Life with chronic conditions

I may whine complain about a lot of the crap I deal with in my life. I also may be a tad cranky about getting my meds so I don't hurt all the time.

I have a therapist for talking about stuff and I have a meds therapist who keeps me on an even keel. So any issues with depression are held back. I have people to talk things out with. And I know my ailments are not in my head.

I get exercise to help maintain my body as much as I can before my ailments compromise it further. Its not age that is doing this to me.

But so many people just don't get it.

I have a friend with a chronically bad back who has a fair amount of pain. But she doesn't see a doctor about it. She does occasionally see a physical therapist. She has no prescriptions for pain meds because she gets her sister's prescription. She doesn't exercise regularly. And she doesn't understand how I live in pain and have to beg off on group events or leave early. Since she's there and in pain she doesn't understand why I can't stick around.

I also have friends who want to go out at night to do things. Since not much is allowed to get between me and my 930 pm self imposed curfew, I don't go out much. If I do, it needs to have a comfy chair that provides good support. And it can't include any amount of walking or standing.

Finally I have an expiration period. If I am out too long, I spend a long time recovering. So if a friend is late and I spend time waiting around for them, especially if I am standing, I don't get to fully enjoy my time out and end up leaving early to go home and rest before I need to spend a couple days recovering. Therefore I don't spend time with friends who are late.

My husband does understand me. He claims that if I do things I shouldn't or for too long, I am crabby for a day or two. Apparently he doesn't like me when I am crabby. Maybe I should rip off that fake smile and let my inner crabbiness show and then more people might get it.

Lessons from famous cancer people

Just because someone is rich and famous and survives cancer, it doesn't mean they can invent a new way to cure cancer. There are a few I would like to mention here. I have nothing against these women at all but am concerned about the weight their name carries and how many followers they have simply because of their fame.

Suzanne Somers - she has a book out on chemo free treatment of cancer based on interviews with doctors. I'm sorry but there is no way to globally dismiss or prescribe any type of cancer treatment without a one-on-one conversation.

Farrah Fawcett declined conventional, FDA approved cancer treatment which would have required major surgery and resulted in needing a colostomy bag for life and went to Germany for a different treatment. Which unfortunately was painful and did not work in the long run. This reminds me of the families who went to Mexico for Laetril treatments in the 1970s. If its not approved here, there may be a good reason for it. And running overseas may not be a good idea.

In a recent article in AARP, long time friends, Melissa Ethridge and Sheryl Crowe talk about their cancer treatment successes. While I found the article interesting, I was not too thrilled with the last image:

Melissa 'turned off' her BRCA gene by eating better. And Sheryl meditates so that her cells function at a higher level.  I'm sorry but you can't turn a gene off. Its part of you. And maybe meditation helps you but it doesn't mean it can cure cancer. Being healthy can help you reduce your risk of cancer but don't think daily meditation will keep you healthy.

I can go on. These four women are ones who first came to mind. If you are rich and famous you have access to the best care and the best types of supplemental treatments from personalized workouts, professional chefs, and expensive organic food and personal doctors. But that doesn't mean your treatment is going to work for anyone else. And please be clear on that to your fans and followers.

Cancer causes

Let's see how I do on this one.  The American Association for Cancer Research just announced the preventable causes of cancer in the US.

1. Tobacco - I quit that a few years back
2. Cancer made me fat. I wasn't fat until breast cancer treatment.
3. I have no idea about cancer causing pathogens.
4. I go to the gym 3x each week and get 1 hour of cardio each time followed by 30 minutes of weights, machines, and stretching.
5. Fruits and vegetables every day. A minimum of two pieces of fruit by noon followed by salad and/or green vegetables with dinner. 
6. I have never been to a tanning salon but do go to the beach. I don't remember the last time I got a sunburn.

So let's go back to the 'why me?' question.... No let's not. Anyhow more discussion on this can be found here. I'm doing the best I can.

Germs, germs, germs, and more germs

Germs are everywhere. We need the good germs to build our immune systems. I am not a germaphobe..... You will not find me using hand sanitizer unless there are absolutely no other choices. I do practice the basics. I wash my hands regularly and especially when cooking, before and after the gym, after using the bathroom and all that. But 100% germ killers aren't good. They kill the good and bad germs.

 With my immune system I am told that I should avoid sick people and blah-blah-blah. I ignore that part and live my life. I refuse to live under a rock. I go out in public. I don't hang out with people with a cold.

But there are a few germs which concern me. The flu so I get a flu shot. Maybe I'll get a pneumonia shot as well. I also have gotten the booster for whooping cough and the others. I am concerned that if Ebola got here, we would have problems. That disease that is affecting children all over the Midwest is not a good thing.

We need to have ways to get rid of the bad germs but keep the good germs in life.

Living a better life

I have decided I need to take steps to improve my life (well our lives because this includes my husband). This has taken some thought to get here but I have come up with these:

1. We need to eat better. I talk about it. I try to but not there yet. I can tell this because of my bulging waistline. My husband has a similar problem. More vegetables and grains. Less fats, etc. You know all of that but there is always room for improvement.
2. We need to do more things together. Last weekend we on a day trip adventure to an ocean front state park in New Hampshire, just over an hour away. We walked on shady trails, sat on the rocks and watched the ocean roll in and admired the view of the offshore islands and closer lighthouses. Then we went for a late lunch, a little shopping and home. I have already planned our next trip in a few weeks. We need time at home this weekend to get some things done. Besides it would be less fun if we went on a day trip every weekend.
3. I need to take better care of my appearance. I get regular hair cuts and get my nails done. But I dress like a slob I have decided. A casual top and dockers does not a fancy outfit make. I used to work in Boston in an office where wearing a suit was considered suitable. I stopped working in the city 7 1/2 years ago by choice and have gotten very casual. I actually went clothes shopping and bought some tops that push my boundaries of being a little dressier and even bought a dress(!). Today is the first day of new attire at work. We'll see how it goes. My husband does dress nicely every day in a button down shirt and sometimes even a tie so he is not a problem here.

That's it for now but I think its plenty.One step at a time. I have found being sick allows me to get more casual. Who spends time on their appearance when you feel like crap? Also, business offices where I have worked have gotten more and more casual over the years. Where I work now, jeans do appear on co-workers.

This is part of living a better life. I need to do other things but I'll get to them. Getting together more often with friends. Going out more socially than I have been doing. Step by step we can live a better life.

Over-Awareness, Focus, Hype and Expectations

The media did a damn good job about making sure we all knew about Angelina Jolie's double mastectomy. She went public, if I recall correctly, to raise awareness about the BRCA gene. I respect this decision and congratulate her on a brave decision to take something very personal and make it public.

In a recent survey, three quarters of us did know about her surgery and decision. Considering that it happened less than a year ago and and was much less significant than a war, earthquake, typhoon, etc 75% is a pretty good number.

I would also like to point out that all those years of breast cancer awareness and pinkification have allowed this to become a major news topic and not get buried under the carpet or something. However the information stops at awareness.

Only 10% of those asked in the survey knew about Angelina's BRCA diagnosis and why she had the mastectomy. I think I am okay with this. If you are not embedded in the breast cancer world you can't be expected to know chapter and verse about the genetic causes of breast cancer.

For example, I know there is some family genetic trait that leads to Huntington's disease and don't really feel I need to know more about it because it does not affect me directly. If it did, I would be up on it and have read all the research.

I think we have reached a level of breast cancer awareness that is overdone. But I do not think we need to expect that all American's know the great details of a breast cancer diagnosis and all its risk factors. There are many other diseases and ailments that deserve more awareness and shouldn't be hidden behind a pink curtain of over-hype and over-awareness.

I do think Americans need to embrace overall awareness of a healthy lifestyle and not focus on a few diseases at a time - the ones that are closest to them and causing them the most problems.

Am I that bad off?

These days it seems that people who know me are constantly asking me how I am doing. Hmmm.... Am I that bad off? I know I do have a fair number of ailments but I don't think I am that bad off.

• I know yesterday I was driving to work and realized that I forgot to bring a wrist brace to work, so I stopped and bought another one. My arm was already hurting on the way in so I knew I need one to get through the day.
• I did two craft shows this weekend and people were telling me on Sunday and Monday that I looked and sounded tired.
•  am going to the gym after work tonight and my husband has instantly assumed that he will have to cook dinner. 
• I don't seem to be expected to do as many things with others as I might have in the past because I might not be up to it.

It has taken me a few years of telling people that I am not always up for things because I need to rest or take it easy and now it seems to have gone too far in the other direction. I almost feel like I am being coddled.

But then I watch people doing things that I used to do and cant any more - downhill skiing and getting airborne off the moguls, cross country skiing through the woods - up and down the hills and dodging trees, winter hiking in the mountains - and think maybe I am not as capable as I used to be. Crap.

I'm trying for remission - from RA that is

There really isn't such a thing as remission for solid tumor cancers like I have had. You can get to remission from systemic cancers like lymphoma or leukemia. With solid cancers basically there is just no evidence of disease, or NED.

But I do want to get to remission from Rheumatoid Arthritis. This is supposed to be the goal of RA treatment. It is not very common. The rates range between 5-50%. How optimistic.

True remission is defined as no symptoms, and xrays show the disease is stopped, joints are no longer being damaged. I could live with that. Clinical remission means you feel better but joint damage continues. And near remission means your symptoms have been reduced and your day to day functioning is improved. I could live with either the last two either.

I need to talk to my rheumatologist about this when I see her next - whenever that is. I have no brain. Being healthy is my goal..... Some day.

Do I have to be an adult all the time?

Do you remember as a child when there was a monster in the closet? You could close your eyes very tightly and hide under the blankets and it would go away.

Wouldn't it be nice if it worked as an adult. Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all - like a vacation from all my health issues. The problem with health issues is they go on vacation with you. How annoying.

Sometimes I wish i could be a child and climb a tree, hanging up side down. Or run and jump into the pool - the jumping is the hard part. (Also being a chicken about cold water doesn't help.)  Or being double dared to ride your bike down the hill, no hands. Or chasing the boys out of the no boys allowed club (we had one).

But I digress. I need a vacation from ailments too. Not just a tropical beach. But a healthy body on a tropical beach. Or a hike in the mountains where I can go a decent distance, and even carry a pack. Skip that, I'll have a sherpa to carry the heavy stuff but I still want to walk.

As part of having the ailments, they follow you everywhere. They lurk in the background in that little corner of your brain saying 'whats that next test or visit going to show'? Its really hard to turn that part of your brain off. And most of them aren't going away, ever.

So the monster lives in the closet in your brain that you can squish your eyes shut and hide under the covers from it. Damn.

I don't want to be an adult all the time. It takes all the fun out of everything. Maybe I need a second childhood.

But I'm not that sick (or I didn't think so)

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend. She is someone who has had breast cancer twice, two mastectomies and every complication on the planet. We talked about all sorts of things, including our health. We had a 'healthy' meal of Chinese food. Not to say that Chinese food in general is bad for you but we ate the unhealthy things like fried egg rolls. And we gabbed about all sorts of t hings.

At the end of lunch we parted with the intent to get together for lunch in a month or so again. She said to me 'take care of yourself' in a way that made me realize, she really meant it. I guess she thinks my health is really that bad.

I don't think of myself as that unhealthy but I guess I am. I have to schedule my life in such a way that I allow down time to basically crash for a few hours.

I do have some health concerns plus a few worries on the horizon. But I go to the doctors - many of them - in the first week of October where these will start to be addressed. I am not discussing any of them until my doctors and I get to discuss them and decide on next steps. (Its my blog and I get to decide when I will discuss them.)

But I'm really not that sick (or I didn't think so). I'm not about to drop dead at any time soon. But I will say its hard to develop healthy behaviors when your health is regularly going in the wrong direction.

That sucks vs. I'm sorry

One thing that drives me crazy is when I say something about my health and I get the reply of "I'm sorry". I always think, WTH are you sorry about? I don't want your pity. Its my life and I'm living it as best I can.

Yesterday I went to the gym which I love and is full of dilapidated people like me, and worse. There are people that come in with oxygen tanks, one leg, club foot, orthotics, lymphedema sleeves, you name it and its a fashion statement there. Everyone is there with the goal of getting healthier. That is everyone but me. 

I am there to prevent losing more health - the basic things like flexibility, balance, and strength. A year ago I could do a lot more than I can now due to my RA and fibromyalgia. If I try to work harder, I end up regretting it for a few days after. I maintain my workout, going every other day, and slowly inch up increases. Then, inevitably something happens, flare, get sick, vacation, and I get set back and slowly start working my way up again.

The gym also runs different programs and 'contests' a few times a year. Things like a team weight loss challenge where the team losing the largest percentage of weight wins bragging rights. They get to sell extra training as a money maker for them. Anyway, I got to the gym yesterday and the young woman working the desk asked if I was I was interested in joining their 8 week fall fitness program. You get an assessment on your abilities to do whatever - planks, crunches, reps, etc - and then work with a trainer weekly for six weeks and get another assessment. At the end the team with the biggest increase wins bragging rights.

I was asked if I would like to join. I said that due to my RA and fibro I am not looking at increasing my work out but maintaining what I do without set backs. Her response was "well that sucks". My response was "Exactly!"

I was very happy not to hear another lame "I'm sorry". That made me feel better.

In the parking lot in the gym there is a shrubbery with a hole in the side. Now apparently it has two cute, furry residents.

Preventive Medicine or Too Much of a Good Thing

When do we draw the line for preventive medicine? The latest ASCO guidelines for high risk, post menopausal women to prevent breast cancer recommend proactively taking Evista, Aromasin, or Tamoxifen to reduce risk. I had already heard about Tamoxifen but not Evista or Aromasin.

When I first read this the first thing that jumped into my tiny chemo-fogged/fibro-fogged brain is this a big ploy by the pharmaceutical companies to generate millions of new patients? That would be a huge conspiracy theory that I immediately pushed away.

The next thing that leaped into my tiny chemo-fogged/fibro-fogged brain is that its getting to be that we need to stop enjoying ourselves and live preventatively with no fun? The guidelines end with:

"If you have a higher-than-average risk of breast cancer, it makes sense to do everything you can to keep your risk as low as it can be. There are lifestyle choices you can make, including:

• maintaining a healthy weight
• exercising regularly at the highest intensity possible
• limiting or avoiding alcohol
• limiting processed foods and foods high in sugar
• eating healthy, nutrient-dense food
• not smoking"

I felt this is getting to the point of  ridiculousness. I mean 'healthy, nutrient-dense food' - can you please define that? I am sure it does not include chocolate or ice cream. If I went to the grocery store and asked for 'healthy, nutrient-dense food', I think they would look at me like I was crazy.

And exercising regularly at the highest intensity possible? This is getting to be too much in my book. Just tell me to live healthy and I can handle that.

I am not dissing ASCO here. They are a wonderful organization but I think that this is overkill.

Yes preventive medicine is a good thing but this is too much. I'm sorry.

Living with pain

Every day my morning starts with 'ouch', 'ow', 'owie', and more. And my husband looks at me and says are  you sure you are are okay for whatever my day is planned. I say yes and suck it up. And maybe take a pain pill.

Yes, that's my life. I don't ask for pity. I cope. I take steps to work on my pain.

I have upped my arthritis medication and go back to my rheumatologist in July. I also have a 'procedure' (which involves sedation and lots of needles) on at the end of June which will alleviate a lot of back pain. I see my primary care (well her nurse practitioner becuase she will be on maternity leave) also in June where I will talk about my hand pain from the stupid (untreatable) ganglion cyst and my knees' general lack of cooperation with my desire to live a pain free life.

All those fancy pain medications you see advertised won't help me much. I have already tried the fancy ones for fibromyalgia and they haven't done much for me. And the other fancy medications, the biologics, for rheumatoid I can't take because of my cancer history, blah, blah, blah.

I am being honest here. I usually am honest in my blog but sometimes I elusively play with the truth and am not as open about some topics. What I do is I withhold the truth until I want to talk about things.

I mean living with pain is not like living with cancer or anything but it does kind of suck in a way. I do get all the good drugs.

But as I said before I am not asking for pity. And if I anyone says 'I'm sorry' to me about this post, I'll be sure to smack you silly next time I see you.

 

This is an ad for a CNN Special called "Escape Fire: the Fight to Rescue American Healthcare" which premiered last night (after my bedtime so I recorded DVRed it and will watch in the next few days).

It was included with this article titled US Manages Disease, Not Health which states that though Obama care represents change and has the goal of helping more Americans get health insurance and access to health care. But tjhat is the wrong question to answer.

They claim the real question that healthcare reform needs to answer is: "How can we improve medical care so that it's worth extending it to more people? In other words, how can we create a health care system that helps people become and stay healthy?"

Personally I would like to believe that both questions should be answered. We need everyone to have access to health insurance and health care and we need a better medical system that helps people become and stay healthy.

As this article claims more focus needs to be on prevention and keeping people healthy where treatments are less expensive and less arduous. We do need to focus on healthier life styles. More exercise - go for a walk instead of watching tv. Provide better food - meaning less processed food, fewer ingredients.

I have seen changes which help make Americans healthier by offering free annual physicals as a preventative measure. There has also been a movement coupled with the recent recession where people are eating healthier, farmers markets are showing up everywhere, and there has been public awareness of the dangers of obesity.

But we have a long way to go. We need health care reform, we need to focus on keeping people healthy, and we need financial reform in the way doctors, medical centers, and insurance companies pay and charge fees.
 

How to be a (un)healthy person

As I used to be a healthy person but can probably safely say I am no longer a healthy person, I must be highly skilled at being an (un)healthy person.

• I can easily put myself in pain by doing basic things - bending over, stretching, moving the cat, looking for things, picking up my laptop. I no longer rush to get to the phone because it can be painful (the rushing part).
• My bedside table collection of medications and supplements has been relocated to my closet shelf - as it has outgrown its original space. And is still growing.
• I carefully plan my activities to try to limit pain levels. My husband recommends on activity per day and I am reluctant to admit he might be right. Yesterday I attempted two activities and spent three hours in bed after the first one so I never made it to the second.
• Doctor appointments and phone calls get first priority in the scheduling of my life.

As a result of my current (un)healthy state, I think the world should make the following changes to accommodate me (because I am the most important):

• Those little grocery carts everywhere. I can't push around traditional grocery store carts because they make my back hurt. I cant carry a basket of stuff because of lymphedema and hand, elbow issues. I need a little cart or my husband to come with me if I can get more than a couple items.
• Special working hours so I can sleep in at least one morning a week. I cant get up more than a few days in a row with the alarm. I get really tired and need to sleep in - at least until 730 - a few days a week. Last week I had to get up six days in a row and was really dragging.
•  Cooking lessons for my husband. He cooks better and better these days because he has been getting plenty of opportunities to practice. He is pretty good and just needs encouragement for the nights I am simply too tired.

Today I have carefully planned my time. I made and ate breakfast (organic Greek yogurt and pineapple). I will start the laundry (after it is carried down stairs) and we will walk down to Walgreen's, drop off one prescription, go for a short walk while it is filled and pick up the four filled prescriptions (three for me). I even feel I know the pharmacy staff at this point. Then I will go to a friends for brunch and then back home to recover. A phone call with a friend this afternoon as I finish laundry. How's that for an exciting day?

Tomorrow I really want to sleep in as I am working from  home. I hope to make it to the gym or for a walk with a friend.

The life of an (un)healthy person requires lots of rest and medication. I will keep practicing.

I'm feeling very healthy these days

In fact I'm feeling as healthy as a horse on the way to the glue factory. It seems every ailment I have had in recent years (except cancer) has come back to haunt me. You name it - sprained ankle - check, sore knee - check, tennis elbow - check, bursitis hip - check, sore back - check, lymphedema - check. I feel awesome - ouch, owie, yow, every time I move.

I had my annual physical last week and the consensus is I'm not going to die of any known cause anytime soon. But I have to wear my wrist brace day and night for a month to see if my tennis elbow/possible carpal tunnel will quiet down. I also had an ankle x-ray to see if I really or only slightly redamaged my ankle. I need to talk to my pain doctor about more injections for my bursitis. And I need a fasting blood test in the next couple of weeks.

I'm feeling so healthy that with record high temperatures forecasted for today, I am going hiking with some friends this morning. How smart is that?

Getting rid of toxins

This has been a newer fad or rage or whatever you want to call it - getting rid of toxins in our lives and living happier and healthier. We now know to skip the aerosol containers, teflon isn't good for us, and nuclear waste is dangerous for a long time. There are the people who do a 'cleanse' where they eat healthy and drink weird things to purge their digestive system of toxins. (I'm not a fan of that one.)

The latest media hype is the toxic relationship - get rid of the people or relationships which are unhealthy for you. I can understand this. Do you have a 'user'/toxic friend? You know what I mean - the one who takes and never gives? Or the one who always talks about themselves and never wants to hear what is going on in your life? Or the one who constantly makes everyone wait on them? Or the one who never can get together - they say they want to get together and constantly cancel? Or the one who criticizes you and your choices continuously? Or the ones that are deceitful or untruthful? Some times it is the boss who motivates their employees through public humiliation. Or the co-workers who throw you 'under the bus' constantly or present your ideas as theirs? I can go on and on. These relationships can also occur between siblings, family members and spouses as well as friends and colleagues.

Toxic relationships are ones which hinder your happiness and cause stress and other problems. It is not a good relationship if they never do their share to help support it. A relationship is a two way street and both sides need to contribute. A relationship doesn't require daily contact to be a good one but it requires a level and quality of communication with which both sides are comfortable. Sometimes we need to take a step back and regroup and focus on getting rid of toxins in our lives. This may include cleaning out your kitchen cabinets or refrigerator, quitting a job, and ending other relationships.

I may have changed in the past few years and my feelings on this may have changed as a result. Through cancer treatment and then ensuing periods of recovery from gall bladder surgery and restrictions in my life due to my back issues, I no longer feel it is important or required that I waste time on toxic relationships or situations. I require a certain level of quality in the things I do in the more limited time that I have. I weigh opportunities to socialize and interact based on the physical and emotional effort required to participate. I can't just run off for a day of shopping with a friend as that would result in a few days of pain after to recover. If I go to a party, I can't stand around for hours chatting, I will need to sit down. But if I am sitting in the living room in the only chairs and all the action is in the kitchen (why do parties always end up in the kitchen), why did I waste my energy on a situation which causes physical pain? So correspondingly, why do I want to spend time with someone who causes emotional stress?

Sometimes relationships end because our circumstances change. Maybe we move far away. Maybe we change jobs. I have friends who I used to see regularly on hiking, snowshoeing, or skiing trips. Now because of my back I don't participate in those activities so we have grown apart. If I see those friends, I am happy to spend time with them but since our activities don't intersect anymore, we get together much less frequently.

Life goes on and we change and need to accept that. We re-prioritize the important things in our lives. We do not mean to offend or hurt others but sometimes we need to move on. A social 'detox' is sometimes what is needed to regain or retain a feeling of happiness in our lives. Just was we clean out the toxic chemicals in our cabinets, we clean out the toxins in our address books.

Fixated on our health

As a country we are fixated on our health. The media, when it is not focused on that political process that is very annoying right now, is obsessed with healthy fixes for the new year, New Year's resolutions, eating right, exercising, losing weight, dieting, blah, blah, blah. I figure, if I can't beat 'em, join 'em - but I'll skip the political crap (and crap it is) and stick with the healthy stuff.

Somewhere I read recently that the key to losing weight is 70% exercise and 30% food intake. Or is it the other way around - but since I can't find the link I am not sure. So I'll just plan on doing both.

Since the media seems that we can't read articles any more and need slide shows and lists to learn anything.We can read about controlling portion size or skipping fat free foods and the need to pump iron in slide show format. What happened to reading paragraphs? Is it because memory and mental function have started to slip by age 45? Or is it because we are a bunch of dumb Americans who are not educated as much as other countries?

We obsess about obesity prevalence, laziness, going to the gym, lack of exercise, blah, blah, blah. What happened to common sense? Eat good foods, get up off our sofas and move around, stop getting in the car to go everywhere and walk a little bit, take the stairs not the elevator. Skip the fast food and eat a salad. Take time to stop and smell the roses. Then ignore the political crap and have a nice day.

My resolutions

I have been thinking and finally have come up with a few resolutions for 2012. They say that 80% of New Year's resolutions fail. So why should I bother? Because I want to. You will also note that I am not biting off more than I can handle either. So here they are:

1. I resolve not to have cancer in 2012. See that's easy. I can say that. I've had it twice so now its someone else's turn. Maybe I am a bit selfish but I do feel its not my turn this year.
2. I resolve not to develop any other new medical ailment in 2012. My life for the last six years has been a series of medical crap.
• 2011 - fall, strained tendons in knee, knee injections, tennis elbow, etc.
• 2010 - I can't remember what was new but I had lots of PT, doctor appointments, lymphedema stuff, and back injections.
• 2009 - sprained ankle, developed back problems, became best friends with the pain clinic, etc
• 2008 - gall bladder surgery
• 2007 - breast cancer, chemotherapy, radiation, three surgeries, became best friends with the cancer clinic
• 2006 - fibroids and hysterectomy
3. I resolve to get serious about this deflabbification project. I have started losing weight since I joined a new gym last February. This year I have signed up for a weight loss challenge that the gym. For 8 weeks, they split up those who sign up into 3 teams. We get weighed weekly and the winning team which loses the biggest percentage of weight lost wins something - I can't remember what it is but its really just to motivate me. I also can sign up for 8 30 minute personal trainer sessions for the eight weeks for a really cheap price. If I am on the deflabbification lifestyle, by default, my husband is as well. So I have double-dared my husband - which ever of us who loses the biggest percent in weight by the end of March has to buy the other a nice something. I also plan on not going on a diet but changing our eating habits.
4. I resolve to be a perky cheerful person all of the time. Those of you who know me may question this one but when life gives you lemons,you need to make lemonade, vodka is optional. But when I am on the medical roller coaster with some back pain as well, I tend not to be as perky as I may seem. But I am working on this. Besides, when I am perky, it often annoys my husband which is an added benefit.

So those are my resolutions. I think they are doable. I am not promising to lose 20 pounds (which would be nice) but to take control over the flabbification. More medical ailments are just out of the question out at this point. I have put aside world peace, tolerance, and political niceness for now. This year I will focus on me. I am catering to my inner two year old - mine, mine, mine!

Taking care of ourselves

Look, another article on increasing health insurance costs! Wowie kazowie! Health insurance rates are going up! Maybe a little less than in the past but still they are going up - which is the wrong direction. Woop de doo! I want an article saying health insurance rates are going down. But we know that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Anyway, its just another article in the long line of articles on rising health care costs to which we are now very accustomed and basically expect them.

This one includes a video from an insurance company big wig as he tries to justify the increasing rates in another 'if-we-can't-kill-them-confuse-them' explanation but he does make some valid points.

One of the biggest reasons for increasing health care costs besides an aging population and technology and medical advances is that we, as a population, are not taking as good care of ourselves. We are fat and lazy and as a result have all sorts of ailments as a result. While I am not a fan of insurance rate increases and our health system overall, I think he has a few valid points. We are our own biggest supporters and our own worst enemies. We owe it to ourselves to get off our butts, eat right, get exercise, brush our teeth, and all that good stuff.

The increase in health ailments, such as cancer, can be attributed to increasing industrialization, longer lives, and pollution among other causes. But they also can be attributed to the fact that as an industrialized nation we have all sorts of 'modern improvements' that made life easier - no more trips to the outhouse and ringing out the clothes by hand - that have made us lazier and lazier. Packaged, prepared, and fast food have made life easier but have increased the chemicals and fat grams we consume without having to get out of our cars and have pretty much eliminated the need for taste buds.

We owe it to ourselves to make the effort to take better care of ourselves - which is the one part of the health insurance mess we can control. We might feel better as well.