My Health Is Trying My Patience

What if I could be normal and when I tried to be a healthy person I could actually do it without having to spend time recovering?

Yesterday by the time I got home I was exhausted. I had had a very long day. What did I do? Got my hair cut, went to the gym and a doctor appointment. I had to lie down for a while. I left my house at 1030am and got home at 430pm. Six hours?

My original schedule for yesterday included a 930 appointment at the gym. I decided that would probably be too much for me and rescheduled. I knew I had down time during the day and was going to go visit my parents for a bit. But then I got the brain storm to shorten my day. Its one thing to skip the gym or the grocery store because I was too tired but its another to skip a doctor appointment.

So anyway, my health is seriously trying my patience and I am sick of fed up with it. If I can't manage six hours out of the house, including a good hour sitting down, what am I supposed to do? Just stay home and rot? Grrr.....

Call me frustrated. I think I can manage today. All I have to do is go to my knitting group and come home. A much shorter day.

A Hangover

We all have had a hangover or few in our lives. Admit it, unless you are a lifetime non-drinker you have had a hangover. Alcoholic hangovers happen. We all know the feelings - dehydrated, headache, general crappy feeling.

But with RA and fibromyalgia there are other hangovers - activity hangovers. This happens when I, or anyone with these diseases, attempts to be a normal person. You act normal for one day and then spend three days paying the piper, so to speak.

Someone else wrote about activity hangovers the other day which made me feel like I am not alone. She writes about going to a party and then feeling the pain. I, on the other hand, don't even have to go to a party, I can just have a good day, try to be normal, and then spend a day in bed. If I'm lucky, its not multiple days in bed.

I am not sure what I have done for the past few days but yesterday I took a 2.5 hour nap and then slept for 8 hours last night. My pain management doctor says that sleep is good and very beneficial. It allows my body to heal. But I will still discuss it with my primary care when I see her.

Anytime I try to be normal I end up taking naps and then have bad days with 'activity' hangovers.

Relearning to Balance

I have had any ups and downs recently. My life has changed significantly in recent months since I stopped working. It has given me much more time to spend on things I enjoy. And time to spend on things around the house that I never used to be able to get to.

On the other hand, as I spend more time on the things that I enjoy I find I lose track of time and end up over doing things. Then it takes me time to recover. And I don't get to the rest of the things I need to do - like cook dinner.

Last weekend we had a party on Saturday afternoon. Sunday morning I didn't feel too bad so I went to an event I really wanted to attend. Then Monday I was too tired for anything. I didn't even go to the gym. I basically stayed home all day recovering (except for a single doctor appointment).

After resting for a day, I felt some what better and attempted to take care of things around the house on Tuesday for a few hours - paint a few walls. Bad idea. I ended up being wiped out again and needed to rest again on Wednesday and Thursday morning. Thursday afternoon I had my knitting group and had to run a few errands. Again Friday I was fairly tired but did make it to the gym and the grocery store. And spent Friday afternoon doing recovering.

This is not balance. This is up and down and up and down and more down and up a little and down, and down and down. Then I spend 12 hours in bed mostly asleep and many hours watching bad tv while knitting and reading.

I need to relearn how to balance my life so I can take care of the things I want and not spend so long recovering. Its a new lifestyle so it needs a new balance.

And there are only so many HGTV shows and Lifetime movies I can watch before my brain starts to rot. And there are only so many books at the library I want to read.