed more sleep. I always need more sleep. The only time I get enough sleep is when I can take a sleeping pill and it actually decides to work.

But I haven't been able to sleep. My back is killing me. This has been two nights now. Crankiness may be showing up soon.

My husband informed me this morning I need to stop going to bed so early so I don't wake up so early. I go to bed early because I am exhausted. Then my back hurts and I wake up. Even if I take my pain pills. This is very aggravating.

I'll have to wait for my next pain management doctor appointment to talk about this. But I'm might need to make that appointment sooner instead of later.

Wednesdays Are Killing Me! (Or Having Shrinking Activity Limits...)

Yesterday I had big ambitions. I did go to the gym and the grocery store for both our house and my parents. When I go grocery shopping, I shop for both houses and then deliver my parent's groceries to them and bring them to their kitchen where they put them away. (Some how their tangerines ended up at our house this week - I will return them tomorrow.)

Then I came home took a shower and took advantage of the nice weather to lounge around on the deck while I had lunch. I later attacked the brambles but it was a short battle as my back started to hurt so I switched to knitting in front of the TV.

When my husband came home he said he was going for a walk so I went with him for part of it - 10 minutes-ish. I started cooking dinner which evidently was a mistake because at that point my back hurt so much I was having problems standing. I gave up after dinner and went to bed.

Last Wednesday I had similar problems. I went to my therapist, the gym, the grocery store for both houses, my therapist and came home exhausted. I think that's all I did. I don't remember.

The only similarity with the two days are the grocery and the gym on the same day.

The problem is since we moved I now live 20+ minutes away from the gym which is a mile or so away and my parents live on the way back home from there so I combine the trips. Logical? Yes. Within my abilities? I assumed so but I may be wrong.

Next week I will change my Wednesday. I will only go to the gym and the grocery store. I will not do anything else except reading, knitting, watching TV or any other lazy activity. The only other item on my calendar is the cleaning lady is coming. I will make a point to plan of no other exertion for the day.

Yes this is my life these days. My health is impacting my abilities to do things. I really wanted to go walk on the beach this weekend - this means walking along the shoreline a bit. Sitting down to enjoy the view. I used to go and walk for a good hour or more but can't any more. Then we go get clams for lunch.

My husband pointed out (I hate it when he's right) that I can't go to the beach, make dinner for a friend who is coming to spend the night and hang out with her. It would be too much for me and I would be crabby and to tired to have fun. So that is postponed until next weekend so that I can enjoy myself.

In the meantime, when I look at my calendar and try to schedule things, one item a day is all. One of my doctors just tweaked one of my prescriptions and I hope that will help.

When your body lets you down

It happens to all of us - you reach for something and your back twinges, you get a bad cold, or whatever, they are part of life. But then sometimes your body really lets you down.

This became very clear to me one day when I was skiing about ten years ago. I was having a wonderful time and then I fell on one run. I thought I was fine but some man stopped and said he friend had gone for the ski patrol. I thought he was crazy but since he insisted on waiting with me, he could help me untangle my skis. Then when I put weight on my knee it bent side ways and I knew he was right. I ended up with a torn meniscus and a partially torn ACL which meant knee surgery and the beginnings of knee problems.

My body has since let me down in other ways. I seem to have collected ailments that won't go away. Tennis elbow, lymphedema, bad back, rheumatoid, fibromyalgia, and that cancer crap. They just keep piling up. Yesterday afternoon I got very frustrated with myself. I try to be a normal person and then my body protests.

Sometimes I feel I should be in a geriatric ward some place with all my aches and pains. But then I try to tell myself that I got through cancer twice so I can cope through all this. But its the continued emotional spiral of coping with aches, pains and scars that is difficult.

I haven't been getting enough rest recently. Nor enough sleep. This makes it harder for me to physically and emotionally deal with life. And since we are at the worst part of the chaos of putting our house on the market (which means I will take our toaster oven with us today so it will not be in the way while they take pictures of the house). I will bring it back tonight so we can have toast in the morning and then take it with us again as they show the house. This is on top of the list of everything else I have to do today to make the house picture perfect.

My biggest problem is with everything I cannot do. I can't carry stuff around (one of my doctors told me that I cannot pick up everything after I told him we were moving). I have to wait for my husband to be home to carry stuff around for me. I get stuck and have to wait for help so often. My body is failing me too soon. And it drags me down and I constantly have to fight back.

Okay, enough whininess this morning. I will go back to being positive.

Lymphedema sleeve and all

Yesterday I had a (not so fun) back procedure. As my arm has been acting up, I wore my lymphedema sleeve on my left arm. I am going to the lymphedema clinic in another week or so and will keep wearing my sleeve.

But I digress. I got there and got checked in and changed into a lovely hospital gown and robe - they make them ugly so people don't steal them. The nurse took my vitals after getting me settled in a big comfy chair. Even though I was wearing my sleeve she asked if she could use my left arm for blood pressure. Really? But she did put the IV into my right arm without questions

Then when I got positioned on the table with my back (and the bright red underwear I wore on purpose) exposed for the procedure, they needed to hook up heart electrodes on my chest as well as oxygen in my nose, and blood pressure, O2 sensor, and start the IV on my left arm. A student nurse asked if all three could be done on one arm and the other nurse said yes.

The procedure went well. It should help with my back issues. It was painful to have but it should really be beneficial once it heals up. Before it, I could barely stand for ten minutes before my back started to hurt. This morning, I slept late and it didn't hurt at all until I walked downstairs to feed the cat.

I have a love-hate relationship with my sleeves. I really dislike wearing them all the time. It will start to annoy me when either the little silicone disks cause a rash on my arm or I start to get a tan line on my wrist. (Both have happened in the past.) In addition, its a reminder about cancer - sort of like wearing your heart on your sleeve, you wear a sleeve for your cancer.

My back is winning currently

I look at the current weather forecast. Another 14-20"+ of snow is forecasted for us between now and tomorrow night. And another storm on Friday and the high temperature on Saturday will be 9 above.

In addition my back is being very bad and is currently winning in the pain battle. I am having problems standing for more than 30 minutes at a time. If I am walking, I can stretch it out a bit. I just need to sit down regularly. It can also complicate things like cooking dinner and doing laundry.

I have a radiofrequency ablation scheduled for my back on April 2. I called Friday and asked to be put on the cancellation list for something sooner because my back is so bad. This is worse than its been for a long time.

The problem is I need a procedure which requires sedation and they only do a set number each day they do procedures - which is twice a week. This is why there is such a long wait. And I already had a delay last fall when my insurance company didn't approve the same procedure on my right SI joint so I have essentially been waiting since August for this.

I am feeling stuck inside. I am going to try to go to the gym. My  husband is out shoveling snow and I am doing him a favor by taking the car out so he can clear out the snow and move the other car around.

While I am working out I also run into the problem of standing and working out. I have to sit down periodically so my back stops hurting. 

So I am whining as my back is winning.

But its not cancer so I just suck it up and keep on going.

A day in bed?

So maybe I did a bit too much this weekend. I had a table at a craft show on Saturday where I had to bring my stuff in from my car, up five steps and down a long hall. Then set up everything, stand for six hours, break everything down, and get it back out to my car with the help from a nice gentleman from the church.

Then on Sunday, I had a private craft show at home (if you didn't get your invitation it means I don't really know you) which entailed me getting up at 430 am and cleaning the kitchen, rearranging furniture with help from my husband, moving boxes around and getting comments from my husband that I should stop doing that before I made my back hurt, making mulled wine and tasting it to improve it and mostly being on my feet all afternoon.

Today I decided it would not be a good day for me to go to work - since its now 915am and I am still in bed. I promise I will get to the gym and the grocery store today. But I have between now and 5pm to get that done.

My feet hurt. My back hurts. I am tired. But I had fun both days. And tomorrow there will be some big rain storm and I will drive on the highway to get to work with a bunch of idiots in zero visibility.

Just because I am as healthy as a horse (on the way to the glue factory), having fun two days in a row, requires me to take it easy for at least a day after. Such is life. I am still here and that's what is really important.

Yes you may call me crazy

So what things are bad for my dilapidated body? Standing, lifting, spending long periods of time walking around, etc.

And what have I done? Back in 2007 during chemo, a friend told me I needed a hobby so I relearned how to knit and crochet. Voila, I became addicted and have a giant yarn stash. So I started selling my scarves and such at local craft shows.

I started in 2012 with one show, last year with 5 or so, this year I think I have 8. Or maybe its 9. In addition to knitting, I have started making hair pieces and clips reusing old clip on earrings. (I hope someone likes them besides me.)

What am I thinking? My back hurts this morning already before I am leaving. I will be standing on a hard floor all day, after bending, lifting, and carrying for a couple hours. I am sure I will be in 'perfect' condition by the end of the show.

And then I need to stop by the outlet mall and buy a pair of new sneakers. (Another non-friendly back activity).

Tomorrow, it will be a repeat. Except this show will be 15 minutes from home instead of 45 minutes.

Monday I will do a lot of sitting around and taking pain meds and icing my back.

All of this is self inflicted so you may feel free to call me crazy.

But craft shows allow me to have a creative outlet who's benefits have been researched and noted - knitting can be as beneficial as meditating - and raise a little cash to buy more yarn. And knit more.

Better than a sharp stick in the eye

Or whatever that saying is. This morning I am off to another medical adventure. I love these medical adventures that involve needles first thing in the morning. Well its not first thing first thing. I get breakfast first after sleeping in a little bit.

The reason I am having this is because I have a bony growth on my neck between C4 and C5. As a result I have a pain in my neck and problems with my shoulders and top half of my arms. It lines up exactly with this picture below.

I don't have pain in my arms and shoulders but they don't seem to work always and are uncomfortable. So after discovering this new issue which is life long, not curable by surgery, but only treatable for the symptoms. So I am off to have this wonderful procedure this morning.

I can't wait. It sounds like so much fun.I even watched the video after convincing myself it was okay. But then I'll lie around and be justifiably lazy for the rest of the day.

A Crazy Day

This morning I am up early and need to get out the door in the next ten minutes (but of course I stop to blog first). I am volunteering at the annual New England Direct Marketing Association's conference where I take care of the vendors and  help get them organized. Everyone else there hates dealing with the vendors because they ask so many questions but I have fun with it. But it will be a long day. Within an hour, I will be trying not to move tables around or climb under them to local  plugs.

My question is how many more years I can keep doing this. For people with a bad back and arthritis it is not the most user friendly day. I have been doing this for several years now as my health has gone downhill. So I am not sure how many more years I will be able to help them.

I then have to finish packing to go to a friend's wedding (you know who you are Judie and Anders). My husband has this crazy idea that I will be done packing in time to go out for a leisurely dinner. That's just nuts. I still haven't gotten my medications organized for four days a way...

I have decided that traveling by myself I will suck it up and pay Delta their extra $25 to check a bag, and really hope they don't lose it. So if I am going to check a bag, I can bring a big bag to fit everything in. I have no idea what dress I'll be wearing so I am bring four dresses (three with tags still on so I have the return option) to choose from once I get there. This means several pairs of shoes depending on the dress. You get it. All this equals the giant suitcase. This just another example of me trying to be a normal person... (You know what happens next - crabbiness.)

But I digress. It will be a crazy day today. I have no idea how much time I will have to pack this afternoon and how much my back will hurt but I have to get going. I am due there in fifteen minutes. I'll bring coffee.

Things with a cure

The CDC recently warned of these new germs that are resistant to treatment - the superbugs as they are called. They are out there and killing more and more of us as they resist most treatments. While the pictures of them are pretty cool, the germs themselves are not.

There are other ailments with out a cure. I have a few:

Fibromyalgia
Rheumatoid
Degenerating disks

There are lots of others that I don't have for which I am grateful.

They have treatments to ease the symptoms but not cures. Medical research is needed for these nasty germs and the incurable ailments.

Perhaps I am feeling a little down this morning because when I got out of bed everything hurt. So I am going with plan B - stay in bed until the pain meds kick in. The cat is hanging out with me and the TV is on in the background so I am as comfy as I can get.

But if you don't have these you don't understand. Today I feel like crap. I have plans and will do my best to get through them. But the problem is I know that every day can be like this for the rest of my life. Its pretty damn depressing.

I may sneer at medical studies (because we always need more research) but we really do need the research. There are lots of ailments that do not have cures. And we have these new treatment resistant germs that pop up and kill people. Never mind the bird flus and all the other new ailments.

I think I need a vacation. Oh that's right I am on vacation.... Off to have fun and not be depressing....

A Human Pincushion

My upper back h as been bothering me for a while. I haven't been sure if something new is going on, if it is referred pain from elsewhere in my body, or the pain was hidden by the horrible pain I had in my lower back until the successful procedure where nerves were killed off in my lower back in June.

Last week I broke down due to back pain and called my pain doctor. I thought I wouldn't be able to get an appointment before October because it usually takes that  long. They said 'how about next Tuesday'. I said 'sure'. So I went.

We have never treated my upper back before because it has not been a problem. Its not rheumatoid. Its not cancer metastasis (the first thing that jumps into any cancer patients head). It could be fibromyalgia. It could be myofascial pain. Or it could be something else.

The doctor, after pushing on my back to make it hurt, suggested trigger point injections where he makes a series of intra muscular injections on my back in the painful areas. He has done this before on my lower back and they relieved a fair amount of pain.

There were five measly injections which he said would cause a pinch... and they were followed by deep pressure pain causing me to breath slowly out of my mouth instead of crying.  The nurse came in to check my vitals after (they do that so patients don't pass out as they leave). When I got to my appt, my blood pressure was 123/78. After the injections it was 103/66.

I nixed the trip to Kohls and the trip to the gym after that adventure and came home to sit with my giant ice pack. I gave my husband two choices for dinner - he cooks or takeout. The delivery guy showed up on time with dinner.

So today I feel like a human pincushion. The doctor did say to take it easy for a day or two. I will see how it goes today at work. I am supposed to meet a friend for a walk this afternoon but it may be one of those days where I can't walk. But I hope that when the shots stop hurting, they will make my back stop hurting.

I knew it wouldn't last

What was I thinking? Last week I blogged about privacy and not having a doctor appointment, other than a therapist appointment until October. I should never have opened my mouth. I did have a dentist appointment last week which has resulted in another dentist appointment tomorrow (no cavities).

I broke down yesterday and called my back pain doctor. In spite of the procedure at the end of June, I have discovered I have a lot of pain in my upper back pretty much non stop. I don't know what is going on with my back but it hurts and isn't giving up.

When I called to make the appointment with pain management, I expected to find there ws nothing available for several months - which isn't uncommon with that doctor. When they said next Tuesday at a convenient time, I practically fell off my chair. He usually has a months long wait list. I just got lucky I guess.

Well maybe we can figure out why my stupid back persists in hurting in this most annoying of fashions.