Friday, June 29, 2007
After this surgery, I will have a drain to deal with for about 10 days and then when I go back in for follow up we will find out the next stages for chemo/radiation.
Also, I have to leave the rest of the damn steri strips on until next Tuesday!!!!! Grrr...
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Also, major OMWAH sighting yesterday. Driving slowly in the right lane of 128, yielding to merging traffic - in a brand new bright yellow Ford Mustang convertible! That car belongs in the left lane moving about15 mph over the speed limit.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
The way to play is go to the American Cancer Society website www.cancer.org and select Learn About Cancer/Choose a Cancer Topic. Then pick a type of cancer and see if you can self diagnosis yourself! Who needs a medical degree when you can do it all online! There are a few cancers in there I can safely say I don't have: Male Breast Cancer, Penile Cancer, Prostate Cancer, Childhood Cancers, but there are still many on the list to go through! What a great stress reliever! NOT!
Also I said I recently went to the Marble Museum in VT. Well it turns out I missed the best part of the museum as noted here:
"The Vermont Marble Museum is one of five finalists in the sixth annual contest to be declared as hosting America's Best Restroom.
It's fitting that a museum devoted to the local marble quarrying industry would feature what contest sponsor Cintas, a Cincinnati-based company that supplies and maintains corporate restrooms, calls restrooms "made entirely of marble."
Marble restrooms aren't all that uncommon, but Cintas says it also was impressed with the "bright flowers and lace curtains to soften the smooth lines."
The competition is stiff."I didn't use the bathroom I was there. Now I have to go back. To find out more about this google 'restroom marble museum'.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I am not supposed to pick up anything more than 5 lbs for the next two weeks - that includes the vacuum cleaner, laundry baskets, the cat (14.4 lbs). Hmmm... They did mention something else about no housework for a year but I don't think I can get away with that. Walter is being very good but he needs to workout his stress as well as get some downtime in.
My surgery went well as surgery can. We were there all day (8-445). I had the wire inserted and then injected with blue dye. Then I had to wait around for the dye to circulate and finally went into surgery after 12. The doctor removed one lymph node but said they did look okay but pathology will tell the real story. I am not in much pain and have been sleeping a lot.
I have to take it easy for a few days and NOT stress between now and next Friday when I get the results of everything. Hah! That's easier said than done.
PS I will eat a balanced diet today to make up for my dinner last night.
Monday, June 18, 2007
I think I need more topics to write about besides stress and needles. There must be more here. It will come to me sometime.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
I also made it through the Lahey garage without too many OMWAH sightings and no significant delays other than the one car that managed to block all THREE exit lanes from the garage, chose the left one, no the middle one, then hit the curb....
Now I talk to the nurse again tomorrow. I did speak to someone last Friday who told me they said my surgery was scheduled because of the radiation/biopsy thing. I lost the damn note and can't remember what she said... Now they can't tell me anything because technically the time's aren't scheduled until the day before. Grrrr.....
Friday, June 8, 2007
Maybe all this stress will make me lose some weight.... At least one positive thing.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
On the plus side, one less doctor's apt next week but I still have to stop by the hospital for paperwork. I can look for more OMWAHs in the parking garage.
Anyhow, both of us are more relaxed today, but still freaked out. I have FIVE (count them), five whole days without a Lahey appointment. I almost don't know what to do with my time but I am sure I can find something. This whole thing is just really scary. They say its early, I am young, etc but now as I wait to meet with the doctor again I start to feel like every little ache and pain in my body is related to the cancer and there wont be much they can do.
I have made the decision before I start chemo, I will donate my hair to Locks for Love and then get it cut really short. Poor kitty, he does like to sleep on my hair... He will have to adapt too!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Then I went and met Walter for lunch and my car died... Grrr... If its not one thing. I had it towed and hope it is the starter and not some weird electrical thing. So I'll ride my bike for the rest of today and tomorrow.
I also changed the name of my blog from Caroline's Cancer Blog to Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog as I hope it reflects the true range of my illness.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
She looked at it and said it was fine. Possibly not pus but just some bacitracin from the first biopsy and it was healing fine. Okay. So I panicked a little. Stress causes bad reactions to lots of little things...
Gee whiz I can't wait for another one of these.........
Then we met with the surgeon, radiation oncologist, medical oncologist, and social worker. Apparently the good news is they caught it early, it is small, and is positive for estrogen and progesterone reception which means it should react well to hormone therapy. Also good news is they took off the damn itchy steri strips. Then the bad news. The MRI last week picked up a suspect area that is also located in my left breast which needs a further look so I have another ultrasound and possible needle biopsy tomorrow - which means more DAMN itchy steri strips. If that is positive, I am a candidate for a mastectomy instead of just a lumpectomy. I should know more late this week or early next week. I have since found out that MRIs show false positives - pick up something that isn't really there. I have already had two mammograms and an ultrasound that didn't show this so it is possible that it doesn't exist. Power of positive thinking here. Either way I go back to the surgeon on the 14th for decision time as well
More stress, more waiting. Desserts is stressed backwards - I don't really like dessert that much. What other junk foods spell something related backwards?
Sunday, June 3, 2007
I alternate between thinking its only stage 1 or 2 and that it is stage 4 and there is nothing they can do. This takes me from semi relaxed to sheer panic. Silly me. I can't remember exactly from the ultrasound - did the radiologist say it was 1 cm or 2 cm. I think that is the difference between stage 1 and 2... That I will find out for sure tomorrow. Then the question of has it spread comes into play. Thats when it gets nasty if it has. Right now I could be convinced that every little ache and pain in my body are the result of a giant web of tumors and cancer cells for which there is no cure... I could also be convinced that I have one little tiny cyst that can be removed and nothing further is needed... This yo-yo part is driving me insane.
Now the other hard part is how do I tell people? I am not up to a bunch of get togethers to tell people nor do I want to talk on the phone. Maybe I am not ready but I know I have to start telling. Its another question for tomorrow - how and when to tell people.
I was awake for about 2 hours last night thinking about this. The lack of sleep is not good. I did sleep in a little today. The cat appreciated that but apparently it made his breakfast a little late. He too shall adapt. Walter is being great and very supportive and will go with me on all my doctors visits tomorrow. I want him there for every meeting so he can be as informed as I am.
Okay. The plan for today, after I go for a walk, fold laundry, and mop the kitchen floor (I have been talking about it for two weeks now and it REALLY needs it) is to be proactive and: work out the list of questions for everyone tomorrow and buy Susan Love's Breast Book. Apparently this is the best resource for understanding everything available. Tonight I will try to get more sleep as well before a day at Lahey.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Now what do I do? I don't know how to tell people, I don't know what to say. I have been on the message boards at the Susan Komen Foundation (www.komen.org) where I have learned that evidently this is one of the most stressful times. You know the beginnings of the diagnosis but nothing about what they can do about it.
Our next step is to consult with a surgeon, medical oncologist, radiation oncologist and social worker on Monday, June 4. Hopefully then we will find out more about the stage of my cancer and the treatment. Then perhaps I will be able to communicate better about it.
Is it wimpy of me to put my thoughts into a blog? I am not sure. I would like to talk to everyone about it but it is too soon for me to answer questions as I dont know anything yet and I am not sure I am up to all the calls. I hope to post regularly and invite people to visit my blog.
Right now I can tell you I am scared, stressed, and very upset. Also, my damn steri strips from my biopsy itch like hell and I can't take them off!!!