Saturday, September 3, 2011

Roller coasters

I used to like roller coasters. In fact once I went on a roller coaster vacation where we rode 21 roller coasters in three parks in one week. But the cancer/health roller coaster is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination.
This week I have been riding up and down the health roller coaster. First I feel that I am turning into a hypochondriac with all these doctor appointments. However I feel I have real health issues (but I'm sure all hypochondriacs think the same thing). Monday I went to the back pain doctor and found that I am back to square one with back pain and have to go through the whole sequence of treatments again. And this will repeat periodically through the rest of my life. Gee how wonderful. Then on Tuesday I went to my primary care's office about my shoulder which has gone backwards instead of healing. I think the nurse practitioner thinks I am a whiner or hypochondriac but it does hurt and my biggest concern that its lymphedema shoulder and longer term complications as opposed to just sucking it up and ignoring it. But I don't feel I get that luxury much any more.
Next week I see my dermatologist for my annual skin check. I am not concerned about this. I get my skin checked annually as a well-being kind of thing. I don't have any concerns. Then the following week I see my oncologist. Oncologists always cause the jitters just because they are oncologists. The whole purpose of these two trips is for the doctors to say 'you are fine' and not give me any more follow up visits. Ha, I'm waiting. I know I'll go back to the oncologist in 4-6 months because I am on Femara for another year and a half.
The cancer/health roller coaster is a pain in the neck. Every doctor appointment is another hill. Sometimes its a little bitty one and sometimes its the big 'screamer' with a few twists and turn after. Everyone has a kiddie 'health' roller coaster - the one that has four year olds screaming. But when you add cancer or something else 'nasty' you end up instantly at the new steel roller coaster that has never ending hills and valleys and flips you upside down. And you can't get off.

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