Thursday, January 12, 2017

Facing Anniversaries

So I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of May 2007 which means I am almost at my ten year mark. When I was diagnosed I hopped online for a lot of emotional support where I met a bunch of great people who really helped me learn, cope and adapt to this new phase in my life.

I got online immediately (probably within a week of my diagnosis) and met so many people who were already through most of treatment and were diagnoses up to a year or two before me. Now I am still in touch with them and watch them celebrate ten years out from their breast cancer diagnosis. I am happy for them but I am not sure how I feel about me.

Honestly I just cant see myself wanting to celebrate ten years since my breast cancer diagnosis. I don't think I have it in me.

When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 1981 at 19 I always told myself I would throw a party and finally talk about it with everyone when I was 20 years out. That didn't happen. So I said at 25 years out. That didn't happen either. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my health fell apart and I am not in the mood for celebrating anything.

I mean I appreciate that I am still here but not so sure I need to throw a party or celebrate in anyway.

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