Last night I got together with two friends - one of whom I haven't seen in over 30 years. We were laughing about the fact that when we last got together we were too young to drink in a bar legally. The other friend is one who I have kept in touch with pretty much all through the years. We both have RA but her's is much more under control than mine, or maybe my fibro and back pains make me more complicated.
We caught up on life and loves over the decades. My RA friend's husband is dealing with stage IV colon cancer and is in clinical trials because there is nothing much else left. Based on my other friend's reaction to that news, which was surprised, supportive, and dismayed, I was unsure about sharing all my health news. I said my health is horrible but I'm still here. I skipped the cancer parts.
Why was I hesitant? Because once burned, twice shy. I have been burned too many times but old friends who run from the word cancer. We already have plans to get together again so I'll wait and decide later.
But in the meantime, you can call me a wimp.
2 comments:
you're the opposite of wimp.
dear Caroline,
you are not a wimp - more sensitive and kind-hearted. that old saw, "discretion is the better part of valor", is a good fit for the way you were thinking. sometimes I feel so needy, I find myself blurting out my story - in public places and to perfect strangers - usually when they see me crying in starbucks, the grocers, on the street, or the dog park. then I feel a bit bad about having heaped in all onto them, and wished I would have been more able to keep things to myself. but funny thing with strangers - they always say they are so sorry and most offer a warm hug. it's different with friends - I, too, worry if all I am going through, especially with cancer, will make people, friend people, fall away.
I guess all we can do is trust our gut. glad you got out with your friends and had a nice time. I'm sure you gave them both, especially the one whose husband is ST IV a lot of good support.
much love and light,
Karen xoxo
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