More Not Blogging

I have been very busy the last few day weeks. Now that I can drive, I have been driving and going places and thus wearing myself out and making my knee hurt. I had Thanksgiving prep for food and house guests and dinner for 14. I also have had some doctor appointments that were postponed from when I couldn't drive. I still have lots more appointments for the same reason as well as PT for my knee.

So now that I am getting back to normal I have things on my mind for blogging topics. They will not get all the coverage due  because I have been a slacker for my reasons above.

• I have pondered the issue of losing friends and making new friends. In the past year, I have lost two friends. Mostly because of my actions because I could no longer with their actions at attitudes. When you part ways with long time friends I think the holidays make you notice their absence more. I think I am still comfortable with their absence in my life. The stress they caused me no longer bothers me. I can't miss friends when I would get so aggravated in trying to get together and getting together. I'm glad I'm done but I still feel some regrets - some because I waited so long to take actions.
• This 'gentleman', and I use the term loosely, really pissed me off.
  
  If you have MS, or PTSD after serving in the military, or even breast cancer, this a$$hole thinks we are 'undesirable'. Why? Because he is against having a marijuana dispensary in his neighborhood, which is one of the nicest in Boston.
• My health is may be telling me new things that I am not ready to discuss. Which aggravates me more. Only four appointments this week, plus two PT trips. I'll discuss later, maybe. But I am really aggravated. I am not allowed to have more ailments than I already do.

That's all for now. But you get the idea. I survived Thanksgiving and it actually went very well. Iam now looking at Christmas and hope it doesn't stress me as much again.

Celebrate the Holiday, Without the Cancer Advice

Over on Cure Magazine, Martha Carlson, who is living with metastatic breast cancer, provides a bit of advice on how to enjoy the holiday, even when confronted by the unwanted offers of 'advice' from the 'helpful' friends and family you see at family gatherings. 

Everyone knows this type of people. They think they know more than you do about how to treat your disease, because:

• They read something about it once
• They saw something about it on TV or online
• They are smarter than you and just know these things that your poor brain cells could never have found on your own
• They know someone who had a similar ailment a long time ago and their treatment must be better.
• They are positive alternative medicine will cure you instantly and you should not waste your time on traditional medicine.

After living with metastatic breast cancer for three years, she has this advice:

"Listen first.  I try to remind myself that she believes what she’s saying, thinks it’s something I’ve never heard before, wants to save my life, and, most importantly, doesn’t know any better. I listen first, at least to a few sentences.

Don’t apologize. I do my best to not say “I’m sorry, but…” If I must be blunt, I simply say that I'm following the advice of medical professionals I trust.

Lead with a fact. I’ve got several at my disposal, and which one I use depends on the conversation. 

Follow with a fact. The other common view I hear is about the value of alternative treatments, both to avoid cancer and to treat it. For breast cancer, people who chose alternative treatments were more than five times as likely to die within five years than those who chose conventional treatment.” If that doesn’t give someone pause, nothing will.

Give a little. I will often talk about my own experience with things like meditation, qi gong, exercise and healthy eating to remind the other person that we don't have to argue in stark opposition.

Be kind, not silent. Say something like, “It’s hard to confront illnesses that could end our lives. I try to be both optimistic and realistic with this disease.”

Change the subject. I try to preemptively control the conversation by asking for specifics about his kids, his retirement, his house—anything other than his health or my own.

Hold up a mirror. As is true in dating, most people would rather talk about themselves."

There is a lot more over at Cure Magazine to read. But I think you get the point. I am about to sit down with a large meal for 14 people and will cross my fingers that I don't get stuck on the topic of my health. I don't allow politics at the dinner table because I would rather talk to people about how they are doing than the latest presidential tweet. Maybe I'll just take another bite of food so I can't reply with my mouth full.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

Blogging at the Gym

Im at the gym,blogging during cardiovascular. My laptop is having another momentary lapse after downloading Windows 10 updates. The guy at the computer repair place says it might be hardware. I disagree and am thinking in the old days I would have booted from a floppy and recovered. But since floppies are now obsolete, I can't use that option. So I am stuck with my tablet and can't access my non-backed up files on my laptop.

In addition to my computer issues, it's been one hell of a week. Basically I  had an unexpected cancer freak out for delusions in my brain but am fine. It looks meant four doctor appointments and tests to discern the reality which  showed how much of an idiot I can really be.

Also we are having a belated Christmas dinner because I was so sick with a cold in late December.  This means houseguest and a family dinner for 11 tomorrow and cooking this afternoon when I would  rather take a nap.

In addition to  the gym, I have already been to a doctor appointment and am heading to the gas station, grocery store and library before heading home.

But it will be nice to see everyone.  We will also continue the 'no politics at the dinner table' rule so we can find out how everyone is doing instead of rehashing political opinions.

My goals for next week are to recover from this week and nap daily if I can.

I can't write any more because I am single finger typing on my tablet screen and it's too complicated for me.

Germs and RA

I keep whining about this but its true. Germs and RA do not work well together.  Here's someone else's story:

"When you have RA, the last thing you want to deal with is germs. These germs that are airborne are a recipe for disaster. I want to tell those that refuse to cover their mouth, to please do so.

The last thing I need is to get more sick when it can be prevented. Wash your hands, germs are on door knobs, money and all that we touch. Let’s be mindful in this season of more germs that they easily spread. My desire is to be in great health this winter. I know first hand, dealing with RA and a real bad cold at the same time is miserable. I’ve had times when I couldn’t sleep. My noise was stopped up and a lot of congestion. I was in bed for days. I noticed I was not able to get rid of the cold as quick as I could before I had RA. So let’s not spread germs, because for some illnesses such as RA, it makes for a miserable mix. I know from experience it is not a quick bounce back. It took me about 3 weeks to recover from a very bad cold."

You can see her full story here.

So I am home with a bad cold. Today was the day my family was going to celebrate our family Christmas. My brother was going to come in last night to stay until the weekend. But since I am sick, they did not. 

The last I heard, and I am staying out of the decision making, is that my brother might come in today and stay in a hotel (additional unneeded expense) and my family will celebrate without me tomorrow. They were going to postpone it until MLK weekend but my niece will have gone back to school by then and my other niece has a concert that weekend so it would have to be Presidents Day weekend. 

This is what happens when you get sick with RA. Family events get  postponed and celebrated without us those without colds. Kids miss out on family Christmases. All because I was exposed to a germ ten days ago.

And no I am not feeling any better. I barely slept last night because of my cold. I did get some cold medicine but there are limits to what I can take because of allergies and other medications. 

So again, if you have a cold, stay home and stop exposing everyone.

Happy Holidays!

Today my husband and I (at my husband's suggestion) are spending the day at home together. We chose to spend the time without the rest of the family because:

• We wanted to spend time together and enjoy the holiday in our new house.
• We went out to dinner with my family last night and my brother and four children are showing up Tuesday night and we are having a big family dinner here for 12.

My husband is the smart one. Its a great idea. We even went for a walk. We are enjoying the prechaos calm (think calm before the storm). 

What is a holiday supposed to be? A day where you enjoy those who are close to you and celebrate the seasons - and maybe have some good food as well. That is what we did today.

Stop Hiding From The Holidays With Ailments

Yesterday I posted a list of a holiday to dos:

1. Be present, don't buy presents
2. Wrap someone in a hug, instead of wrapping gifts
3. Send love, not gifts
4. Donate food, don't shop for it
5. Make memories, not cookies
6. Be the light, instead of hanging lights

Then I started thinking (sorry). I know I am guilty of not being present at holidays. At Thanksgiving, hosted here, I got tired and ended up lying down in our bedroom for long enough that my mother came down to lie down for a minute and talk to me because I was gone so long.

I really have limited abilities and get tired or end up in pain and need to rest. Normally, I would sit down and let everyone else do all the work. But if we are hosting, I never get to sit down because people keep asking for something so I have to get up. Now that I have had a chance to think about it I realize that I am not being present. I am hiding away.

So I have to come up with a plan. First of all I will talk to my husband and siblings because I know I can't do everything. I can also enlist one of my nieces and nephews to help.

I think I have dealt with my health for so long that I have learned to hide away so much that I start hiding away too soon. I need to work on staying out with everyone else and relax and let everyone else do the work and delegate.

That is actually pretty funny because last week I talked to an old friend who was stressing about the holidays. I told her I thought she should delegate part of the work to her husband and let him do it. I ran into her in the grocery store yesterday and she was shopping with her husband and he was doing the work. She had delegated and was very happy to do so. I have to take my own advice.

I (state your name) will stop hiding on the holidays and delegate instead.

The Best Holiday Advice

I stole this from Journeying Before Breast Cancer and I think it is the best holiday advice I have ever seen:

Holidays with Ailments

Healthy people have a holiday celebration and they do things like: cook, socialize, eat, socialize, eat more, socialize more, eat more, socialize more. Me? I do things like: cook until my back starts hurting, lie down for a while, cook more, delegate, delegate more, eat, socialize briefly, lie down for a while, eat more, socialize more, fight off sleep while lying down, eat more, socialize more, lie down more, send off guests, sleep, wake up, socialize, go back to bed until morning.

Yes, I had to take breaks to lie down during the day yesterday. I had to take more pain meds than usual. I almost fell asleep while we had a houseful of guests. I did fall asleep while my siblings were driving home relatives and my niece, nephews, and husband were watching a movie. I got up and socialized more. Then I finally went back to bed and slept for nearly 10 hours. 

Today my back hurts at the place my doctor (who will probably be replaced soon) doesn't think is painful. Why am I not surprised? I was happy to host Thanksgiving dinner but with ailments its not as easy. I can't stand up long enough to cook for so many. I need to take breaks and rest. This also means that I have less time to socialize with family members. 

I guess what this really means is that my life has changed and I don't get to do everything I want any more (I am glad I 'finally' figured that out..... Call me slow.)

But it was enjoyable. I just need to learn to remember to plan my abilities better.

I Was Too Busy To Blog

Its the truth. I was too busy to blog. Tomorrow we are hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. My mother, after 45 years of hosting Thanksgiving, has decided that she wants to go to someone else's house for dinner. Now I do admit to doing a fair amount of the cooking for the past 30 years or so, but its the first time at our house. In our new house with its big living room and open to the kitchen dining room which is why we now can host. In our new house with all my health ailments.

That's okay, my husband helped a lot and I can always take a nap if I get tired. Since I have cooked, I do not do dishes.

So anyway, today I have:

• brined the turkey
• chopped celery and onions for two kinds of stuffing
• chopped vegetables for veggies and dip
• made a pecan pie
• chopped the Brussels sprouts
• Set up beds for four guests after finding the sheets, pillows and blankets
• Went to Michaels (for a frame for the picture that should have gone on the wall weeks ago), the grocery store (for butter - you can't make Thanksgiving dinner with two sticks of butter, bagels and cream cheese), and the drugstore for my two prescriptions that I needed. 

I still have to:

• Make the dip for veggies and dip
• Wash and trim the green beans
• Set up our pill boxes for the next week
• Order take out for dinner
• Make a second dinner for our house guests that will show up around 9pm.

So all that being said, I am exhausted (but don't tell my brother or husband or they will start telling me what to do all the time). I need to take care of our pill boxes and go to bed early. And sleep late.

With my health ailments (and even before then), I do not do well with not enough sleep. I need sleep, I need sleep, I need sleep. Last night I was so tired I fell asleep before taking my giant pile of nighttime pills. I did wake up in the middle of the night and took the important ones which won't mess up with my morning pills (some need to be spaced out). 

But I digress. I do not want my health ailments to interfere with my enjoyment of Thanksgiving. I want to be able to enjoy spending time with everyone. After I sleep and take all my pills. And delegate more cooking stuff.

Happy Holidays 2016!

Happy New Year to all and Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah! I hope you all are enjoying your holiday season!

On our end, the holidays are not very holidayish at all. But we are making do.

I got the flu just before Christmas. This meant we hibernated. And packed boxes in preparation for our move next week. I was pretty sick and running a fever over 100 for two days (even though I did get a flu shot) before starting to feel better.

For New Year's, we are having dinner at home just the two of us (which is what we like) and packing boxes. I am taking the car for an oil change and getting my nails done in celebration of the holiday. Aren't we exciting?

Our biggest problems are packing and moving. Its so much work. Every room is full of boxes and more stuff to pack. It is very difficult for me to get too much packing done. I successfully make my back hurt every day. This morning I packed three boxes and now my back hurts so I am taking a break.

The last time we moved, we had a lot more going on. My soon to be husband was mobilized and spending all his time at Fort Drum. We were planning a wedding. And we were house hunting. It was a little stressful. But the big difference was I was healthy.

Now I am not so healthy and packing is much more difficult. I am not allowed to lift things (but I admit to cheating a little bit - maybe that is why my back hurts?) which limits me quite a bit. Its not fun.

So we will have a small New Year's dinner and get plenty of rest so we can continue packing tomorrow.

Happy New Year!

PS We are never moving again. But that's what we said last time we moved.

Ailments on a holiday

Today is Christmas and for Christians around the world it is a special day. Other cultures have their own special days - which should be respected just as much as the special days for your beliefs. Holidays are not a day to argue about which belief is better. Its a chance to relax and enjoy ourselves with our families.

It is not a shopping day nor a work day (unless chosen by the employee). Unfortunately the one thing that does not ever get or take a holiday is an ailment, especially a chronic one.

I have just a few ailments and am also recovering from the flu. After a night of insomnia (when I tracked Santa for a bit of fun on noradsanta.org) as well as lasting flu symptoms, I am a bit tired and possibly cranky as well.

I wish ailments would take a holiday from time to time. Shouldn't we be able to feel decent for a little while from time to time? It would be nice.

If you know someone with ailments who is not able to get out and spend much time celebrating the holiday, please take a moment to give them a call and chat for a while, even suggest a quick visit. (But never unexpectedly show up!!!! Us ailment people have a tendency to hang out in our pjs for longer than most and take naps.) Our ailments are persistent and we can use the company. So in the holiday spirit, take a moment to visit with those who would appreciate it most.

What did I miss?

I blog every day about events and issues that touch me. I also read a lot of other blogs as well. Many of them are on my favorite subject, cancer. Last night when I got home I caught up on the day's blog posts. Through them, I learned that I missed World Cancer Day.

I may have celebrated it in the past but through my chemo brain/fibro fog, I don't remember. I don't even know what World Cancer Day is about. Should I?

I guess its some kind of awareness or appreciation day to remember people with cancer. But this year it really isn't something I am interested in. Cancer apathy maybe? I am not sure.

My thoughts are that these appreciation days get to be too much. If every week contained a holiday or two, would they matter that much any more?

Maybe I just need a vacation. We have been blasted by snow recently and I have been stuck at home. I can't shovel because of my back and other health issues, so I can't just dig out of two feet of snow and hop in my car to go somewhere. Never mind the fact that we no longer have room to put snow anywhere.

Last week I didn't go to work on two days due to the blizzard and then had a cold so I worked only one day. This week we were snowed in on Monday and Tuesday this week so I finally made it to work yesterday. Snow fatigue anyone?

But back to my topic (I know I have a tendency to babble and get side tracked), I get so focused on my life that I sometimes ignore the rest of the world, or even my neighborhood. I am wrapped up in dealing with being snow bound, dealing with a very painful back, trying to lose some weight (the scale is obviously broken because it is going in the wrong direction), and coping with new prescription changes (thank you health insurance). I couldn't care less about what is going on in the rest of the day. Well I keep up with the news (and am completely appalled by the death of the Jordanian pilot) and try to stay current. But a little awareness day didn't pierce my little bubble until after it happened. Ooops.

Cancer doesn't have a holiday

If you have cancer and its Christmas, its not as fun. Holidays are supposed to be the time of families, friends, food, and celebrating, and depending on which holiday, gifts. But cancer doesn't take holidays. You can't take a day off from cancer. You can stick it in the back of your brain for a bit but it always comes out, some how.
If you are in treatment, you can try to participate in holidays. But chances are you won't have much fun. The year I was in treatment, I don't remember Thanksgiving as being that significant. But I don't think I did much cooking as usual because I felt like crap. Then Christmas wasn't much fun either because I had just had another lumpectomy because of a suspicious area.... I remember being tired and not doing much shopping or cooking. I don't even remember what I did for my birthday that year except I believe I had a Taxol infusion and none of the nurses noticed the date.

If you are post treatment, you can celebrate another year of being around to enjoy it but it may be more difficult to celebrate. Depression is common after cancer as is PTSD, so it just might not be as fun as it used to be. Financially you might be able to be as generous as you were before cancer - many cancer patients can't work after treatment or take a step back from their career during treatment. And then there are the medical bills that take a crimp out of their wallet. Physically you may not be able to travel as much or participate in as many activities because of limits to your mobility or stamina.

If you know someone who is coping with cancer, take a moment out of the holidays to reach out to them to say hello, give them a call, or send a message.

Me, how am I celebrating this year? A cancer friend is coming over this afternoon to enjoy a bottle of red wine which aged for a decade in her wine cabinet. Christmas Eve I will cook and then go out for Chinese food with my family. Christmas Day there will be eight of us for dinner - until I run out of steam and have to go to bed. Next week will be more family to enjoy. My diet will wait until then. And I will have to nap a lot.

In the meantime, I have to go for blood work tomorrow and get organized for a doctor appointment shortly after the new year. And I have to go get a copy of the receipt for my eye glasses so I can request a reimbursement from the insurance company. And I have a doctor appointment tomorrow.

See, cancer people don't get holidays. We squish them in between medical crap. But we are still here.

Holiday gifts!

Christmas is not about gifts. It is supposed to be about the spirit of giving and enjoying the season and all that. However Christmas gifts are given and received and are supposed to be enjoyable. But not always.

There are always the BAD gifts. You know the ones you want to regift them. That really ugly sweater. The electric wine bottle opener. The seventh calendar for the same year. The ham that was the biggest joke at a Yankee swap last weekend.

Or the gift of spending too much time with family members where all those old childhood issues begin to resurface as the time lengthens.

But then there are the nice ones. The things you really wanted and appreciate. Or the fun and unexpected ones.

Or then there are the other gifts - the unappreciated ones like back pain, foot pain, and more. I'll take a pill and a nap.

Happy Holidays

Today is Christmas and a celebration among Christians of both a religious day for some and a holiday celebrated by the spirit of giving and sharing by all. I hope you all spend a day sharing the things you enjoy with your friends and family.

Looking for holiday spirit

Its the holiday time of year. Holidays are fun. They are supposed to be enjoyable. You are supposed to anticipate them. I am not sure I have much holiday spirit this year. It seems to be missing

Now I am not the religious type so telling me its about the birth of our savior will not too much for me. But I can appreciate the significance for others.

You can tell me its about Santa - I stopped believing the year I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and saw my parents putting gifts under the tree. Santa also had suspiciously familiar handwriting.

You can tell me its about gifts. I am at the age where the last thing I need is more stuff. I mean there are things I might secretly covet, light a big, counter top stand mixture, but I really do not have room for one and wouldn't use it often enough to really need one.

There are other things I want - like to lose that pesky 30 lbs or be healthy again. If you can figure a way to give me both of those and find a cure for cancer, I would be most appreciative. And don't forget world peace while you are at it.

Don't get me wrong on gifts, I will give and get some. For my family I have long been on the road of edible, home made items. None of them complain about that either.

My husband and I have stockings hung (including one for the cat so he doesn't feel left out - it does have two cans of cat food in it which he may or may not eat depending on his mood) that will fill up mysteriously. We will also give each other a few gifts but we don't over do it.

My brother will show up a few days after Christmas and we will have a second Christmas with gifts for my nieces and nephews. That will be a big chaotic meal and may even include a Festivus pole - but we haven't gotten very far in the planning.

Yesterday we were the recipients of a fair amount of holiday spirit. A good friend has an annual holiday party with a Yankee Swap which includes an astonishing amount of alcohol and sports gear. We ended up with a twelve pack and a bottle of wine and a non-winning scratch ticket. But we also had fun and had lots of Christmas cheer.

On Wednesday we will have a fancy Christmas dinner with my parents, aunt, uncle, sister, and brother in law. We will eat too much. There will be some alcohol consumed. We will toast to the holidays and missing family members. We may even attempt a Skype session with out of towners.

But we will not really exchange gifts. Because holiday spirit isn't really about commercialism to me. I feel sorry for the people who are running around today because they feel obliged to find something to purchase for great aunt Bertha who they haven't seen or heard from since last Christmas. A big fat credit card bill is not an important part of holiday spirit.

What I need to do in the meantime, is figure out when I can get to the grocery store to buy the necessary food to make a fancy meal for us and how to fit all of us at the dining room table. Somewhere there will be some holiday spirit, I am sure.

Happy Halloween!

Today is Halloween. There should be no more Pinktober. There should be lots of kids around here dressed up in Red Sox uniforms with fake beards. There should be no more Pinktober. There should be candy bowls everywhere making dentists cringe. There should be no more Pinktober.

I am wearing an orange shirt and black pants and sweater to work to add to the mood. If I can find my hat from Cirque du Soleil, I'll bring that a long as well. There is no Pinktober.

I'm just happy all the Pinktober crap is over. Let's see if we can minimize it for next year.

Holiday thoughts

Today as Christmas, unless you somehow missed it and haven't heard about it, and many people celebrate it but not all. Recently a friend was blogging about how Christmas for her is different - she's Jewish and its her birthday. She doesn't get to celebrate her birthday on her birthday with her non-Jewish friends. The goyim are all doing Christian things like going to church and opening gifts. Other people have their own holidays to celebrate - Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, or other holidays at different that occur at different times in the year.

Whatever the holiday there are always are a few consistencies. Families who celebrate it get together and do their thing - usually eat, sometimes gifts or religious services too. Families who do not celebrate do their usual thing. Some holidays require businesses to be closed by law. Some holidays allow businesses to be open. Usually there are some kinds of restaurants open for non-holiday celebrants as well.

But there is one thing we should never forget there are some people who do not get holidays - think about it what is always working 24/7: public safety, military, medical professionals, emergency management people - do you think the guy at the nuclear power plant who is in charge of making sure there aren't leaks ever gets time off? Isn't someone supervising the internet somewhere to make sure a server doesn't crash - and tell me with all the servers in the world one of them is bound to crash every day.

On a holiday, I am sure all these professions allow for some juggling - well maybe not the military - to let people spend time with their families or allow them to trade off each year. But there is always someone there. If you are hospitalized, you don't get a day off to go home for a holiday meal - if you could they would send you away. If you are in a car accident or something, you don't have to wait until tomorrow to get fixed up in an emergency room - and the firemen, police officers, and EMS are all there to take care of you.

This past Friday, December 23, I had a doctor appointment at 3:10 pm. When I scheduled it I didn't think much of the timing of it but when I arrived at the hospital, it was clear it was a very slow time. The parking garage had several primo spots available. The waiting rooms were mostly empty. I was one of three people sitting in a waiting room which usually has a constant flow of patients and staffers in and out was very quiet. My doctor was running late and I didn't leave until well after 4pm. I had to stop by admitting where there was a single, young woman working. Even though it was a quiet time, everyone I saw was cheerful, pleasant, caring, and happy to do their job. They weren't complaining that they were some of the last employees in the hospital right before a holiday.

I saw this article earlier last week reminding us to thank all our nurses on Christmas for their care. I think there is a lot more than that. We need to thank all of those people who take care of us and make sure we are safe and healthy at all times. Holidays should be for everybody but we couldn't survive them without some help.

PS Happy birthday, Judy!

Thanksgiving chaos

This morning is a bit of Thanksgiving chaos. We have my brother, sister in law and four children staying with us. They arrived last night and we stayed up until midnight playing scrabble. Then this morning the first one was up around 6. We have had the normal range of what to eat or more correctly, what the children decide they don't like any more because they really want to cut the mask out of the back of the cheerios box - but they have to eat all of them first.

I have also made mashed potatoes, chestnut stuffing, and cut up vegetables for veggies and dip. However I havve successfully conned my brother into making carrot sticks. I think. I am still looking at peeled but uncut carrots.What this has done has made my back hurt already. A lot. But I have drugs. Hmmm.... A sedated Thanksgiving. That may not be such a bad idea.

Otherwise the cat is all stressed because there are strangers in his house messing up his nap space and times. Soon we are off to eat lots of food but the key is to remember to bring everything we need. Because of my lack of brain cells, I made a list. And lost my list (and maybe my mind as well).

We will eat too much and pretend a short walk will enable digesting of the vast quantities of food we will eat. Just another normal American holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

We are turning into a country of shopping malls

I am on a different bent today. Normally I find all things medical and health wise to blog about but today that is not what is aggravating me. I mean the pouring rain doesn't help - it needs to stop by 1230 so I can go out to lunch and not have to drive in a down pour.


Today I want to blog about corporate America - not in the Occupy movement sense but in how they treat their customers. First of all, retailers think they are doing customers a 'favor' by opening stores on Thanksgiving or as soon as they can after midnight. Here in Massachusetts, employees can't work until midnight so the stores will open at 1 am. They get an hour to get the store open before the onslaught arrives. But will people really go shopping at 1 am?

I was talking to a friend the other day who for 23 years has gone shopping with her daughter on black Friday at 5am, enjoying the first rush, shopping for a few hours and then going out to breakfast. This year the fun has gone out of it. They are not going to get up to shop at 1am. Their annual 5am shopping trip will lose its luster. Its the end of an era for them. I am not sure they will shop on Friday as a result.

What about that Target employee who put up an online petition to 'Save Thanksgiving'? He has over 196,000 signagture so far. There is an unofficial poll on CNN.com this morning where 84% don't want stores open on Thanksgiving. Do I hear some dissent in the masses here? Holidays are for employees too. They deserve some time with their families. Yes you can say if you don't want to work the hours, find another job. But in this economy there are not a lot of options for many people. Retailers are desperate for every dollar they can get. I'm not going to any store this weekend other than to take my 7 year old nephew book shopping for a belated birthday present. We will go to an independent store that is not in a mall. I will probably also shop on Cyber Monday to get a good deal for a coat for my husband that I have been waiting to go on sale but that will be at my convenience, not theirs.

In addition Consumer Reports has published their nice or naughty store list. This helps tell me where to shop or not to shop. The naughty ones include Verizon, Swiss Colony, Air Tran, Southwest Airlines, Sirius radio, Game Stop and American Apparel to name a few. But the nice ones include some of my favorite stores - Costco and REI. I can't find the actual CR article but at least a story about it.

Corporate America is unfortunately here to stay. However just because they try to tell us what we want and what we need, and when we should buy it, that doesn't mean we need to suck up to their whims. I won't shop in the middle of the night. I only shop when stores aren't crowded. I try to avoid the scams and to good to be true offers. I also try to buy local.

I think its time we vote with our feet. If we don't like poor customer service, tell them and stop shopping there. If we don't like the quality of their products, tell them, and stop shopping there. If they are the only store for miles around because they have forced out the competition (think Walmart and its evil practices on small town USA), and find another option. Maybe you can't go to a grocery store weekly but you can stock up monthly on the non-perishables further away and buy locally/non Walmart for the little stuff.

We also should remember money and goods aren't everything. If things are low cost, they are probably going to fall apart soon. Low prices don't mean good quality and good service. My last trip to Walmart resulted in rotten produce - it didn't matter if it was cheap in the first place if you have to throw it out and go shopping again.
Also, why do we need stuff? Its nice to give someone a gift, but what about a homemade one? For my family, they will get gift baskets of food I made and some yummy items I purchased. I have done this for several years and they are all happy. Less expense for me, I get to make cookies and eat a few on the way, and we don't amass more stuff. I really hate shopping malls and avoid them as much as I can. I also have a convenient bad back that allows me to refuse mall shopping trips by saying, I can't go shopping it makes my back hurt.