Am I making a bad decision?

Today is my last day of work. Well, I will continue to work one day a week from home and go to the office once a month until my replacement is found. And I will go into the office to help train him/her for a few days.

The reason I am leaving work is my health is not that great, in case you hadn't noticed. Even though I have cut way back on my schedule, I still am fighting fatigue and aches and pains. One goal in moving is to cut way back on expenses so my non-existent income will not be noticed.

Three years ago,  in the fall of 2012, I was diagnosed with both rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. (Actually it was exactly three years ago tomorrow that I announced this.) At that point I was working two jobs and a total of about 30-35 hours each week.

In early 2013, I resigned from my other job because I could not physically keep up the pace of working so much. It also required nights and weekends. In 2014 I started working fewer and fewer hours in my current job. Now I am down to about 8 hours each week, and I can barely keep up.

With the decision to move and reduce our expenses, it became much easier for me to decide to stop working. I am looking forward to having more time to take care of me.

During the next few months, I will have plenty to do with moving and the holidays and craft shows. Once we settle into a new house, I have no plans on staying home all the time. I would like to find some volunteer work to ensure I get out of the house and don't go stir crazy - but that would be fewer hours with more flexibility. I also plan to continue to go to the gym three times a week. My sanity is important.

But I must return to my original question of am I making a decision? I guess it would be a bad one if I was only thinking financially. But I do not have that luxury any longer.

Back to work....

Today I am back to work after almost three weeks off. I had to dig around to find a pair of pants and haven't yet found my shoes. Summer vacation means shorts, sandals and sneakers, not long pants and work shoes. Our lunches are made (yes I make lunch for both of us every week day) but the nice cat is out so I have to get him back in before leaving. The evil cat is busy plotting our demise....

Yesterday I had a good PT appointment. The therapist thinks that I probably didn't damage any major ligaments and probably only the meniscus, which sometimes does not require surgery. It depends how it heals and how badly it was damaged.

Also my rheumatologist thinks I am doing pretty well - this means no blood work for two whole months and no follow up for three months. Sometimes I have blood work every two weeks and appointments every six weeks so this is much better.

Finally my therapist is an idiot. Okay maybe a little harsh but she doesn't seem to understand my family dynamics so it  was a fruitless discussion. She may become my former therapist shortly. After every appointment with her, I wonder why I am still seeing her. But I try to manage the amount of change in my life and next week I see my new PCP for the first time. So the jury is still out but its not looking that good for her. The real decision is do I still need a therapist.

But now to find the cat and my shoes so I can go to work. Maybe they missed me....

I need to whine!

I'll just say that the best part of my day yesterday was calling my brother at 730 am and finding out he was on the west coast and it was 430 am. Sibling rivalry lives.

 This was my day yesterday:

Monday afternoon my phone would not work. I figured it has a dead battery (not an unusual situation for me) and I'll let it charge overnight and it will be fine. Tuesday morning it would not boot up. I tried everything. Finally I resorted to Google and found I could download a utility which would help me reset my phone (and since it was backed up, it didn't matter). But it took 45 minutes to download and install. Then I got a fail message. So I said GRRR (and WTF) and figured I would deal with it later. I unplugged my phone and it worked.

I got to work. We are about to get new paint, cubes, desks, and carpeting so everything is a bit chaotic. I carefully had packed up my office and desk and marked four boxes as being needed for my desk during all the chaos. There were only three boxes. And after some looking and research, it turns out my boss threw out my most important box (even though it was labeled). He did help me look through the recycling dumpster and we found about half of what I needed.

Then I couldn't connect to the f****ng internet. I tried everything I could and gave up and called our outside IT guy. He said he would be there in an hour and it then took about 30 seconds to fix it. (Why he couldn't walk me through that on the phone I have no idea.)

So finally I could get online and to the server, but I couldn't print. Because the person who was supposed to order toner for the main office printer a month ago, didn't because (a) she doesn't care, she has her own printer; and (b) see above. She apologized and said I could email her anything I needed printed. Half an hour later, I asked again and she hadn't even looked at her email because she (just found out she needed to pack her office and) had been busy packing up her desk. But the toner was due to arrive today and then she got an email saying it was back ordered so I guess she will be printing for all of us again tomorrow. And no I don't care if we all piss her off because she didn't order the damn toner a month ago.

Then I get to sit at my desk and get some work done. My boss stopped by and said he would see me next week. I said no I will be here Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday because I have way too much to do. He was surprised because apparently its a slow work week and he didn't think I would have much to do. My work level does not correlate to how busy or slow sales are. I'm marketing and IT so I always have something to do.

And then the cats pulled a dead mouse out of the kitchen cabinets. It was in a trap and my husband hasn't been checking them as often as he should. I did not need to see a dead mouse when trying to cook dinner.

My plan is that today will be a better day. I will not have to put on my cranky pants and be a b***h to everyone again. I also think that my health recently has not been cooperative so that I tend to over react to everything. I also do really like my job and my boss. Usually he is very nice and understanding. Yesterday it was just too damn much!

Deep breath. It will be better. And I can always claim too much pain from something and need to leave work for the day.

Back to the real world

I feel very out of touch. Its not that I have been on vacation or anything. I have been home sick since Thursday March 26. That would be ten days ago. I finally felt decent yesterday but apparently still sound horrible. My right ear clogged as well. But I feel fine.

I have a lot to do at work today. Work that has to be done today as well because there is a meeting too. I will be busy. I hope to survive the day and then even make it to the gym - where I haven't been since Wednesday March 25.

In addition to staying home from work, I feel like I have been hibernating and not talking to anyone but my husband. Well I have been on the phone with some people but its not like seeing and talking to people, just being around other people.

I find many ailments isolating, not just colds and ear infections. But anytime you aren't feeling well, you feel like crawling into bed and staying there until you feel better. But if its an ailment that isn't going away anytime soon, your pajamas become your favorite outfit.

But now that I feel good (for a while at least) I have to get to work and enjoy not being isolated. And I don't even have a doctor appointment until Thursday.

Expanding my life

I have a job now where I work 15-18 hours/week. I have actually had it for what is closing in on six years. I really like my job except for one issue. The commute. 20+ miles on infamous Boston are highways with a solid selection of school buses on both ends. I have told my boss the only thing I don't really like about it is the commute so he could feel free to pick up and move the company ten miles south and I would be happier.

I used to work a second job where I worked closer to 30-35 hours/week total. After RA and fibromyalgia combined with evenings and weekends required for the second job, I had to leave it. I sometimes wonder if I found a job which was closer and flexible could I work more hours.

So periodically I take a look at local job openings. I actually applied and interviewed for one last fall which was one mile from home, walking distance for me on a good day. Then they decided they wanted someone full time instead of part time so that was that.

Yesterday I saw a job posting at a non-profit who's cause is close to my heart but its 20-30 hours/week and requires one day a week in the office downtown. I am not sure I am ready or able to commit to a new job which requires one day a week in the city and many more hours than I currently am working.

Then this morning I am more intrigued. I found another job that is 10 hours/week and looks that it is pretty remote. What if I could add a second job which is ten hours/week and has flexibility and does not require regular office time? Could I do it? Could I expand my life and my paycheck to take on another job? Sometimes I feel I spend too much time at home watching bad TV.

This requires more thought. And hope that my health will cooperate as well.

Unemployment after chemotherapy

In May 2007, two weeks prior to my breast cancer diagnosis, I was laid off from my full time job. That is the last full time job I have worked. I was a rocket scientist and decided I could job hunt between surgeries and while going through chemo. I ended up returning to a part time job I had held before - lucky me, they had an opening.

Now it turns out I am not alone. New research (because we always need new research) shows that women who undergo chemotherapy for breast cancer are much more likely to become unemployed. (They didn't tell us about that little factoid when we were making treatment decisions.)

"Dr. Reshma Jagsi of the University of Michigan Health System and her colleagues studied 2,290 women in the Los Angeles and Detroit areas diagnosed with breast cancer between 2005 and 2007. They spoke with more than 1,500 of them four years later.

About 1,000 of the women were under 65 and interviewed both times, and of them, 76 percent had paid jobs before they were diagnosed.

The women who got chemo were less likely to still be working four years later, they reported in the journal Cancer. The researchers found that 38 percent of the women who got chemo were jobless four years later, versus 27 percent of the women who skipped chemo..."

"The findings don’t surprise breast cancer experts. “For the vast majority of patients, side effects are manageable and they can improve after, but some patients don’t feel fully functional for the long term,” said Dr. Jennifer Litton, a breast oncologist at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston."

In my case, I worked two part time jobs for a total of about 30 hours/week for a few years after chemo and radiation ended. Since my rheumatoid and fibromyalgia diagnoses I have cut back to one part time job for 15-18 hours/week. Sometimes that is even difficult.

Even with out RA and fibromyalgia, I am not sure I would be able to do my previous jobs again. As marketing director for a medium sized non profit, I was multi-tasking, putting out fires, and jumping through hoops as I hands on managed and over saw an on-and offline marketing plan. My brain is fried. I get tired. My chemobrain kicks in and I have no memory of what I did 10 minutes ago. I don't trust myself to do as much as I used to.

Now I do marketing for a small family owned business. When I took the job, we discussed the fact that it was clearly a step back for me career wise. I told them my life had changed in that I had gotten married and was looking for a job where I wasn't traveling, wasn't managing a bunch of people, and could go to work and go home. That has become even more real. 

Now I leave myself notes all over the place on what needs to be done because there is no way I could remember it all. I have flexibility to go to doctor appointments and for the days when I am too tired. I can manage my schedule around my health issues. And I don't have to worry that I might overextend myself because I can handle my little job.

This new research shows me that I am not alone and there are many other women out there who don't work or work in lesser jobs because of chemotherapy.

My goal this week is to go to work

In the past two weeks I have worked 12.5 hours. I usually work 15-18 hours/week so you can say I am a tad bit 'behind'. My job isn't the kind where I have these huge looming deadlines but one where I have a consistent pile of projects that I keep digging away to keep under control. So now all my projects are behind.

When I went out the door on Friday (and I NEVER work on Fridays - this gives you an idea of how far behind I am), I said to my boss, instead of telling him when I would be in next, that my goal was to go to work this week. He laughed. But it is very true.

I am going to work today on a Monday. I almost never work Mondays. My preferred work week is Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, from 8-2. A nice 18 hour work week. It gives me a four day weekend.

This weekend was a two day weekend. I hate two day weekends. I don't get enough rest. So today I am going to work for about four hours and then to the gym. I will be home around 2 I hope. Its supposed to be a beautiful spring day and I want to get out and enjoy it.

But I have to go to work this week.

I do have a secondary goal. I do not want to go to a medical facility this week. I have been driving both my parents to their appointments - my sister has been helping too. I have been at a medical facility approximately 3-4 times each week for the past month or so. This is between driving them and visiting my father. This has contributed to work rescheduling and working on Mondays and Fridays as well.

I need a break  from medical facilities.My brother is visiting this week. His role is that of chauffeur and deliverer to all medical appointments. My sister needs to get some work done on her car and this is her chance as well. Next week we will return to driving them after our break. I might even be caught up at work by then.

Elusive sleep

Once again a night of oh so elusive sleep. I can't even blame the cat. Saturday night he insisted on trying to wake me up all night long, alternating with periods of sitting on me that made my back hurt. I was a tad grumpy as a result and ended up cancelling on long scheduled plans with friends to go to a museum which I would have enjoyed.

One of the lovely benefits side effects of fibromyalgia is disturbed sleep. I know I have blogged about this before but I blog in the morning and lack of sleep is often on my mind. Maybe I don't feel as well because I want to go pick up some test results from last week  that I want to read before waiting for doctors to get back to me. A much more efficient system for me.

I also might be cranky about work. I really do like my job. I was hired as a part timer May 2009 and I assumed no benefits. About  a year later I noticed on my pay stub I was acruing paid time off. So I asked and was told yes it was true and I could use it. Then the big boss noticed this last week and I think that is going away. The problem is if you mistakenly gave an employee a benefit, you can't suddenly take it away with out some resentment. So this week I am mad at my job.

I'll get over it I'm sure but in the meantime I'm cranky. And lack of sleep doesn't help.

But its a dark and cold Monday morning. When I say cold, its in the upper teens right now, with a high due of upper 20s. Average is 43. I would prefer 43. Instead of 18 dark cold degrees right now.

See I'm cranky from lack of sleep. And maybe test results. I hope I sleep tonight. I don't want to be cranky all week!

Today I am a normal person

First I overslept (but still have time to blog - a tiny bit). I forgot to take all my pills last night so I have to figure out which ones I should take this morning vs which ones I should skip but I have to wait 1-3 hours before I can take any of them after my synthroid. That was after I put my pill box back together after dumping three days worth on the floor and having to sort them all out again. I think I am still missing two pills but as long as the cat doesn't eat them I can cope.

I wanted to leave for work early  but that doesn't look like its happening. I have showered. I have not eaten breakfast - I will do that when I arrive at work. I did make lunch for both of us. I have not yet brushed my teeth or my hair but my gym bag is packed.

Last night I was running around the back yard in my PJs at 10 pm with a flashlight looking for the damn cat who got out the basement door. This  morning I get an email from my next door neighbor that she has a raccoon on her back porch. I would generally not worry about the raccoon but since my cat is 18 years old, blind, deaf, and can't smell, he wouldn't know a raccoon until he walked right up to it.

Damn. I am now really late. Off I go as a normal person.... or as normal as I can ever be.

Balancing

As I now am happily employed at one job instead of two and have cut back at some volunteer efforts, I feel I am achieving some kind of work/life/health balance where I might be able to get enough rest as well as cash flow and not feel as if I'm running from one thing to another all day long.

My other job is almost at its end. I do need to tie up some last loose ends but that's it. I think they think I am leaving to work full time at another job but I'm not. Its because I have to cut back. This is very frustrating to me. But now its over.

I will miss parts of that job but life is all about balance. And my health is taking more of its share in this work/life/health balance than previously. I work my three day work weeks and then feel exhausted and need more rest.

I hope that my RA will get under control and I get more energy back. That would be nice. I go back to that doctor in about a month or so and will see how I am doing then. But for now I will have some sort of work/life/health balance (even if not mentally balanced).

Semi retirement

As a result of my health disasters changes through the past six months, I am going into semi retirement. This does not mean I am going to stop working completely - SEMI retirement only. Instead of working two jobs - one 20 hours/week and the other 18 hours/week, as of May 10, I will work one job 18 hours/week.

It was a big decision that I really thought about. I had to choose which job to leave. I made my decision based on the fact that one job is completely 9-5 and the other job requires nights and weekends and running around town picking things up, delivering things, attending events.

I cannot go from one job to the other job as I used to. These days, after one job, I need a nap and to rest for a few hours before making dinner. If I overdo things, I am in pain for days. Pain makes me cranky. My husband hates it when I'm cranky. It also means he has to cook dinner more often han h e wants.

I have a month or so to go for this transition. I am happy to know that they do have replacements for me.One of my big concerns was how would the organization handle my leaving? I know I provide a lot of the day to day energy to it and without me, it could take a big hit.

It took two people to replace me but that is probably better for the Center in the long term. One person starts right around my official last day and the other one starts a few weeks later so I will be available to help with training and explaining so they Center can do well.

Some day I  may be better enough so that I can go back to more work but for now I have decided this is what I need to do. I am not retiring, I am semi retiring where I will still work, but have more time for doctor appointments and naps.

Cutting back

In the past several months, I find I run out of steam between my two jobs, home life, social life, etc. I decided I needed to cut back on life - to allow more down time, naps, and sleeping in general.

Five years ago, I was happy to expand my life to add more work and do more things. That was great. I was through cancer treatment and feeling good and we even took a vacation to Acadia National Park for hiking and biking.

Then I had my gall bladder out and my back pains started. Now my gall bladder is healed and my back pains have a treatment plan so they are usually under control. unless I do things like stand, walk, sit, or lie down for any length of time. My life slowed down some. I stopped some of my more aggressive activities -  no more skiing down the fall line or bike riding for me.

I juggled and coped. I worked two part time jobs. I went to northern Wisconsin and rode a scooter on an island in Lake Michigan and enjoyed other vacations. I did volunteer work. I worked about 35 hours/week between the two jobs. I would usually work part of each weekend day

In the last several months, this has all become a problem. Between the RA and fibromyalgia, I need more time to rest between work and other obligations.

At my first part time job where I go to an office 15 hours/week. I have changed my schedule to be 3 six hour days one week, followed by 2 six hour days the next. This will mean meet my obligations but I get to have short work days where I can come home and rest as needed.

By the end of February my second part time job will be down to 10 hours. During March, I will take care of some specific obligations that were previously scheduled. Then as of April 1, I will not do any nights, weekends, or non-local events.

I can't. I tried. I go to a meeting at night and then need to sleep in the next day to recover. I need time off on weekends to recover from the week. I have six weeks left to get through before I can start my resting time. I will have a count down to see if I can make it.

From avoidance to cranky

I am in such a cranky mood. Let this be a warning to those who cross my path today. Yesterday I started in avoidance mood and ended up crabby. That when to grumpy. This morning I am cranky.

So how did this happen. I was in avoidance mode because of my doctor appointment which went fine) as fine can be with an hour of unexplained wait due to rude nursing staff who preferred talking about their boy friends, cell phones, caller ID, and the weather forecast).  I ended up with blood tests in six months and blood tests, ultrasound, and follow up in one year. That's just fine.

Then I had to go to a meeting which started early to accommodate someone's understandable scheduling request but was full of unorganized and critical people who were happy to nitpick and and express opinions but not volunteering for much work at all. I heard a couple of times 'are we done yet'? I may need to  remove myself from the committee. Not over the nitpicking - we want to do things right but because of the lack of help they are providing. But I was already crabby so who am I to complain?

Next we have a tiny snow storm forecast for tomorrow and well into Saturday which will spoil all my Saturday socializing plans that I was looking forward to. Yesterday morning we were in the 3=6" range, by lunch time the double digit predictions were appearing and growing. And I can't really shovel snow or go out in play in it much - I might break out the snow shoes (unless my husband hid them on me) if we really get the predicted two feet of snow.

This morning I have to go to work after a meeting last night - which means I didn't get enough rest. And it doesn't help that after work I have to go to another work related networking event. I can come home after work and rest for a bit but it still means going out another night in a row - can you say extra crabby?


On top of all this, we are having windows replaced in the house. The plan was to be done by the end of the day tomorrow. They had a slow start but have been making great progress. Our current agreement is that we will talk this afternoon and see if they can finish before the storm (doubtful) and when they can return and finish which means rescheduling the carpet cleaning and the cleaning lady and the room  painting. Our house is in chaos as three of the six rooms have been construction zones for ten days already.
Finally tomorrow, unless it is blizzarding by 8am, I will go to the gym and then go whine at my therapist and be home by noon, ready to be snow bound for 24 hours. Maybe I can take naps and get caught up on my sleep and required rest. But I have work to do after last night's meeting.

No blog post today

Today I have no thoughtful, thought provoking blog post. My mind will not focus which is a really bad thing.

 The big thing I need to do today is to finish my presentation which I am giving on Tuesday. 60-90 minutes on marketing plans, social media, and branding for non profits.

I have known about it since last spring. I started writing it this summer and  had big intentions of finishing it weeks ago but then I volunteered to take part in a panel which required tons of work on my part with some tight deadlines and three days out of town last week.

I was emailed on Thursday asking if my presentation could be ready at their office on Friday morning. That was a no. Now it is due tomorrow morning. It is about 80% done but I have not even done a read through yet to practice the oral part of my presentation.

On the good side it keeps me from thinking about my health which is in its usually precarious state.

Did I say I hate public speaking?

The wheels on the cancer bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.

The wheels on the cancer bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
The wheels on the cancer bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
The wheels on the cancer bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
The wheels on the cancer bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.

I am not looking forward to this week. I have a dentist appointment - which I never appreciate - and then things go down hill from there. I'll report on the results later when I am ready - it depends on what I hear when I will report.

But at the end of the week we are off for fun adventures so I have things to look forward to.

Work has been crazy busy. Both jobs have been crazy busy. I have too much to do and not enough time. Well I have enough time but not enough oomph to do everything. And the house needs some serious cleaning, even by my standards. The dust bunnies were encroaching. Last night I was bad (for my back) and vacuumed the living room. I usually leave that for my husband.

This morning, my husband who currently is on antibiotics said to me 'I hate taking so many pills'. I said 'welcome to my world.'

Otherwise I'm fine. I'm going out to breakfast and then off to the gym. Yes it sounds kind of backwards - should be gym then breakfast but that's the way my schedule goes.

Fired for breast cancer

It appears that Kathleen Mason worked for the most unreasonable and insensitive bunch of people around. She was the CEO of Tuesday Morning, a Dallas based retailer. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in January and February and was fired over the phone (over the phone - really?) three months later even though she had insisted that her diagnosis and treatment would not interfere with her ability to do her job.

Now I don't know all the facts of her diagnosis and treatment - what protocol she had - surgery, chemo, radiation or what. It is clearly her decision on being able to cope with treatment and her job at the same time. Many women work through treatment.

She also had the job for 12 years and the excuse was that sales have been down for recent years. If sales were down maybe they could have asked her for a plan of action to correct that but you don't fire a 12 year executive with out advance warning over the phone. Stupid and discriminatory.

And they want to keep her as a consultant for the next 10 years - meaning they still value her opinion - so why did they fire her? Did the word cancer scare them? Or were they just stupid as now they have lost a good employee, destroyed their reputation (I would boycott them if they were local), and opened themselves up to a lawsuit. Maybe not stupid, just chicken. And dumb.

Life after cancer treatment

A study in Sweden (because we needed another study) shows that 72% of women return to full time work after cancer treatment. The biggest factor in this seems to be those who had chemotherapy are less likely to go back to work.

I am not in the 72%. I work less than I did before. My situation is a bit unique I think. When we got married in 2005, I was working in downtown Boston. My husband would drop me off at the bus stop on the corner (thus motivating both of us to get to work on time). I would commute by bus and subway into Boston. By the time I got home, he would already have been there for at least an hour - thanks to his 10 minute commute. He would be relaxed and rested and I would be stressed out and cranky.

In the fall of 2006, I decided I had enough of my crabby boss who motivated people by yelling at them and decided to find a job closer to home. I started a new job in January 2007 and was laid off in May 2007 - two weeks before my diagnosis.

I quickly realized I could not job hunt while going through surgeries and chemotherapy and returned to a part time job at a local community education program that I had in the past. I stayed there for a few years and added a second part time job and left the community ed job and found another job. Now I work about 30 hours/week split between two part time jobs. I commute about 30 minutes each way to one and the other uses my living room sofa as my desk with my feet up on the coffee table. My cat is my office mate. This keeps me happy.

Juggling the two jobs allows me the flexibility to go to the gym three times a week, doctor appointments, coffee with friends, etc. Today is an example - I am getting my nails done (a very important meeting), then I have a meeting for my development job, and then am meeting a friend who lost her job for some networking. I'll be out until about 3 pm (note to burglars, the cat will be home so don't even think about it) when I'll return home and work a bit more.

I am actually using my brain for both jobs - they aren't just 'fill-in' jobs. The first one is a marketing job which is most of my background where I am in charge of websites, trade shows, out bound marketing, print materials, and all that other stuff marketing communications people do. I have had it for three years. It also gives me flexibility so I don't commute in snow storms or when I have (stupid) doctor appointments. The other job is development, fundraising, and outreach for a non profit where I plan events, write grant applications, and all  kinds of other fun stuff. I've been doing this for over two years.

I think I can handle not being in the 72% but I am not sure chemotherapy was my sole force in these changes. My marriage certainly made me feel stabler about working part time. My back probably would have gone bad anyway and who knows if I would have had all my other medical problems. I probably would not have gotten lymphedema with out my cancer surgeries. But for now, I see no reason to return to full time work. I could if I needed to but I think I'll stick with this for now.

A second career

I have reached a time in my life where I notice my friends starting second careers - either by choice or by happenstance. I have friends who have done all sorts of things. I think should I start a second career but then think I may already have.

I started working in marketing in the mid-1980's. I worked for several different companies over the years. When I got married, I was established in my career working as the marketing director for a non-profit in downtown Boston. I commuted by subway each day. My husband would drop me off at the bus stop on his way to work. I could get to my office in 35 minutes - seated at my desk in fact - after getting on the bus. Coming home took a little longer and I would get home closer to 530 or 6. My husband, who worked closer to home and had the 10 minute commute, would have beat me home by an hour. He would be all relaxed and ready for dinner when I needed to decompress for a bit.

I decided I needed a job closer to home with shorter hours (and a nicer boss) so my hours would more closely align with my husband's. I found a job ten minutes from home with nicer people. That job lasted about five months and then they hit the problem of  'can't pay their employees' so I opted to find another job where I could get a pay check. Two weeks later I got that pesky cancer diagnosis which ruined those plans. I diligently sent out resumes and followed up between surgeries and chemo. I was offered interviews which I ended up declining. Only I thought I could go to job interviews while in chemo.

I gave up the job search business and was offered a part time position back, that I had had before while between jobs years before at a local community ed program. And kept thinking about going back to work. After treatment ended and I recovered from gall bladder surgery, I decided I needed another job. I found one 15 hours/week about 30 minutes from home back doing marketing of all things.

I don't have a title. I am the marketing department. My title is just Marketing. I kind of like that. When I was interviewed I was asked if I was overqualified for the job. I said probably but I am happy not to be on the rat race any more. I said I wanted more flexibility in my life (which is true because I needed to be able to go to doctor appointments).

After another year my community education job came to an end sooner than I thought - we'll just say a co-worker thought I was trying to steal her job and made things very uncomfortable for me. I opted to leave instead of putting up with politics like that in a small office. I then found another part time job doing development for a local non-profit.

Two years later, I am still working two part time jobs and going to (damn) doctor appointments. I have begun to think I did get into a second career and instead of a mid-life crisis I had a second cancer diagnosis. Now I am a professional patient with a couple of side jobs.

What to do with all my time?

I have finally reached a point in my 'new normal' life after cancer number two where I seem to have gaps in my schedule. I was trying to pin point what happened and I decided it must be because I have been going to the doctor less and currently have no ailment which requires PT. In January, I had one appointment at the beginning of the month and then another at the very end of the month. In February I had a couple of medical adventures and then a week with three or four. Through some schedule juggling, I had two appointments last week and don't have another until the end of the month. I think I have two on my calendar for April. In May I have two days with medical adventures planned.

Combine this with a slackening in my work schedule for one job where now I only need to go there two days a week instead of the three I had been going in for the last six months, I have gaps in my schedule. What about the rest of my time? Maybe I need to start having a life again. I could work more, um, doubtful. House cleaning - um, no. I could work on my knitting more. I could garden and go for walks more when the weather warms up. Yesterday I worked from home, went for a walk with a friend (where we ran into two adult coyotes in a local park), and had time to attempt to make homemade pasta. (Note to self: next time make sure you have enough flour before starting so you don't have to substitute coarse ground whole wheat.)

Today I get to go to the gym, work from home, and go to a seminar this afternoon. Then I might even be able to work in the garden and clean dead winter stuff out for a bit.

I haven't had this much time on my hands in years. Before cancer number two, I was working full time and didn't have as much time. Now I work 30 hours/week and, with fewer doctor appointments, I have time to do the things I enjoy with out running from one thing to the next.

(And the advice I received on what to do when you see a coyote - stop, look at the camera, say 'beep, beep!' and dash off.)

On strike!

I think that everyone deserves the right to stand up for themselves and protest what they disagree with. I mean if you don't like the way a business treats you, you can vote with your feet and take your dollars elsewhere. If you don't like your salary you can find a new job or ask for a raise. Sometimes you can even go on strike. I don't really like strikes. I find them a bit excessive and costly in the long run. Life is full of the choices we make and we need to life with the consequences. If we choose a job and don't like the pay, find a new one. If we drop out of high school, and then spend our lives in jobs asking 'do you want fries with that?', we can't go on strike to say that its someone elses' fault we made that decision.

Yesterday I heard something on the radio about London taxi driver's being on strike because they wanted more  holiday pay - they had to work on Boxing Day a public holiday and wanted two more days off. I am not sure of all the details but basically if taxi drivers are on strike, people will find other ways to get around so they won't spend their money on taxi fares. In the long run, they may start to avoid using taxis and the taxi companies lose income which doesn't help them or allow them to easily pay their employees more.

There was the Verizon strike this summer where management was harassed and ended up in several criminal arrests. I am not sure how much that helped the workers cause. I mean they were upset with management and wanted more compensation but if they resort to criminal activities as part of their strike, I think management might be less inclined to be nice to them in the future.

But another strike is a bit more serious. There are 10,000 doctors on strike in Rajasthan, a state in India, protesting pay rates and promotion opportunities at the state hospitals that cater to the poor and want to be on par with their federal counterparts. Maybe they have a valid point and should be able to strike. They are finding other doctors - from the Army and elsewhere to fill in - and 420 doctors have been arrested for being on strike. Unfortunately this can result in consequences for the patients. The government claims no deaths yet but how long can this go on with interim plans?

This leads to the question - does everyone have the right to strike? Are there other ways to show your disagreement with your bosses. While I think everyone has the right to protest, I am not sure about doctors striking. Don't they swear to the Hippocratic oath that says to do no harm? But if they are neglecting their jobs on principle, aren't they potentially doing harm? Their job is to care for patients and by neglecting them, they are not helping their cause.