Taking a mental break

I am traveling this weekend. I went to my college reunion (partly to prove to former classmates that I am not dead yet - but they are concerned about my health and some believe they should protect me safety cones and a rope around me so nothing happens).  Its nice to see them again. We are staying in the dorms and eating in the dining hall just like way back when.

Its also a mental break from the stresses at home. I need a few days away where my health can be ignored while we reminisce.

We had a discussion last night on reasons for happiness. Money isn't important, but more feeling content, enjoying what you do and being able to get a sense of satisfaction from giving back in some way. It was interesting. Money doesn't buy happiness once you can pay for a roof over your head and put food on the table.... just some food for thought this morning.

Shallowness has its place

When dealing with the stress, sometimes we resort to the silly side of life and satire. I mean why not? Its coping as best we can.

Shortly after my diagnosis, I read a great book called "Cancer Made Me A Shallower Person" by Miriam Engelberg. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 and died from it in 2006. When I read her book in late 2007 or early 2008, I think I threw it across the room when I figured out she died. I was mad. I was not ready for sad endings.

In the six plus years since I have often thought of this book and how I should give it a second chance. It was the first graphic novel I read so perhaps that is part of my response to it. Now, I just read this blog post on the New York Times Well section, living with cancer, Living with Cancer: "Chronic not Cured". Now I think it will read it again. I hope the library still has a copy.

Trapped in the breast cancer bubble

I look at my life these days and see breast cancer everywhere. I have a breast cancer blog, I have breast cancer groups on Facebook. I have breast cancer friends - people who I would never have met if not for my diagnosis. I have Google alerts for breast cancer which send me a daily dose of updates in the breast cancer world. I get emails from many organizations and websites on their latest news and fundraising efforts. I have more profiles on different cancer websites than I can remember that I should keep updated. I volunteer for organizations that support different cancer causes.

Am I supposed to embrace this into my life forever? Or am I supposed to ignore it and focus on my other health issues? Or should I ignore them all?

I was told a breast cancer diagnosis took a year out of your life and then it would return to normal. I can't remember which idiot told me that one but it is definitely not true on so many levels. I am in this bubble and trying to figure a way out.

I realize that breast cancer is one of the top killers of women in the US each year. But is it supposed to take over each of us as we are diagnosed and change our lives forever? Yes a cancer diagnosis is a life changing event but should it become the focus of everything else as well?

My world is not painted pink, its painted breast cancer.

Holy moley!

Moles can predict breast cancer risk? So can living under a rock apparently (because of the radon). But seriously it turns out that moles can predict breast cancer risk because they have the same hormonal sensitivities (is that the right word? I don't know but it makes sense to me) as breast cancer. And that is also true for stomach cancer.

The study found that women with more moles had higher levels of estrogen in their blood than women with fewer. And since estrogen fuels many breast cancers, there is a higher risk present. Sounds logical? Okay sure.

So now we can add having moles to the risks of developing breast cancer. We will just have to add this to the list of things we cannot do anything about  such as genetics, having children, age, and family history. There is nothing we can do but be more at risk. How helpful. Not really.

But I will still get annual skin checks for skin cancer.

They could have asked me

Here's a new study (because we always need new studies to keep those researchers busy) on the differing toxicities of chemo regimens given to early stage breast cancer patients. I had the combination known as AC+T which is Adriamycin and Cytoxin for four infusions followed by 12 weekly doses of Taxol. The Taxol was given in twelve separate doses to reduce side effects.

Based on this research, this combination has the highest rate of hospitalizations for patients receiving one of the protocols. Reasons for hospitalizations ranged from neutropenia (low white blood counts), fever, infection, low platelets, dehydration and delirium. I got neutropenia after the second AC infusion and ended up in the hospital for five days on antibiotics. I then had to take preventative antibiotics with the remaining AC infusions.

The study is a retrospective one where they look at the data from patients over a period time. The patients were not screened beforehand so other issues could be factors in their hospitalizations.

But they could have just asked me. I would have told them.

Reunions

I have a significant college reunion coming up this weekend. this is where we will all get together on a small college campus where we spent four memorable years and pretend we are still as young, thin and healthy as we used to be. I think I will get the gold star for the least healthy alumni attending.

I am looking forward to it. It should be interesting. Our graduating class had 209 or something like that. It is not a large school and very much has a sense of community. We are all even staying int he dorms - because its cheap, its fun, and we won't have to drive far away. The hotels are out by the highway, except for maybe one in town.

I am flying out with a friend. Meeting up with another friend after we land. Then driving up to the wilds of Wisconsin where the fun begins. I do plan to hit the campus bar for a beer. When I was there the drinking age was still 18 so it was the most popular and beer filled location on campus. The claim is there is a new foosball table but I will have to see it to believe it. Since we are staying in the dorm which is across the street, I believe I could even have more than one.

My health will make it interesting. I cant stand around and talk with people. I need to sit. I can't stay out late. I need to sleep late and I checked the schedule and there are all sorts of early  morning things on Saturday that I want to be at by 8am. I'll just take it easy as much as I can and drag around my big bag of pills everywhere I go. Yes this is me way back when...

A bit more on cancer costs

I am starting to see the light here on the causes of spiraling cancer drug costs.
Please watch this short (3 minute) video. It provides a few key points.

1. Pharmaceutical manufacturers got a drug approved at a lower retail price and then tripled the amount from $30K/year to $93K/year.
2. Pharmaceutical manufacturers expect the insurance companies to pick up the tabs which really doesn't save any one any more because we get higher insurance rates in return.
3. Pharmaceutical manufacturers have been known to cut the prices of their drugs in response to market pressure
4. Pharmaceutical manufacturers claim that it costs $5 billion to bring a new drug to market. 

Even if it does cost $5 billion to get a new drug to market, at $100K/year it really doesn't take very much time to recoup the costs. 50,000 doses at $100K/year equals $5 billion.

Tell me there aren't 50,000 patients who need these drugs? One example in the video talks about a new drug for leukemia. According to the ACS, there are more than 50,000 new cases of leukemia diagnosed each year. So there must be quite a few of them around who could benefit from the medication.

I think I have it now.