I had my mammogram last week. I don't talk about these ahead of time because I don't feel the need to. If I feel the need to, you can bet my blog will be covered in mammogram information.
But even if I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I am not thinking about it. You can bet I was thinking about it. I was convinced that I had a recurrence and I timed my mammogram (for two days before my annual oncologist appointment). I was sure I had a something.
I had already started putting together a plan in my head on how I was going to handle it, tell people, deal with treatment, talk to my oncologist on Friday about it. I was positive.
I can convince myself I am going to die next week if I really try. Anyone who has gone through a cancer diagnosis can easily convince themselves its back. Face it, there is always that little tiny voice in the back of your head that says you know it has come back. It whispers in your ear while you are sleeping, or trying to sleep, in the middle of the night.
But I am so happy that it was clean, nothing exciting to talk about. I talked with my oncologist about it just to be sure. But in the meantime, I am happy.