Tuesday, April 19, 2016

The Changing Focus of Cancer

For 25 years, cancer had a changing focus in my life. Sometimes it would leap back up into the front of my stress levels. The changing levels were mostly due to my health. It used to be pretty good but did have its ups and downs. But I did used to be pretty healthy with cancer staying fairly far into the back of my brain.

I was mostly on an even keel. I say 'mostly' because who can say they are continually positive all the time. After a quarter century of a cancer focus in my life when went from all encompassing to moving to the back of my brain, things changed.

Nearly nine years ago, that all changed when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Cancer came front and center in my life. Actually it came roaring back into the front and center of my life. One thing else I did know at the time was that I had already gotten through cancer once before so I could be slightly optimistic that I could do it again. A tiny sliver of positive things.

But for the next six years probably it was still important to me and a topic of frequent blog posts. But then in 2013 when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, cancer has slipped in importance in my life, but still lingers.... After two cancers, its never going to go away.

Now I have a split focus in my life, sort of evenly divided between:
  • breast cancer
  • thyroid cancer
  • rheumatoid arthritis
  • fibromyalgia
  • all the related side effects from all the related treatments
What this means is that cancer is not completely a giant sucking black hole in my life. This is a slightly 'healthier' balance. Not that I am healthy but maybe a saner balance.

I think anyone when they are diagnosed with cancer, it takes over their life, until something changes in their life and they get distracted. So maybe I have been a bit distracted from the giant cancer focus in my life. But it will never go away. But it is allowing me a bit more of sanity. Who doesn't need sanity?

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