Wednesday, July 13, 2011
This morning I am in avoidance mode
I am in avoidance mode this morning. I am scheduled to have an endoscopy this morning. An endoscopy is not a big test. They put you to sleep and stick a camera down your throat to look for bad things - mostly to tell you how bad your heart burn really is.
I was very concerned about the idea of a camera down my throat because I googled it and read all the descriptions of what they do. Then I asked my husband how it was when he had one - and he said it was no big deal. I also asked the nurse who called to ask me all the questions and she said they put you to sleep and you wake up and its over. So that is now okay.
But with my medical history, they have to be sure. Which always scares the crap out of me - because of my medical history and needing to being sure. How many bad things are found in routine tests? Have that happen a couple of times and then see how calm you are. And my doctor called last night to confirm why I am having the test she ordered... Does she need a reminder?
So here is my day so far. I couldn't sleep very well and the cat wanted to get up at 5 so I did. He didn't want food or to snuggle, he wanted, the indoor cat, to go out. Now I am wasting time on line. I did slightly redesign my blog. The cat is now napping by my feet. I would like some breakfast and am extremely thirsty - but only because I can't eat or drink for six hours prior. I did cheat and have more than a tiny sip of water with my morning prescriptions and just had a second not so tiny sip of water with my second round of morning prescriptions.
Sooner or later I'll stop dawdling and take a shower and brush my teeth. I find humor in the fact that when they talk about prep for these procedures, they always stress brushing your teeth. I hope at the end of the test they tell me they found nothing too interesting and I get to take it easy this afternoon because I was sedated and am not allowed to make important decisions for 24 hours. Maybe my husband will decide whats for dinner. Tomorrow morning I go back to my doctor and we get to talk about all the uninteresting things they found. I have an hour before I have to leave but I'm not ready to take a shower yet so its time to turn on the TV.
This is the misunderstood side of my life - how I live with limitations. The other day, I visited my mother who also has RA. We went for a w...
I haven't been blogging recently because I have been emotionally stressed. It may take me a while longer to get back to it. My father , ...
Often when I am extremely stressed, I find I need to hibernate a bit, and 'lick my wounds' as they say. For the past month, since my...
So after you get diagnosed with cancer, it seems like everyone you know has cancer because: You have met a lot of other people going throu...