Do you want the truth?

Do you want the truth from your doctor? Of course we want to hear the truth. BUT. Are we really sure about that? I mean we want our friend to honestly tell us not to buy that dress because it makes you look fat. Or we want the home improvement contractor to give the honest date they will be done with the renovations.

But sometimes a little blurring of the facts can be a welcome respite from reality. The truth may need to come out at appropriate times. If there is an 95% survival rate for a medical ailment, do you really want to know that ahead of time? Or do you want to be told that most people come through it fine? If you are told that number of 95% are you going to fixate on the 5% that don't make it? If you are diagnosed with cancer and the doctor starts running on and on about 5 year survival rates and tells you its only 87%, do you really want to hear that number? Or do you want the doctor to say things like 'we are optimistic about your treatment and most people do quite well with it' Eventually you will find out the survival rates and can absorb them.

I know one woman with her cancer diagnosis, she told her doctor she didn't want to know any numbers - not her cancer stage, or number of positive lymph nodes, or anything. She just wanted to focus on treatment. Eventually she did find out all her stats but it was on her time.

A big hot button in the news this morning is that doctors are not completely honest with their patients. There are two parts to this issue - one in telling patients about prognosis and expected outcomes and the other with revealing their alliances and payments with drug and medical device manufacturers.

For the first issue, I think I want some information but only want hard details and numbers at a slower rate. At the end of my breast cancer treatment, I finally screwed up every brave nerve I had and asked my oncologist what he thought of my prognosis. I would not have been ready to hear it earlier, not that it was bad but I wanted needed to go through treatment with as much optimism as I could attain. Although doctors may not be as forth coming about outcomes and expectations up front, they also need to retain some compassion and explain as much as the patient wants. If you over whelm a patient with a poor outcome, you can send them spiraling into depression and despair. There needs to be a balance.

But if there has been an error in my care, I want to know about it. When I had my gall bladder out, in post op there was a giant bruise spreading across my stomach. From the nurse's comments I knew that was unusual and it was the largest pain area during recovery. It appears the surgeon was a bit heavy handed at some point - even though they were four tiny incisions, the tools used my have been pretty forceful to leave a bruise. But did he ever mention it to me when checking on me? No. Did I bring it up? No because I was in the post anesthesia haze for a while and my brain didn't function properly. As a result, I am fine but will probably avoid having the same surgeon again.

For the second issue of revealing affiliations and payments with medical manufacturers I think my stance is pretty clear: treat me based on what I need not on the weight of  the doctor's wallet.

Most of the time honesty is the best policy but sometimes a little fudging can be appreciated.