Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Volunteers and volunteering

Sometimes Walter tells me the word volunteer is a synonym for 'sucker'. Actually it can be. You know you attend a meeting and end up having promised to take on an enormous task without having opened your mouth on the subject. Yes that does happen. However being a volunteer is a good thing. You get to give back a little.

Today and tomorrow I am volunteering and a local marketing organization's annual conference. In addition to herding cats (I mean working with exhibitors), I will also get to attend the event for free and meet other marketing people. So I help the association and I get something out of it in return. That is not a bad volunteer arrangement. The herding cats part can be a little stressful but usually not bad. I did it last year and I think everyone was still friends at the end.

Yesterday I attended my support group and have now volunteered to help the organization put together a program. That I just find to be interesting and I like helping that organization. However I didn't go there to volunteer, I went to be supported. You never know how your day will turn out. That's what makes life interesting some times.

Now I do have a volunteer mystery going on in my garden. This is another type of volunteer. These are plants you plant one year as annuals and they reseed themselves and volunteer to appear another year. But if you can't remember exactly what they looked like (I had a bad case of chemo brain and stress last year) and they aren't exactly where they were last year, how do you tell them apart from weeds. I also was very productive a week or so ago and went out a spread a packet of seeds that was a mixture of annuals and perennials. I am not exactly sure what they look like either and there were 10 different kinds of seeds in the packet. I have weeds, volunteers, and new seedlings all mixed up. I guess I will have to postpone the weeding for a while. (I can tell the Japanese Knotweed from everything else - it is quite evily distinctive!)

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

It just occurred to me...

Tomorrow I see my therapist and then I don't have a doctor appointment for three weeks. What will I do with my time? I just don't know. Its been so long since I have had a gap this long in medical appointments - probably last May, which would be a year ago. (Now that's very depressing!) I will (NOT) miss my trips to the Lahey and I will (NOT) miss my parking lot and parking garage adventures.

Perhaps now will be the time to do other things - like work, get another job, garden, go for walks, eat yummy food... No wait, I can't do that. I am stuck in fat free land. I already do all the other things. I know. Perhaps it is time to get a life? There is a concept. I will have to consider that.

Needless to say, fat free land seems to be doing some of the right things. My gall bladder is on somewhat better terms with the rest of my body. However I really wouldn't mind having toast with butter on it or real salad dressing on my salad. Nothing fancy. Perhaps a tiny bit of cheese? (I am a secret cheese addict. Perhaps I am Gromit's clone or something...) I could live on cheese. Now I am deprived and it is the worst part! Turkey burgers again for dinner and mine will have mustard and lettuce. Walter's will have cheese. I can see Trader Joe's from my kitchen window and they have quite a display of cheese on sale. I know its there and I can't have any!!!

Yesterday I actually worked for nearly nine hours which is probably longer than I meant to but shows that I am getting better since I lasted that long. I hope I can make it through two more long days this week where I am a volunteer at a conference.

Last night our goal was to make a dinner reservation for our anniversary. I called a few restaurants and got an idea of price ranges and menus because I want to make sure I can go to dinner in a nice restaurant but stay in fat free land. One restaurant we selected said they make everything to order and that sounded fine. So I called back to make a reservation and they said 'would you like the regular dining room or the gourmet dining room?' and suggested I go look on the internet at their menus to decide. Now when I first called and asked about menus, don't you think that would have been the right time to say 'we have two menus'. Another rocket scientist in the making. Actually both people I spoke to are clearly rocket scientists, the first one for not telling me about the second menu and the second one for sending an interested customer away - lost the opportunity to make a sale. Maybe I could get a job there answering the phone and not turning people away. But wait, they probably serve cheese...

Monday, April 28, 2008

Off to repel the invaders

After everything else that is going on, I find I have invasive Japanese Knotweed in my garden. This stuff grows 10' tall in one summer and creates massive thickets that force out all other plants. And it has taken up residence in a portion of my garden formerly reserved for annuals. This means war. With all my spare time between jobs and doctor appointments, I shall be out with a vengeance in my garden with chemicals - yes, its the only thing that works against this stuff. Well, at least this is better than focusing on health issues.

Yesterday I was a good person and ate a banana, some fat free yogurt, an omelet made of egg beaters, dry toast with jelly, crackers, shrimp, green beans, and salad. Today so far I feel okay (and it IS early.) Yesterday I felt okay too. Perhaps this is working. But let me tell you it is stretching my creative cooking limits with this fat free stuff. We went out to a diner yesterday for brunch where I had my egg beaters omelet and toast with jelly. I couldn't have anything with cheese, bacon, no hash browns, no butter on my toast, tea to drink so I didn't put cream in my coffee, etc. WWWWAAAHHH!!!

Today I will be good again. But first I have to go for my walk quickly before the rain starts (can I prevent the rain from falling on the Japanese Knotweed so it wont grow?). Then off to work all day with a fat free lunch.

I did realize yesterday that gum drops are a fat free food - as it says on the label - but have resisted the urge to purchase any (so far).

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Message to my body

Hey:

That's it. Stop interfering with my life. I am sick and tired of aches and pains (and tumors and gallstones and rashes and hemangiomas and hernias and.....) interfering with getting out and doing things. It is time to stop, cease and desist. That's it no more. I know you were complaining for a long time about surgery, chemo, and radiation. There have also been lots of tests. But no more. I want to feel better so I can go out and do things.

Thank you.

The Management.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I am being VERY mature about this! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I went to the oncologist yesterday for a follow up. Somethings are good. I am not having a lot of side effects to Tamoxifen. My blood counts are fine, even the ones that are slightly below normal. Hot flashes are not a big deal. But... Of course, there is a 'but' every time I go to a doctor. He said that the abdominal pains I am having could be from two things - heart burn and gall bladder. Gee something else! So now I am taking Prilosec every day for a month. The GI doctor suggested this a month ago but I didn't as I didn't think I was having heart burn issues. And I am on a FAT FREE diet for a week to see if my gall bladder will stop acting up. Grr, grr, grr, grr, grr.

What is a fat free diet you ask? This means none of the following: bacon, cheese, ice cream, red meat, oils, butter, and chocolate. I get to eat things like steamed vegetables with no butter, broiled seafood, salads with balsamic vinegar for dressing, and plain stuff. Breakfast will be fruit and fat free yogurt. Lunch will be vegetables and fruit and some plain chicken or something. Dinner will be boring and blah!!!!! Boring food means a boring life!!!!! WWWAAAAHHHH!!! See how mature I can be about this!

Okay. I can be mature now. I got that out of my system. For now. Until my next boring meal.

Today I will be a mature adult and get my nails done, meet some friends for coffee (and NOT have one of the yummy individual quiches that I usually get for lunch), and then do lots of stuff around the house and some work from home.

Friday, April 25, 2008

An educational experience


Yesterday was an educational experience. I learned lots of things. First I learned that I can still go to the beach and not get sunburned. Not at all! A successful mission. I did get to walk about 4 miles and enjoy the sunshine. I did wade in the water a little. It wasn't bad where the sun had warmed it but was freezing where it was deeper. There were a few children swimming. Obviously, their bodies were numb so that they couldn't feel the cold water. It was very windy as well so the children who weren't swimming were flying kites.

I also learned that it is possible for a single person to use up their entire battery in their digital camera at the same time that they completely fill their memory card. (This means I have to find my other memory cards and charge both batteries ASAP.) I did fill up the card and then found that, just by looking at the little screen on the back of the camera, that approximately 8% of the pictures I took were absolute crap and could be deleted. (When I got home and looked on my computer, I could delete another 10% as well.) Is being in focus that important? Well, apparently it is.

In addition, I found that it is possible for a single person to pick up an entire plastic bag full of trash without even trying. I had brought a bag with me in case I found interesting shells. Unfortunately I found lots of trash. I didn't even have to go chase things down. It was very easy to retrieve a whole bag. I probably could have picked up five bags if I wanted to. Some lady said to me 'are you collecting shells?' 'Um, no. Trash. There's lots of it.' 'Oh.' Just imagine if everyone who went to the beach once a year picked up a bag of trash, how much cleaner things would be????

After my little walk, I needed some fried clams to rejuvenate me. In anticipation of this feast, I had celery sticks on the way to the beach. The clams were quite yummy and completely non nutritional as they were fried. I had a salad for dinner to recover. Walter did make it home on an earlier flight so the cat is now happy again (well I am too).

Today I am VERY busy. I have work to do from home, a phone call for work, a doctor's appointment, a walk with a friend, and a phone interview for another job!!!! Not much. Just a few things. However, keeping me busy, keeps me out of trouble....

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I am done writing

I am done writing my stupid list of pain, food and drink for my doctor. (Did you think I was done writing here? No way, you guys are stuck with me boring you forever I think. Or at least until my little adventure ends). She wanted 2 weeks worth. I did 12 days. That is close enough.

Its a pain in the butt. Trying to write down everytime it starts hurting. Well sometimes that's when I am driving my car, or out for a walk, or just not near a piece of paper and pen. And then at the end of the day I have 10,000 little pieces of paper to decipher and sort out. Yes, I could find a notebook and carry it around with me but I can't even carry around a single piece of paper, much less a notebook. So I give up. They will just have to deal.

Yesterday I got together with a friend and her daughter and we went to Garden in the Woods which promotes cultivation of local plants and flowers. It was a nice day and nice to get together. I was also very productive at home and got lots of work done. Today I need to be productive early so I can go to the beach. Which is most important. (And since I am not writing down my food any more and my cholesterol went down, after walking on the beach, I am going to have fried clams for lunch.)

I will be productive until after rush hour and then I will go. I will also be back before evening rush hour. I will use sunscreen as I have a doctor appointment tomorrow and I think it is probably a bad idea to show up with a sunburn... Doctor's don't usually think sun burns are a good thing. 'Yes doctor, I am a very healthy person. I just like to fry myself in the sun.' No probably won't cut it. I will use sunscreen - SPF 30. (My mother reads this so I have to make sure she knows I take care of myself.)

I did go to the dentist yesterday and my teeth are fine. No cavities. No need for anything additional - just come back in six months for another cleaning. Finally, a positive medical outcome!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Aggravation day!

I think everyone was out to aggravate me yesterday!!! First I tried to order something on line. The stupid website kept giving me an error message - select type of credit card. Well I did. Evidently the website doesn't know what Visa, Mastercard, American Express or Discover cards are. So I had to call in my order and deal with a very intelligent life form a/k/a a customer service rep. It was so much fun.

Then I called my surgeons office about the evaporating follow up appointment. The nurse said to me "I can't reschedule your mammogram so I need to transfer you down to them and you reschedule us and get transferred back up here and then we can reschedule the doctor?" Huh? They have always done this before. Well off I went and spoke to the mammogram rescheduling person, who was different than the mammogram scheduler that I spoke to first. Then she couldn't transfer me on her phone so I had to call back. I get the same rocket scientist again and she said "Let me call you back in five minutes." Fair enough. She did and guess what? She had rescheduled my mammogram and appointment for a date two weeks earlier. She must have learned to reschedule mammograms quite quickly in that five minute interval.

The highlight of my day came when I tried to renew my Norton Antivirus. As I was about to do it I noticed that one subscription covers up to 3 household computers. A little light came on in my tiny brain as I realized that Walter had just renewed his antivirus so I should be covered under his subscription. I tried to contact Symantec. Their website said the customer service phones had a 30 minute wait but I could do live chat right away. Well, I did live chat with a very (and I stress the word very) intelligent life form (from a galaxy far, far, far, far away) for an hour and 45 minutes. They were rather clueless. I had to help them uninstall and reinstall. I got to do laundry, water the garden, and wash dishes while waiting for their (in)ept actions. My blood pressure was just fine when I finished.

After all that fun, I really needed to go shopping - retail therapy at its best - at the local consignment stores and then met a friend for a walk before going to my support group.

But the real news of the day is I got the blood test results back from my doctor. It is possible to eat a diet of bacon, ice cream and gum drops and have your cholesterol and glucose levels go down. Last year my bad cholesterol was 103, this year its 78. My good cholesterol was 57 and this year its 77. So my total cholesterol actually went down 7 points as well. Bring on the bacon and ice cream!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Everyone loves a parade

So two days in a row while out for a walk, I ran into a parade, at their starting point, just before they were about to start. While it does slow down the speed of my walk, it is still enjoyable. The side walks are crowded with people waiting for the parade. The marchers are usually having a good time getting organized. However, we noticed on both days there is always one person with the worst job in the parade. No its not the marching bands, its not the cheerleaders, its not the clowns, its not the vendors. Its the guy with the wheelbarrow and shovel behind the horses!!! Who wants to be him? Yuck!

So yesterday I actually watched the marathon. It was a very close race for the women. The man who won and the wheel chair winners were way out in front and it wasn't very competitive. They also showed Lance Armstrong. The Red Sox won too. I didn't spend the entire day watching TV! I did garden, go for a walk, and do some work. I also spent entirely too much time on my computer self diagnosing my pains... Why not?? I had too much free time.

Today will be different. I have work to do this morning and then I am meeting a friend for a walk and going to my support group. I also have errands to run. It will keep me busy and out of the house - which means far away from my computer.

Monday, April 21, 2008

My Boston Marathon

Today is the Boston Marathon. I must be clear I am not running in it. For a long time, I wasn't really aware it was even taking place. I grew up in Lexington ( as in home of the battle of Lexington and Concord, don't fire unless fired upon, if they mean to have war, let it begin here). When I was a kid, there was a kids parade, we all marched in it. Then there were boring (always to kids) ceremonies. Followed by a pancake breakfast and then an afternoon parade. Sometime in the early 70's they added the battle reenactment. It started in the afternoons. But for crowd control and to make it more authentic they switched it to 6am. (Spectators are very passive at that hour. They don't want to spill their coffee.)

Needless to say, I never paid attention to the fact that there was a race going on as well as a Red Sox game until after college. Since then, I have developed a plan for watching these. I would get up in the morning and go to the parade in Arlington. Then come home in time to watch the marathon on TV. Usually time would be a little tight. In an effort to boost parade attendance, they have now switched the parade to Sunday afternoon so people don't have to choose.

Yesterday we went to see the reenactment in Arlington. British regulars march down Mass Ave and are hassled by minutemen for a few blocks and then there is a big battle, the bloodiest of the day, where 12 patriots are taken prisoner and shot. Then they come back to life, they raise the flag and play the Star Spangled Banner (which wasn't written until the next war). Unfortunately our timing was a little off. We got to where the British regulars were and the first gun battle. As they marched down the road, and stopped to reload, we marched down the road and stopped to watch. (One really smart couple decided to cross the road between the regulars and the minutemen and got yelled at as it was life gunpowder...) Actually it was sort of like being in the battle as it was going on around us. Then we saw the big battle at the end and after it was all over finally met up with the friend we had meant to meet at the beginning.

We contemplated watching the parade but that meant sitting around for an hour and a half so we opted to return home. After some gardening (and minor injury to Walter's head where he got a big gouge from the rhododendron), we quit work for the day and discovered we could watch the parade on TV in the comfort of our own living room and Walter could have a beer to contribute its healing powers to his cut.

Today, this is my marathon. I will work for a bit at home. Then I will turn on the TV around 915. The wheelchairs start at 925, the women at 935, and the men at 10. The first wheelchairs will probably finish around 11 and the elite men will cross around 1205 with the women just before them. I will watch these and make some phone calls and flip over to the Red Sox game, which starts at 11 am (against the Rangers). At approximately 1230pm I will motivate and go for a walk and garden, etc. That is my marathon.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I can be very strong

Yesterday I was quite proud of myself. We went to the grocery store on the way out to dinner. We had a very small list of things to get. We went last night because today is Patriots Day around here and there are battle reenactments and parades and all sorts of traffic inconveniences around. Anyhow, after getting things on our list, I went down the sale aisle. They had GIANT tubs of spiced gum drops ON SALE! I looked and said I need one of these!!! I put it in the cart and got comments like 'how can you even eat those things?' from Walter.

At the self checkout, Walter proceeded to bag everything (after helping the lady in front of us who was holding her baby and trying to do everything one handed - including bag her baby food). I was left at the register end. I scanned everything and put them on the belt. Then I got to the spice drops. I said 'I really don't need these. Besides, this week I am still writing down everything I eat for the doctor so I really shouldn't get these.' I was strong and put them back. I did not purchase them. I am very proud of myself. Will power - way to go!

When I am done writing down everything for the doctor, perhaps I will reward myself with more gum drops. Maybe I'll wait until I go see her next. I did get my updated list of doctor appointments. In the next two months I get to see my oncologist, therapist, GI doctor, have a bone density scan, a mammogram, and see my PCP again. I am also supposed to see the surgeon after the mammogram but some how that one is now written in invisible ink and is not listed. I will have to call tomorrow to find out what happened. The mysterious disappearing doctor appointment. Once again designed to confuse patients.

I was also very strong yesterday. We climbed a mountain. Today I am rather tired. There is a chance I possibly over did it a tiny bit. I am not sure. I will take it easy today. Well mostly. I have gardening stuff to do. And some laundry. And some cleaning. And a few errands. And I want to go for a walk. And maybe see the parade and the reenactment. And I think there's more but I cant remember.

Another thing I did do right yesterday was not get a sunburn. This year in particular I have to worry about sun burns. You are more sensitive after radiation to sun. Particularly where radiated 'or crisped'. For me that should be hidden under clothing as a rule unless I am in a bathing suit (or at a nudist colony but my body is too flabby for that). However the real issue with sun burn is that damn lymphadema thing (which is a permanent problem....). Since they took out lymph nodes (remember I wrote about that last summer), they compromised the lymph system which is your body's drainage system in my upper left quadrant. (Your lymph system has four quadrants and is in your skin pretty much or just under it). I have to forever be worried about damaging the skin in that quadrant. This includes cuts, burns, etc. Which includes sun burns. Which is a pain in the butt. I mean when I drive in the summer time with the window open and my arm hanging out. What if I get a sun burn. Grr, grr, grr! Today more sunscreen. And no gum drops.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Grow damnit!


I mean my hair and my garden but not my waist line! Finally yesterday I got outside and did some weeding and gardening. Voila! my little purple (well more like fuschia) tulips started blooming all over the place. Were they happier because I weeded around them or was it finally just time for them to bloom? One of life's little mysteries. Also the chinodoxia is blooming and the hyacinths look like they are almost ready.

It is very sad news that I have to report. I have learned that, my ultimate favorite food - which is totally non-healthy - fried clams are available in walking distance from our house. Now I have known about this for quite a while but I now have had several references citing the quality of these. As soon as I am done writing down everything I eat and drink for my doctor, I will have to indulge...

As far as my list goes, it is getting quite lengthy. I have considered going on a 'healthy' diet or perhaps 'inadvertently' omitting some items from my list of things I eat and drink before the doctor analyzes them. But what's the point? the point is something isn't right and if it is my eating/drinking habits that cause it, well, I guess we need to know. However, so far it is pretty clear to me that it doesn't take much to make my pains start. I mean sitting is a good example of something that seems to cause pain.

However, I am not stupid enough to go out and indulge in a plate of fried food at this point. I haven't had ice cream either. Or bacon. I'm suffering greatly. But I did have fried food last night. We had potato skins (no cheese) and I had french fries with my scallops. They were calling me. I am not sure when I last had french fries so I felt compelled to indulge. I did also have a salad and did not have dessert.

Today is actually an exciting day. We are going for a small hike with friends. This will be a test. We haven't been hiking since fall of 2006. We missed the first part of last season because I had bursitis in my hip. Then there was this stupid mammogram/surgery/chemotherapy/radiation delay that interfered with lots of plans. We have a vacation shortly where we want to go hiking so this is a test of my abilities to: 1. climb a mountain, 2. carry a very, very, very, very small pack, and 3. convince Walter that #2 is true and he needs to carry a bigger pack.

Friday, April 18, 2008

They make these things so complicated

So I picked up my prescription of steroid cream yesterday. You would think this isn't hard. Take tube, put it on your skin where you have the rash, and voila you are done. Well no. First of all, because it might irritate my skin (isn't this what we are trying to cure?), I am only supposed to be a dot on each dot. Okay, sort of paint by numbers... I can handle this. But also, my skin is supposed to be wet when I apply it. Then I am supposed to moisturize too. And I am supposed to do this twice a day. So should I start showering twice daily so my skin is wet? Doesn't the action of putting on moisturizer wipe off the ointment?

Finally, you think they could do something with their package design. Over the course of my adventures, I now have received three prescriptions of ointments in tubes. They have totally different uses. As part of trying to prevent prescription confusion, you think they might make the tubes look a little different. I feel like this is packaging from a former Soviet bloc country during the cold war. Or maybe because it is the generic equivalents, that the packaging is so blah. No big drug company revenues to design something that looks different than the others.

Enough whining for today. Well, I am sure I can come up with more whining but it is much more beneficial when there is someone home to whine to. The cat just doesn't care as long as his food dish is full. I just opened the window in my office and I think I just made his day. Not only can he see stuff, he can hear the birds and smell the squirrels he wants to catch.

To prevent future charley horses, yesterday I bought two yellow bananas (and promptly ate one) and five green ones. I also drank lots of water. I even remembered to take my vitamins. No charley horses last night!

So I started my big complicated list of everything I eat and drink and when I get pains. That is getting so complicated. I have decided to narrow it down. Every time I eat or drink something I write it down. Then I also write down significant pains as opposed to the ongoing ones that I had learned to ignore. Now my list is shorter each day than before.

Otherwise, today is going to be a good day. I get to work at home. Which I will do until it warms up to the mid-70s that are promised. Then I will quit work (one of the perks from working at home) and go for a walk and garden. Then we are going out to dinner. See - minor return of the social life. My flowers are starting to bloom. Perhaps I will take more pictures today of them.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I am an enigma

The dermatologist doesn't know what my rash is either. Her exact words were 'you are an enigma'. Great! And that means? Well apparently it means she wants me to try a prescription steroid cream on each of the little dots for no more than 2-3 weeks on each dot and then if I still have it in four weeks (actually five weeks because we will be on vacation) to come back and she will biopsy it. Score: rash - 4; doctors - 0. I will go pick up my prescription and see what happens. She did think it was more related to an eczema or psoriasis (damn I have to have things that are easier to spell!) than to that rare form of breast cancer they keep muttering about. But that it doesn't really look like either of those either. Grr, grr, grr... Don't mind me, I'll just be the ever so patient patient and wait around for a few more weeks.

What is the only thing worse than getting a charley horse in the middle of the night when you are sleeping? Getting two charley horses - one in each leg!!!! Maybe my body is trying to tell me to eat more bananas. I ran out a few days ago and have been eating oranges instead. I will go buy some bananas this morning!

Today is another wonderful spring day. The sun is shining. Its already up to the mid-30's (believe me that's a heat wave around here) but its heading for 70. I will work at home for a bit, go for my walk, get my bananas and prescription, and then go to work for the afternoon. Maybe my damn garden will actually start flowering for real!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Money down the drain

So that was money down the drain. I took the subway to my interview in Boston yesterday. I stuck six quarters in my pocket in case my subway card didn't have enough money for bus fare on it. I made it into town and stopped to use the ladies room. After 'doing my business' I stood up and the quarters fell out of my pocket and into the toilet, then automatic flush went. Voila! Six quarters down the drain! Nothing I could possibly do. Its only money.

My job interview did go okay. Not great. I have no idea. Actually I don't think I got it. I will find out soon. Oh, well, there are more jobs out there. Let's see - we have the cancer roller coaster ride and we have the job hunting roller coaster ride. Then we can ride them together and really go nuts. Up, down, up, down, yuck! And then there is the general when will I feel better mode because I have been on this roller coaster too damn long!

It was nice to get into Boston again. I don't think I have been into the city on the subway for more than a year.

Today, I was slightly over scheduled but once again have the case of the sick doctor so I have a little leeway in my schedule. I was supposed to go to my therapist this morning and was going to combine it with my fasting blood test. They already called and canceled my therapist appointment but since I have not had breakfast I might as well still go to the blood lab. But my question is can I go to the blood lab at the other office of the hospital so I don't have to deal with the OMWAH filled parking garage that costs money and its closer? I have to call and find out. I can be much more productive that way. Later this afternoon I will go see a dermatologist about my mystery rash and then go to work. I really need to work at home for a few hours as well. I also want to get out for a walk. My life is so complicated.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Its all in the details

So the doctor wants me to right down every time I eat or drink something and every time I have abdominal pains and what I am doing. She wants me to do this for two weeks. I started Friday and have been relatively good about writing stuff down. Sometimes I forget but I don't make it up. I am just going to tell her, I tried but couldn't write everything down. I think I have become good about ignoring the pains and have been trying to pay attention more to them but sometimes I just revert to my ignore mode.

I think I will have a major epistle by the end of two weeks. I am already up to four full pages (typed in a table on my computer). I am not sure she knew what she was getting into. (7:40 am, dull ache right side while sitting at computer - I am just sitting here and it starts.) Unfortunately I will also get an evaluation on my eating habits. I do eat fruit for breakfast and then some toast. I try to be healthy at lunch and dinner always starts with a salad. However I did have a bag of gum drops that I didn't finish until Saturday and last night we broke into the last bag of dark chocolate M&Ms. I will avoid bacon and ice cream for the duration as well. If my eating habits are going to be put under the microscope, I might as well try to be good. But Sunday night we went out for pizza, so guess what I had for breakfast yesterday - cold pizza. It was quite yummy but probably not what the doctor thinks I should eat.

Now here's a question: if I am supposed to write down everything I eat and drink, I write down just when I start eating or drinking. For example, I get a glass of water at 5pm and it takes me an hour to drink it so I just right down 5pm. If I get a cup of coffee at 7am, I write down 7am, but it might take me two hours to get around to drinking all of it (yes, cold coffee, that's another story). So, therefore, I write down when a pain starts and not how long it lasts. That would be way too complicated I think. More than my tiny chemo brain can handle. Its bad enough I walk around with notes stuck in my pockets all the time now. I have my handy little note pad that Lahey Clinic sent me to use to write everything down that I carry around with me...

Yesterday I did get out for my pizza recovery walk and then went to work. Today I am going to go for a walk and work at home. Then I have a job interview in Boston for a very interesting job. Communications work for a financial services company, part time and I could work from home most of the time. I am very excited. But I do need to iron some clothes to wear... I hate ironing but job interviews and wrinkles don't exactly go together.

Monday, April 14, 2008

I had a fun day!

Yes, I had a fun day. I haven't had a fun day in a long time. Actually I had two fun days in a row. But yesterday I drove up to Salem NH and met some women I had met in an online breast cancer board.


From left to right, me, Norma Jean, Bunkys Mom a/k/a Betsy, Shirley, and Cindy D. We had a great time. I have more pictures to email around as well. It was nice to really meet people that I had only 'met' online and who have been through some of the same things as me. It was a lot of fun.

Later on, I was in a trivia contest. It was a local fundraiser to help the town schools. We wore our feather boas and tied for third place in the first round but didn't place in the final round. However, we had a good time. Lots of local trivia I didn't know (name the seven historic districts in town) and MATH questions! If you have four shapes with an equal perimeter, which one has the greatest area: square, circle, octagon, ellipse??? Silly me, it was circle. I thought it was a trick question and guessed all the same... Do you know what ZIP as in ZIP code stands for? Zoning Improvement Plan... Well, we didn't get that one either.

Funny, after being out all day I was tired. We went out for pizza. The restaurant with the yummy rolls won the choice. The first place had a thirty minute wait, the second place had a 15 minute wait and the third place also had a 15 minute wait but would let us put our name in ahead of time so when we got there, we got seated immediately. To counteract our healthy pizzas we had a salad first. Very yummy. Today we return to healthy eating. And I will take a BIG walk to counteract the pizza consumption.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

Look what I got in the mail yesterday! Obviously some records are not kept up to date...
As Walter reminded me, they already have lots of images of me on file. And I already have a mammogram scheduled for June 13. There must be some little file that kicks in and says 'this person had a mammogram a year ago so we need to send them a letter about coming back for another'. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. blah, blah. Well, I think I have this covered at this point.

Otherwise, yesterday was relatively fun. I got together with friend for a birthday lunch and walk and did some work from home. Today I am off to meet some people I have met on line through the breast cancer message boards which is exciting. These are women who are also diagnosed and undergoing or just through treatment who live in MA or NH. We are going to meet at a mall food court. I hope we end up getting together more than once. Then, because I over scheduled myself, I have to zip back home as I will be in a trivia contest as part of a fund raising event for local schools at the town hall. To recover, we then get pizza for dinner. We still haven't decided which choice...

At least my days are somewhat more interesting than they were a few months ago. But first of all, off for a walk to enjoy the nice spring weather - FINALLY!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

List vs. list

I am sure I amazed my doctor so much with my lists, that she asked me to make another one. She wants me to write down everything I eat for the next two weeks (my oh-so-healthy eating habits will be unveiled) and every time I get a pain in my side. This is going to be quite a list. I started it while waiting for my 'forwarding' instructions. (I am rather surprised how often I get the pains. They do not seem to correlate to eating anything. For example, I am sitting here at my computer, and I get a pain. Grr...) In addition, she wants me to see a dermatologist for my rash instead of waiting, get a bone density scan, and have a fasting blood test. I did have a chest x-ray as well. I also have to go back to see her in 8 weeks as a follow up. I knew I wasn't going to get out of more visits to Lahey. It is becoming my home away from home. My next scheduled visit on Wednesday will be my 50th visit this year. I think I should get a frequent parking discount at the parking garage.

Incidentally, there were no significant sightings yesterday in the parking garage but on the way there I did see one highly skilled driver. I am not sure he understands that it is possible to make a right turn without crossing the double yellow line.

Actually, yesterday turned into a very busy day. After my enjoyable hour and a half at Lahey, which actually wasn't too bad, I ran a million errands, did some work from home, met a friend for a walk, went to the library, and got my nails done (in a suitable lady like color - no more screaming orange - for my upcoming job interview). Yep, I have an interview for a real job on Tuesday. Part time but they will pay me what I want. I am very excited. If it pans out, then I would only go in to the office one day a week and the rest would be work from home. I would also have enough money to not feel poor all the time. It also means I need to put some more organization into my office. Pile management only works so well and the cat doesn't understand he can't walk on them...

Lahey was very deceptive by the way. I brought my book for insurance against a long wait and it worked. I waited maybe five minutes for the doctor. Then when I went to x-ray, their sign was up that said 'currently the wait for a diagnostic x-ray is 30 minutes'. I thought - well at least I brought my book. However, I don't think they can tell time in x-ray. I sat down, read one page of my book, and they called my name. I was out in five minutes after my arrival.

My big purchase yesterday was 'composted manure'. Better than buying organic compost - at $8/bag, I found crates of composted manure for $5 each. I now am the proud owner of two crates of poop, for lack of a better term. I will put one in the gardens in the upper level in the front and one in the gardens in the lower level in the back. All it has to do is stop raining so I can get to work. Voila. No more big math problem!

Friday, April 11, 2008

I did it!

I got organized. I made my little (or not so little) lists and printed them out and put them... er... somewhere around here... I will have to find them. Or I can kill more trees and just print them again. I hate it when I do this. Spaceshotitis! Well, I don't have to leave for an hour. That gives me plenty of time to find/reprint them, take a shower, get dressed, make a shopping list for the farm stand, and waste time on the internet. Wait, no I only have an hour and I have to get all that done including waste time on the internet? I can waste hours on the internet without doing anything else. Perhaps I should motivate. No, I only have a doctor's appointment. I can procrastinate for a bit and then end up running from the parking garage so my blood pressure is at a nice elevated level when they check it.

Actually, today I don't work but have a big list of things to do: doctor appointment, farm stand, Trader Joe's, library, bank, walk with a friend, manicure, wrap a birthday present, and ... I can't remember the rest. Oh, follow up with two jobs and find out when I am volunteering for an upcoming conference! I may not have time to spend on the internet - WAH!

I also have a busy weekend planned. I am going to celebrate a friends birthday tomorrow and then on Sunday I am meeting some women who also are breast cancer survivors. Then I am in a trivia contest here in town to help fund raise for the local schools. Also, we are going out to dinner one night. We have decided Walter will have his weigh in this weekend and I have my check up today. Then we get to go out for pizza to celebrate and undo all the good eating we have been doing. However we have a dilemma. Do we go to one local pizza place which has very good pizza and amazing sour dough rolls they serve with real butter or do we go to another chain where the pizza is almost as good but has really good herb topped bread with a garlic/oil/cheese/hot pepper dipping sauce (Bertuccis vs. Not Your Average Joe's if you are a local reading this.) We can't decide. Both have their merits. Both are probably just as bad for you.

I must clarify we do eat healthy as a rule. Breakfast is usually a couple pieces of fruit and maybe some toast. Dinner always starts with a salad. We eat tons of vegetables each week. Walter's lunch always has celery and carrot sticks and an apple or pear. I felt I should clarify that we do not live on bacon, gum drops and ice cream (all the time).

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Trying to get organized

Tomorrow, I go back to my primary care physician for an annual physical - in case I haven't been to the doctor enough in the past year. It was a year ago that my annual physical turned into a mammogram which turned into... well, you know. As I said before, after my annual physical my cholesterol and sugars levels were slightly elevated and I was going to improve my diet to rectify the situation. Well, I don't think I really did. I mean I am trying to eat better, more fruit and vegetables, less processed food, but ice cream, bacon, gum drops (yes, I am weak, I bought more yesterday), etc keep getting in the way.

Since I have had a rather 'eventful' year, I need to be organized for my appointment tomorrow. First I have to make a list of all the lists I need to bring with me. I think this will consist of:
  • Medications currently taking. Last year this was a list of one item. Now we are up to five. There's the thyroid pill, the hormone therapy, the stuff that makes me loopy and is supposed to solve the pains in my side, the stuff so I don't stress, and the antacid for heartburn. (Maybe I need a pill for memory enhancement). Oh, and vitamins - multivitamin, B complex, and calcium supplements. So maybe nine items written down with the dose amounts. No, I can't do math, five plus three is eight. (I am sooooo smart!)
  • Allergies to medications. This used to be only 4 items, now it is also up to five because only I can be allergic to Benadryl - the stuff they give you to prevent allergic reactions.
  • Treatments, 'procedures', results, etc undergone in the past year. My medical file now resembles in size the unedited Oxford English Dictionary. I think a little summary will help here. Also, as I can't remember anything I had to write it down so I figure I might as well bring it to share with the doctor.
  • The all important list of things to ask the doctor about. Currently that has nine items on it, in addition to reviewing my medical history. You know my mystery rash, etc.
There may be more things to add to the list of lists and the individual lists but I can't remember them now. That is why I have written everything down.

Also, even though my appointment is in the morning, I think I will probably end up in the evil Lahey time suck. This is when you see a doctor and they say 'we need some tests'. You then get sent off to X-ray, blood lab, and elsewhere. Each place you have to wait your turn. Sometimes they are quick, but sometimes it can take a while. This is where the book is key. If you bring a book, you are whisked through everything and don't have time to read it. If you don't bring a book you doom yourself to reading old copies of People magazine (and since Charles and Diana did get a divorce, we know all we need to know).

This also means another adventure at the parking garage. Monday was somewhat stressful but the real 'ace' driver I saw was yesterday afternoon. There was a little bitty area of the street dug up - maybe 6' x 6'. This 'highly intelligent life form' decided to make a U-turn while directly across from it. Their U-turn ended up turning into a 9 point turn that blocked both sides of the road - not an important road, just the main road through town. If they had executed their U-turn 6' further or back, they probably would have been successful in one try. Instead, they aimed perfectly and succeeded in blocking the road. Where do these people get their licenses?

Off for my morning walk. Its already 50 degrees. Then work, nothing exciting. (It wouldn't be me if it wasn't boring!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Is it never ending?

Yesterday I actually felt like a real human being for a brief period. I did contemplate cleaning my car and clean the house but that ended very quickly. I did do some minor house cleaning. However its never ending that I still don't feel completely back to my old self. I do think there is hope someday. However my bursitis, reputed IBS, and rash are all causing intermittent aches and pains that don't go away...

Also, my brain capacity is diminished. I do have an excuse - chemo brain - but I wish I could remember stuff. This morning I got the list I started last night of things I had forgotten to do yesterday, then I picked up my pen, and forgot what I was going to add. I have no brain - the scarecrow syndrome (If I only had a brain.)

I have great hopes that someday, I will be back to normal but not yet. I also wonder if at my doctor visit on Friday, I will learn anything new and exciting. Not that I expect to but every time I go to the doctor these days, I wonder what else they will tell me.

On a brighter note, I now have two flowers in the garden. One of my crocuses finally bloomed. I think it is pretty late. None of my tulips or daffodils show any signs yet of blooming. However April showers bring May flowers so maybe I have to wait a month... I am not very good at that these days.

Today is actually supposed to be spring like and up near 60. I plan on doing some work this morning and then between phone interviews, I will garden and go for a walk. I might even wear shorts. Yes, did you notice that? I have two phone interviews today. One with a nonprofit and the other with a 'boutique financial services' company. Both are for part time work and would allow me to work partially at home as well. I am excited. Money would be a good thing.

The big mystery of today is what happened to my crocs that I wear for gardening. I looked yesterday and they are not in any of their normal places. They are perfect for gardening as they keep my feet protected and dry. However they are completely MIA. I will have to take advantage of my well being and find them wherever they were hidden away. (Is it a coincidence that they are missing and my husband thinks they are the most ridiculous things on the planet - mostly because they are bright pink???)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

My turn to cause confusion

Yep, I get to cause the confusion. Now two doctors have said "I have no idea what that rash is from". Actually the surgeon was kind of funny. He said "I am a simple doctor. Either its cancer or its not. There is a rare, recurrent form of breast cancer that shows up as a rash. But it doesn't look like what you have. A dermatologist would probably give it a fancy name that ends in '-osis' but I don't know what it is." He did not biopsy it because he said due to the recency of my radiation it would cause more scarring than I might think. However, I am due to go back to him in two months and if I still have it, he will biopsy it then.

Hmmm... I think I can live with that for now. I'll just ignore it for two months and maybe it will go away on its own. That is always the best advice for medical issues and other things. If you have something bothering you, ignore it and maybe it will go away (like an annoying co-worker). Or if your car engine makes a weird noise, close your window and turn up the radio. Sometimes if you have a cold, you can just ignore it and it will go away. So that is my plan of action for now. Besides I have enough other things going on to worry about for now anyway.

Otherwise, yesterday was not exciting. I went to Lahey and spent 36 minutes there. This surgeon is great. I never seem to wait (now I will jinx myself on my next visit) and can get in and out of there in a very brief period of time. Then I went to work. I made purple cauliflower, winter squash, and red pepper saute with curry and steak for dinner. Very interesting color mixture. I did go for a walk as well. It never got very warm. Today they claim it will hit mid-50's. I am waiting not so patiently.

Another thing I am not being so patient about is the rest of my flowers. Why aren't they blooming? What? A little cold weather is keeping them away????

Today I am working from home and staring at my unflowering gardens. I could clean the house but... No, not today. Maybe tomorrow.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Finally, finally, finally!


I have something blooming in the garden. The sad thing is I can't remember what its called... Again, I am claiming chemo brain. On the other hand, I can remember that the ones with buds are called crocuses and they might even bloom today. I have been a tad impatient about this. Its a late spring here. Again we had another weekend of thirties and rainy drizzle. We were having a drought last fall but apparently that is over now. We have gotten plenty of rain now.

Today, I get to start my day with a trip to the Lahey clinic parking garage. I am sure I will see examples of 'superior' driving skills. My strategy is to allow at least 5 minutes to get to a parking space as there always seem to be other drivers who just go very slowly and inspect every space to see if someone is about to leave. After surviving the parking garage, my day can only go up from there.

The thought did occur to me, is the surgeon going to do a biopsy this morning or is he going to look at my rash and tell me to come back for a biopsy? It may not even be today. Of course, he could just look at it and tell me its nothing and send me on my way. That wouldn't be too bad. And if he does do a biopsy, how long do I have to wait to get the results? This is looking like a stress filled week. Gee, I haven't had one of those in a while!

Anyhow, after the doctor, I am going to work and then after work I will go for a walk. It should be nice and warm by then and I don't have time this morning. In fact, I need to get off this evil time sucking internet and get moving so I can get to my appointment on time.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Do you have it too???

We all suffer from it I think so admit it! Cyberchondria that is. What is it you say? Its using the internet to look up your medical conditions and diagnose yourself. Forget needing to go to medical school and having formal training, we can all be doctors now. It is a form of hypochondria that uses online resources. Face it, there is a lot of medical information on the internet and your latest symptoms must clearly be that of a fatal disease or the common cold, or somewhere in between. Did you break your leg or do you have bone cancer? Is it a headache or a brain tumor? Is it a rash or is it an reaction? You get the gist of it. Apparently, it is fairly common. So common that if you google cyberchondria, it comes up on medical websites!

So as I wait to go to the doctor for a biopsy on Monday, I get to look up skin rashes. There are lots of them and they can mean all sorts of things from an allergy to cancer. But wait, I already have that! I don't need to worry about getting cancer! I can worry about allergies and viruses and all sorts of fun stuff.

Yesterday I opted not to worry about much and went out to lunch with a friend. We had another very nutritional meal of chicken nachos. They are a balanced diet: refried beans, chicken, lettuce, tomato, corn, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, tomatoes. That includes grains, protein, vegetables, and fat and calories with probably a little cholesterol thrown in... It hit all the food groups. (I also had a salad, sauteed vegetables and salmon for dinner so I was healthier later to counteract it.)

We also went for a long walk. Walter calls these death marches. Today we will go for another one. They are good for him. He gets to run home. I walk home and talk on my cell phone. Multitasking in the great outdoors.

Yesterday we ran in to a giant math problem. I want to get some compost to cover the gardens with an inch or less. I measured the garden area we have and it is about 418 sq ft in 7 separate sections. So how much compost do you need to cover that much area 1" thick? Compost is sold by the cubic foot. The guy at the garden center told us we would need 28 bags for 324 sq ft and if the compost costs $8/bag (organic of course is more expensive) that equals a lot more money than we want to pay. So we didn't buy any but I came home and tried to figure this out. 1 cubic foot is how many cubic inches which at a layer 1" thick would cover how many square feet? I woke up this morning and knew the answer: We have seven little garden areas so I need seven bags. I will use one per garden area. Forget about converting cubic inches to square feet and square yards. Its much easier this way. I couldn't find my calculator and was getting a headache. (Or was it a brain tumor?)

Saturday, April 5, 2008

I missed going to Lahey. I admit it.

Yes, I missed going to the Lahey. It had been a while since I had been to the offices up in Peabody. No, not really. I'm lying. So I have been having this rash right next to where my radiation boost was, that is basically sporadically painful for several weeks. The pain level, when it occurred, was at the 'suck in your breath when it hits'.

As I am so sick of going to doctors, I was waiting to let it go away on its own. I finally decided that it wasn't getting better so I called the radiation oncologist. The nurse said 'sounds like shingles but we need the doctor to take a look'. So the doctor said she could fit me in if I drove up to Peabody (20 minutes away). I went, she looked and said... (drum roll)... 'I have no idea. I have never seen anything like this. I think the surgeon should look at it and take a biopsy.' Gee, just what I (NOT) wanted to hear. So I have an appointment for Monday morning at 9 am. I think this will be a 'procedure'. I am so (NOT) looking forward to it. So this weekend will be spent in anticipation of needles and other fun stuff on Monday.

To keep my mind off it, I have been guilty of substance abuse - ice cream. Oreo cookie to be exact. It was yummy. I am not sharing. Walter is off ice cream this week as he has a weigh in next weekend. That means I don't have to share with him. The cat is unfortunately discovering ice cream. He tries to share and stick his head in my ice cream dish. This results in jail time for him. His jail is the side porch which has windows on three sides and a view of many squirrels. It does not include his food dish which is why he tends to regard it as a jail. The real benefit is it allows us to enjoy food with out a beggar. At best he sits on your lap. At worst, his nose is in or near your food.

We are also going to go out for a walk this morning. It has (mostly) stopped raining. That is why we have jackets and hats. We won't melt or wreck our hair dos. Not that I have much of one of those these days. Anyway, not a super exciting day but then it wouldn't be my life if it wasn't boring!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Who has the best collection?

First of all, we have kitty's collection. We keep it on the bottom shelf of a table by the front door. He goes and knocks the toys off and throws them around. Yesterday I went out for a walk and they were all piled neatly up. When I came back, they were all over the floor. Note the presence of kitty drugs. We are not responsible for his actions when he access his drugs. Does he have a substance abuse problem? We are not sure but often we find his toys everywhere. Some of them have bells and we hear him rolling them around in the middle of the night.

The next collection is the beads. I have a multistrand necklace of these beads which now has one fewer strand on it. I put my necklace on the bed the other day just for a minute while I was getting dressed and someone (who is furry but shall remain nameless) jumped up on the bed and walked on it. When I picked it up, there was a little stream of beads spreading all over the floor. Evidently his delicate 18 lbs. managed to break a strand. Luckily this necklace has many strands so it is not that obvious. Now I have a little collection of beads that I cannot possibly restring.

The third collection is probably the most pathetic. After trips home from Lahey, I would just throw the bracelets on my desk next to my monitor and then I found I have a whole pile of them. I guess they are my souvenirs of treatments. I would get one every time I went for chemo and then for 'procedures' and 'tests' but not for radiation. (At radiation, they took your picture and stuck it in your file so they could recognize you and not have to use bracelets each time you go for a treatment.) I probably threw out twice as many as I still have. In addition to my collection of surgical scars, I have these as well for souvenirs.

Now I have three little collections of crap. The first is probably the most useful (well at least for the cat). The second fairly useless and the third one is totally useless. Time for spring cleaning. Well, that will give me something to do today as it is a yucky 35 degree rainy day. No walk outside for me. Perhaps I will make it to the gym in time to watch Ellen DeGeneres as I walk to nowhere on the treadmill but I think its a rerun!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Call me a technoweenie!

Three years ago, we moved in to our house and signed up for RCN. The idiot (unqualified, non RCN) installer who came basically did a poor job - possibly because he was on his cell phone speaking in German the entire time he was working. Anyhow, he never set up our email. He was supposed to set up email on one computer. He didn't. Also, the phone didn't work right and there was some problem with the TV, both of which took a few weeks to resolve. Needless to say I meant to set up RCN email for both of us on our computers. Well, it never happened for me. We got Walter's to work after lots of swearing and arguing with the computer. I tried a couple of times over the three years but could never get it to work. Yes, call me a technoweenie but I couldn't do it.

After my problems with other day with my email (I really don't think the Internet was broken or all my friends hate me) I decided yesterday that I really should switch over. I started with the RCN website and then was going to call for help. I didn't think I could do it because I haven't been able to figure out the POP3 crap that you need to know. I got to the RCN website and they had a little EZ Setup tool for Outlook running in Windows. It took about 10 seconds and I had email. So after three years, it took ten seconds. I feel like a moron (claiming chemo brain for the last 9 months, not sure about the 2 years and three months before that) but I really don't think they had that EZ set up tool available a few months ago. Anyhow, I have a new email address. I can spend the next six months unsubscribing from email lists and resigning up and then telling everyone I know about my new email... My new email is my first initial, married name at rcn.com if you want to figure it out on your own.

Otherwise, I did not have an exciting day. Well, maybe I did. I did meet with an employer and got started on some interesting work. I did some work from home and went for a walk. I met a friend for an entirely unhealthy meal. (I am not concerned about my cholesterol, etc at this point). We got half size appetizers of crab dip and pita chips, boneless buffalo wings, and fried calamari. There were a few lonely carrot and celery sticks with the wings but otherwise there was not much nutrition. I do believe there were lots of fat grams, cholesterol (both good and bad kinds), and calories. Oh, we had wine too to balance out all the bad stuff. It was fun and nice to get out. Today I am going for a long walk to work off the bad things and will go buy some vegetables so we can return to eating healthy.

Now last night I did try that prescription again that gave me so many problems possibly last week. See, I had a cold. Maybe it didn't make me feel crappy and I was just sick. I decided I needed to try it again before I give up on it. I did. I am not sure it worked but will give it a try for a few days before really giving up. I didn't sleep that well but I am not blaming the prescription, I am blaming the cat. He insisted on sleeping next to me on the pillow with his paws in my face, breathing is yucky 'fish breath' into my nose all night long. Ick!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

What happened?

Yesterday, I got very, very, very, very, very, very few emails. Its not that I consider myself popular or that email is my lifeblood or something but I am on a million lists and get tons of email. Which all goes nicely sorted into their little folders through filters. Anyhow, yesterday I got nearly none. This causes me to believe one of three things:

1. The internet was broken. Yes, I supposed this could happen. It could break. Unfortunately I don't think its very likely.

2. Everyone decided they hate me and took me off their lists. Again this is possible. I could decide this was the cause, take it personally, and think no one wants to be my friend ever again. And all those impersonal lists I am on hate me as well.

3. My email had a bad day. This is probably the cause. I can only hope that all those job offers are resent to me and that my friends really do like me and will resend their emails.

So yesterday I was pretty tired because the airline called so early. I worked all day, went to my support group, and then my parents came for dinner. The cat mostly behaved until this morning. First of all, when your spouse leaves town for business, you need to make sure they do not reset the alarm clock to go off at some disgusting hour of the morning... Anyhow, I did go back to sleep and slept a little bit late and then the cat came and sat on me. Apparently, his food dish was not up to his specifications - he basically could see bottom and it upsets him greatly. Now he is insisting on sitting on my lap as I sit at my computer. He wants to make sure my typing skills are up to par.

Today I am doing some work for a job and then plan on gardening and going for a walk. I am meeting a friend for dinner. Something I have not done in months! It will be nice. We are going to a restaurant which has a crab/artichoke dip with pita chips that is probably not the healthiest thing in the world but we like it!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What a restful night!

The phone rang at 3:19 am to inform us that Walter's flight this morning was delayed by an hour. This did not benefit us in the least. First of all, it woke us up. Then I couldn't get back to sleep. We also couldn't really leave for the airport any later than 6 am so as to avoid traffic. I do need to add that at that hour there really is no one else in the tunnel to the airport, except the moron driving 2 feet from my rear bumper. Needless to say, I might need a nap today. Or perhaps I can just be crabby. Walter is away for three days so I can be crabby and he won't even know.

I finally got the appointment notification for the follow up with the surgeon. Its not until June but its nice that I finally know when it is. However (as they continue to perfect the art of patient confusion), I am supposed to have a mammogram and then see him when he has the results. I am not sure an hour and a half is enough time between the two for this to happen. I will call today but I do believe one of them will need to be rescheduled. Right now they are both on Friday the 13th as well. I am not sure I like that date either. We already went through the MRI and then no results available when I saw him in December and I don't want to have a repeat.

Today, finally spring will be here. It is already in the mid-50's. That's right 5-0, not 40's or 30's or 20's or 10's or lower. But 50's. Once I finish waking up (two cups of coffee already have not kicked in), I will go for a walk and not have to wear multiple layers of clothes. Perhaps I will wear shorts! Now there's a concept! (When was the last time I shaved my legs? Hmmmm.... Perhaps no shorts.) After my walk I will go to work and my support group. Another exciting and eventful day in my life.

My parents are coming for dinner tonight so the cat doesn't feel neglected with Walter out of town. I am not sure I can properly pay enough attention to him. He needs at least two humans around to cater to his needs properly.