Monday, February 20, 2017

We Can't Be Mad About Our Cancers (Ailments)

I read someone's blog post or article about someone else who died so mad about her cancer. This is wrong. I can tell you from personal experience. When you have cancer, you do not have the luxury of being 'mad' about your medical crap. Its not worth it.

There are the five stages of acceptance. One of them is anger. We need to get past this as easily as possible. By working on our emotional side as well as our physical we can more quickly get past the anger and then learn what it is like to live with cancer.

When first diagnosed with cancer, I did everything wrong. The biggest thing was I never talked about it, discussed it, figured out its impact on my life. I was mad about it for a long time. Maybe 15 years. That was horrible. I had so many emotional issues because I hadn't dealt with my cancer.

So now I know that my biggest issue with treating physical diseases is also treating the emotional ones. The emotional ones are just as important. But are not treated that way by medical doctors. Medical doctors are focused on our medical care but do not always have the 'bandwidth' to deal with the emotional side. This is where the patients need to turn proactive.

At my first cancer diagnosis, I remember waking up in post op with the doctor sitting on the edge of my bed telling me I had cancer. All I remember thinking is I am glad he told my parents so I didn't have to.

At my second diagnosis, my husband and I met with a medical oncologist, radiation oncologist, surgeon, and social worker in the same day and we all discussed options. Much more emotional support, but not necessarily enough.

But I learned. What I learned is that I need to focus on my emotional side as much as my physical. I can't sit back and wait for care. I need to focus on getting the emotional care I need.


1 comment:

Ruth C said...

I agree, not only do we need to deal with the anger and why me, we need to focus on directing energy to fight and make decisions. You cannot make an informed decision with anger, hopelessness, sadness in the way. More oncologists and cancer centers are beginning to realize the wholisticness of treating the psyche as well as physical problems their patients have. They are seeing better outcomes when they do, as well as less side effects at times, when we are actively engaged in our treatment. Thank you for noting this in your blog! Love it and you! Ruth C