I Am Feeling Stressed

I didn't blog yesterday and am a little late today because I hadn't really decided what was going on with me. Finally (call me slow if you want) I decided I am feeling stressed. And I am beginning to figure out why I am so stressed. I have a lot going on. Nothing major medically but just too much stress for me.

Last month, in the spirit of doing something good, I decided to convince my husband we need to adopt a third cat. As soon as I asked about where are the good local shelters someone offered me her two cats that she needed to get rid of (because her son was moving home with his dog who didn't get along with the cats). [Maybe the son shouldn't have been allowed to bring his dog home.... but its not my house so I kept my mouth shut.]

We waited until we got back from vacation and picked them up a week ago Sunday. When we went to pick them up my husband said 'you are making a mistake' but I still thought I was doing something good.

They were two incredibly obese orange tabbies that had been locked into an unfinished room in the basement without windows for 'several weeks'. They were not in good shape. I still thought I was doing something good.

We brought them home and put them into a separate room and I put them on diet food. Except Sunday afternoon we had two cats. Monday we only had two cats for a brief period of time in the afternoon. Tuesday afternoon we had two cats for about 5 minutes. This Sunday morning, after reporting a lost cat to animal control, we then had two cats again at about 4 am. We also had two cats for about 30 seconds at 5 am this morning. One of them (I think its Jake not Ginger), can jump over the baby gate we have keeping them in a separate room. He keeps hiding in the basement (we think).

This morning I found someone had pooped on the laundry room floor and someone else had tossed their cookies on the rug in the finished part of the basement. I decided that's it. They have to go back. We took them conditionally - if WW III broke out in our house, they had to go back. Right now we have four cats who keep hissing and growling at us and each other. I can't take it.

Ginger (or whichever is not lost living in the basement) meows all the time when he is hungry - which is all the time because he is on a diet. He keeps me up. (Who names a boy cat Ginger anyway?) If I close the door to either his room or our room, I can still hear him meow. I don't sleep well because of my pain levels and other health issues anyway. And if one cat is not meowing, another one is, or growling, or hissing at each other and having a 'conversation' that keeps me awake.

I really wanted to do a good thing but I can't do this one. I need to take them back asap. Like this afternoon. I am getting rid of one today around 6pm. I just have to find the other one so I can take them both back.

I do feel guilt. But I also believe that I need to take better care of myself. I felt my stress level go down after I made the decision. I called my husband and he is okay with my decision (and is probably telling me that I was making a mistake in the first place.

I am not in the position to do good deeds until I am in a better place with my place (in a few thousand light years).