Monday, September 11, 2017

Oncology Anxiety

It doesn't matter how many years out it is but a visit to the oncologist always is uncomfortable. Its unsettling. Its alarming. Its distressing. Its ominous. I can't come up with enough words to describe it. And its today.

I had my annual mammogram back in July and then saw my surgeon. Technically, I am supposed to be followed by my breast surgeon for life after treatment ends. But his office was difficult to schedule with so after a few years, I dumped him. I also dumped my rads onc a few years back. She was pretty useless too. She used to tell me things like I should stop working so my husband could support me since I had had cancer. Not good medical advice.

I was originally supposed to see my oncologist after my mammogram but the surgeon took over. I had a momentary cancer freakout last winter and ended up at my surgeon's office. He told me his office would now start following me after my mammograms and had an appointment with his office scheduled for the same day. So my oncologist asked me if I wanted to see her office on a different date - to spread out cancer follow up appropriately.

Anyway, so I get to go see my onc's NP today. I am still on (or back on) femara for another couple of years. So today I am a little unsettled, alarmed, distressed, etc. You never know when you see an oncologist what they might find....

Damn.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Thinking about you today, Caroline. Please keep us posted.

I hate what I call the "medical hamster wheel" too. I absolutely hate it. In fact, I hate it sooo much that when a tumor was found on one ovary and a mass on the other ovary, back in 2009, I told my oncology gynecologist (at my final pre-surgery visit) that if he found cancer, while he had me open during surgery, he'd better get it all because I was NOT going to go through chemo or radiation. He seemed shocked and not just a little miffed at me but I didn't care. I absolutely hate the medical hamster wheel. *sigh* So you have my sympathy regarding your need to walk on it. *hugs*