The side effects to prevent side effects

So I have all these wonderful chemo side effects - nausea, hair loss, mouth sores, fatigue, low blood counts, etc. so they give me more drugs to prevent the side effects. I can prevent the nausea by taking stuff that does all sorts of other fun things. A few of these are:

'May cause drowsiness, use care when operating a car or dangerous machinery.' Does this mean a car is not a dangerous machine or are they really saying other dangerous machinery. What is a dangerous machine - does it include an electric toothbrush, electric mixer, vacuum cleaner, dryer? I don't really think I operate other machinery and am not sure I consider them dangerous. They should clarify. I think if they made the print smaller, they could fit in a realistic list of what really is a dangerous machine.

The next favorite is 'May cause drowsiness. Taking this medicine alone or with alcohol may lessen your ability to drive or perform hazardous tasks.' Again, so is driving a hazardous task or is the word other missing in there? Again, more smaller print and tell us what a hazardous task is? I mean is using a cell phone or computer hazardous? Well, yes, if you are driving at the same time but separately? I am confused.

Then here's the other version 'May cause dizziness. Do not drive or perform other potentially dangerous tasks until you know how this medicine affects you.' Can I be dizzy and drowsy at the same time? Will I be able to tell the difference? What's the difference between a hazardous task or a dangerous task?

'Do not drink alcoholic beverages while taking this medicine.' That's easy. Chemo makes wine taste like battery acid. No I haven't tried battery acid but now I think I know what it tastes like.

'This medicine may caused blurred vision.' I thought I needed new glasses. That label should be put on top of the list in LARGE print. If your vision is blurred you probably can't read the little dinky type face. So I am dizzy, drowsy, and have blurred vision.

'You should avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to direct and/or artificial sunlight while taking this medicine.' So no tanning salons. I can figure out that. But does this mean I should stay indoors? How boring.

Finally, 'Check with your doctor if you plan to become pregnant while using this medicine'. Um... do this put this label on the bottles for men's prescriptions too? If not, what do they put on men's prescription bottles?

Enough deep thoughts for the day. I just need to figure out what my 'mystery' Lahey appointment is. I called on Friday to ask what was scheduled for me because I forgot to ask at my last chemo. They said nothing scheduled until the 12th. Then today I said to Walter, 'I want to try to work maybe three half days a week, maybe Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday this week.' That was it, I jinxed myself again. There was a new innocuous Lahey clinic message saying I have an appointment on Wednesday. Its a holiday so I can't call back and ask what its for!!!!! Grrr... More than my brain can handle.

Must be nap time.