Having Fun With Other Friends

Recently I blogged about being aggravated and frustrated when having lunch with a couple of old friends. I was very upset by the end of that lunch so much that I woke up aggravated and frustrated the next morning. I knew it was time for a change. I won't be spending much time with either of them any more. I know they are upset. Well I am upset too. Sometimes its like talking to a brick wall with some people.

Since cancer, I can no longer count the number of friends I have lost. There was one old friend who I reconnected with on Facebook after breast cancer. We were talking about lunch sometime, until I told her about my breast cancer and instantly she was no longer available. There are many others too.

I have also had people who have become so toxic and negative I can no longer emotionally afford to be in contact with them. I have blocked them on FB, blocked their phone numbers, and more. As my health declines I can't afford the stress of toxic and negative people.

So what have I been doing with my time? Making new friends and having fun with other friends - the nice supportive kind.

I've been busy. This week I have already been out for a nice dinner with a friend and her husband and son and my husband, out to lunch and shopping with another friend, and today I am going to the Garden Club. I have plenty of people to have fun with.

I don't need to deal with people who stress me out. I feel like this is a win for me.

What A Beautiful Day!

After I stretch, I'm going out for my last long run before the Boston MArathon. I'll stick to a few shorter runs between now and then. I did well enough int he New York Marathon two years ago to qualify for Boston. Next year, I might run London again or maybe switch to tris...I mean why not, I'm doing pretty well these days.

Tomorrow my husband and I are going to clean out the garage and power wash the floor. We have a lot of heavy stuff to move out but I think I can do it. I'll probably paint the dining room later.

Next week, I'm going to focus on weight training and do the spring yard clean up. Its full of debris from the winter's storms.




APRIL FOOL!


Today its snowing to beat the band and my back hurts..... Did I get you? I'm no healthier than I was yesterday - which is not very healthy at all.

"Ma'am, on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the healthiest, can you tell me how healthy you are?"

"I believe I'm a negative 37....."

I Took A Day Off

My husband has a long weekend so yesterday we took a day off. Together to just hang out and relax. It was nice.

We drove up to the ocean. It was high tide , windy, and cold. But we walked a little on the beach. I made a big mistake and turned my back on the ocean . (NEVER turn your back on the ocean.) A wave came up behind me and I got sea water and sand in my shoes. Not a good idea. But then my husband got the bright idea to put my socks on the dashboard in the sun. And I turned on the defroster and dried my socks. And dumped the sand out of my shoes.

Then we did a little shopping, had an unhealthy late lunch with  view of the ocean and came home. We just needed a day together.

It was a nice day.

Don't Go Quietly

Somewhere out there is a birthday/friendship card about the friend you want is not the one who will bail you out of jail but the one who is sitting there with you in jail talking about how much fun you had. I want to be the instigator who got us arrested for something like 'public embarrassment' and I have a couple of friends who would be sitting in jail with me.

I have two old friends who might be sitting in jail with me (you know who you are - don't deny it). One is a friend from college and one is someone who I started working with in the mid-1980s - you know who you are!

Back in 1981 I was told I had thyroid cancer and I should take it easy for the rest of my life, get plenty of rest, eat right, blah, blah, blah. I then thought about it and decided I would not play in traffic but I wasn't going to stay home and do nothing. (Hence, 10 Club Med vacations by myself but that's another story.) I have also done a lot of other travel, adventures, and finally some medical mis-adventures.

But I have also learned to cultivate a list of heroes, of people who I admire who have not gone quietly. Just last week, I learned about another person who did not go quietly. That is how I want to go. I'm still working on the details.

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

What if...

What if we just said f*ck it all and pretended were healthy? We might need to take our meds but what if we just went back to the way we were when we were healthy? I could go skiing, hiking, travel more, be thinner, and, most importantly, be happier.

Last night a friend was going to call me to chat and I fell asleep before she called (just after 8pm). Then of course I was up in the middle of the night thinking more deep thoughts, while feeling all my aches and pains, of course.

So what if all of us with  multiple ailments said 'I'm sick of being sick and am going to be healthy again and do all the things we want.' I would love to go hiking again. I climbed the Grand Canyon once so I'm good there but it might be nice to hike more in the Sierra Nevadas or Rockies where I haven't done much hiking. An adventure trip to Scandinavia sounds like a lot of fun as well. Or just stay up late enough to have a social life? Is this asking too much?

Right now my body would protest but I am tired of listening to it and want to say 'f*ck it all' and run away and join the circus.

All of us unhealthy people have inner healthy (skinny and younger) people trying to get out. I want to let that person out and have fun again.