Before you die

Don't go with regrets. The top five regrets of the dying are (according to some survey or another):

1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself instead of what was expected of me
2. I wish I didn't work so hard
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with friends
5. I wish I had let myself be happier

You may or may not agree with them all but the point is don't go with regrets. Its not a bucket list but more ways to be happier.

I think I am doing pretty well with these. I am not sure I will have these regrets but I want to make sure I don't have any regrets. I guess the point is to be happy in your life so you don't have regrets.

A Post on the Olympics

My blog wouldn't be complete with out a post on the Olympics. At this point, I am waiting for the gamesmaker or Professor Dumbledore to show up and a few deatheaters hanging in the shadows.

I have seen all the pictures of the tiny athlete village beds, the athlete stuck first in the bathroom and second in the elevator, and the nasty colored water which I wouldn't want to use to flush the toilet, never mind personal hygiene.

I have sort of followed the events - I simply do not have that much time in my life to watch that many sporting events.  I have watched a few things that I find interesting and rarely seen.

But what I do miss about them, is being able to do many of the sports that they show. I must say I have never been anywhere near as good as any Olympian or other professional but I could  hold my own for many of them.

I have cross country skied, I have down hill skied, I have even run the gates a few times in slalom and giant slalom. I did like to ski the moguls but was not into losing contact with the snow for jumping. I used to ice skate and spent many hours in a practice rink. I was in shows but not in competitions. I also used to snow shoe, winter hike and all those things that involved being outside in the snow.

February 1, 2003 was one of the last days I went down hill skiing. I remember the date because the space shuttle crashed and we would learn little details from each other on the chair lift. I had a great day of skiing but my right knee with its partially torn ACL and my then boyfriend now husband both protested the event. I greatly curtailed my down hill adventures after that.

I continued my cross country and snowshoeing through the following years with my boyfriend/husband. A badly sprained ankle three miles into the woods of NH didn't help my body any.

Five years and two weeks ago was my last attempt at significant winter adventures. My husband and I headed to an annual trip outside Lake Placid in the Adirondacks. On the way out of the woods, my back would give me so much pain I was doubled over and had to head back.

Now my adventures are limited to short snow shoe treks from the house. With RA and fibromyalgia and back issues combined with everything else, has turned me into the viewer and not the participant. I have gotten rid of much of my outdoor sports gear as I realize that I should not physically even try any of them due to potential danger to my body and increased risks of falls because of my ailments.

However I wouldn't mind a few deatheaters flitting on through combined with the gamesmaker who could throw in a few twists to make things more interesting. But between pouring rain, fog, and 60 degree temperatures I am not sure the Olympics need anything more.

I'll keep watching. I'm not sure when they even end. I just know they go on and on and on and I can watch them until they end....

Words from an oncologist

A few months ago, an oncologist wrote a "Letter To A Young Smoker From An Oncologist". I found it very touching and meant to blog about it at the time - but chemo brain made me forget. It is a great article to share with someone who smokes and knows they shouldn't. Maybe it will help them quit.

Then the other day I found a sequel to the first letter entitled "This Is My Last Day On Earth" also written by the same oncologist, Dr. Craig Hildreth, MD. This is written from the patients point of view on dying of cancer and the issues that supported them and what they fought to the end.

The patient writes special notes to:

• The oncologist with thanks for the compassion and caring
• The insurnace company with outrage for refusing medicaiton
• The nurses for their care
• The loved ones with regrets
• And finally to himself.

I hope there are lessons here for all.

Ending without regrets

When we get to the end of our lives, I would think we would not want to be filled with "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" but to be able to go peacefully without regrets. Life is to be lived and enjoyed - we should be doing what we want and having an enjoyable life-work balance.

Somebody wrote a book about dying with regrets and someone else blogged about it. So now I get to blog about a blog - how creative. Anyway, here are the five biggest regrets of the dying taken from listening to people in palliative care for years:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

What does this list teach us?

• Take time to stop and smell the roses
• Learn to express our feelings and do what makes us feel good.
• Surround ourselves with people we care about.
• Do what we enjoy.

No one has ever died saying 'I needed to work longer and harder for someone else'. We all need to do things we don't necessarily like but we also need to learn to fit in the things we want. So take a break and do something for yourself every so often. Its all about looking out for yourself.