Once you enter cancerland, your brain takes detours all the time. Where do these detours go? BAD PLACES!
"Is that a zit? No, of course not. Its a tumor. Must be skin cancer."
"A headache? No, a brain tumor. Dead in 3 months."
"Is that a swollen lymph node? Quick, leukemia or lymphoma, which one?"
As you can easily see you brain with cancer goes down the wrong roads. Usually in the middle of the night. Or when your are stuck in traffic by yourself.
You start making little deals with yourself. "I'll wait a month and see if its still a problem. No, a month? No three weeks. Wait, two weeks. Maybe ten days. Do I have any blood work coming up? Maybe that will tell me something."
"Wait, am I a lunatic? Actually thinking like this will turn me into a lunatic!"
The big thing is to learn to control your brain so it doesn't take all the detours. That is the really hard part of living with cancer. Your brain develops a this ability to drive you crazy and lead you into bad places. You need to get it under control so you can keep your sanity and avoid things like depression and anxiety.
Its a lifelong problem. It will never go away. Such is cancerland.
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