Another Year Goes By

We are at the end of another year. This one for the country has been filled with amazing ups and downs and controversy and more controversy. All I know is I have survived another year, even if I have yet another horrible cold. But what I don't know is how did I do on last year's resolutions?

Do you keep track of your resolutions each year? I know I never do. But I'll get back to that.

So each year, I make resolutions so that I will work on making changes in my life. I have a feeling, in fact, that I make the same resolutions every year. I honestly wouldn't be surprised about that at all. I think I probably want to lose weight every year.

People are creatures of habits and habits can be hard to change. Take anything from losing weight to eating more vegetables. You are good for the first few days and then fall off the wagon. And then there you are again. We all create our own vicious cycles.

You weigh yourself and go on a diet because of the shock you just got. You start to lose weight, feel a bit better, and weigh yourself again. You have gone down a couple of pounds so you celebrate by eating a jelly doughnut and a skipping your salad for a couple of days. So you weigh yourself again, and start over again.... and again and again....

Next time, don't weigh yourself at all (leave that for the doctor's office and their big fancy scale), go on a good diet and don't have a jelly doughnut for six months when you can wear pants two sizes smaller even on your 'fat' days. Wasn't that easy for me to write?

So there you have it. I wrote the problem the solution and still haven't done anything about it. Now I am going to peek at what my resolutions were for last year (because I have a blog this is actually easy). This was last year's resolution:

"I have a resolution finally for the new year: I will stop using my blog as a place to whine, especially about moving. I use my blog to write about issues which matter to me which recently has included a lot of whining about moving."

And the year before which was actually a repeat of the year before that:

"Younger
Thinner
Taller"

So I think by now, I have gotten past the younger and taller part but am still working on the thinner part. But now I have to get rid of my own vicious cycle and leave that part out. That is the part that should be my resolution. Skip the diet part and get straight to the vicious cycle. 

I know part of that: I can't exercise as much because of my health issues. I can't exercise more because of my health issues. My health issues can cause me to be depressed and stress eat. So it all goes back to my health issues.... 

I am way too far off topic here. But not really. Another year has gone by and it is behind us. It is time for me to move on to get past my personal vicious cycle. It is time for the country to get rid of its own vicious cycle of division and hate and to move on to working together.

Resolutions

As the year end approaches, I contemplate my wishes for the coming year. I may be a bit different than most because of my health but here goes:

• I wish for another year without a cancer recurrence or new diagnosis.
• I wish for another year without new significant health issues.
• I wish for approval for social security disability insurance.

I don't think they are big desires but they are important to me. Like to be healthy-ish would be nice. And the disability insurance would help my wallet.

A resolution

I have a resolution finally for the new year: I will stop using my blog as a place to whine, especially about moving. I use my blog to write about issues which matter to me which recently has included a lot of whining about moving.

Whining about things never really helps so its a non productive waste of energy. I have many other things I could waste my energy on - like going to the gym. That might help lower my stress levels it since I have a cold still again, that's not happening any time soon. That may be part of my problem. I have had a cold or ear infection or flu since the middle of December. And our moving is causing a huge amount of work and huge amount of stress. And more work and more stress.

I could blog about my health - I mean that is what my blog is supposed to be about, not about whining.

Whining is also a pretty negative way of coping. I need to cope positively, not negatively. Once the road to negativity starts, its hard to get back on to the sunny side of life positive side. Its a slippery slope and I need to stay on top of it.

I did blog about coping and sense of humor a few weeks ago. I need to get back on the humor side. I need to laugh at the crap life is dishing out more often. My husband did laugh at my hair this morning - which is helpful after a night of little sleep

One resolution is all I need for this year.

Standing up to the idiots

Okay I finally have a real resolution for the new year. I feel I can sum it by saying 'standing up to the idiots'. What I mean by this is that I no longer feel the need to politely step aside and keep my mouth shut when idiots try to tell me what to do.

With my health, I get lots of  'advice' on how to 'cure' myself or to rest up so I can participate in an activity. Now I feel the need to stop being polite and to speak up and politely tell them to be quiet. For example, if I have a back procedure, it is not going to cure my back. Its going to relieve some pain for a while. I repeat, it is not a cure. There is no cure for me. I am stuck with my health the way it is.

My goals are to slow progression of my RA, keep my fibromyalgia under control, and hope there is no cancer reappearance. I think I have real expectations for my health.

The idiots don't understand. I don't get to go to a lot of events and do things that involve much standing or walking or much of anything. Their frequent advice on maybe resting up ahead of time doesn't work for me. If I do too much, I pay the price by resting for a few days to recover.

It is time for me to stand up to the idiots. Maybe I would do better if I consider it educating them.

Happy New Year!

So it was a late start for the year as its 330pm and I'm just blogging now. Its New Year's Day and I don't have much for new resolutions this year. I'll just repeat prior year's:

Younger
Thinner
Taller

Especially thinner. I have a new medication that is supposed to kill my appetite.No signs of that yet but I am always the optimist.

Resolutions for 2014

I suppose it is time to come up with some New Year's resolutions. Since I doubt I will come up with a cure for cancer on my own, I will think hard and find some others.

1. Be healthy - this will be harder for me because my body does not seem to cooperate. Most people will have a much easier time than me. I should probably rephrase that as not to develop any new ailments or have my current ailments get any worse. Ha! As if that will happen.
2. Lose weight. I really need to as I have never been so fat in my life. But as life would have it, I am back on Lyrica for my fibromyalgia and it comes with that lovely weight gain side effect. I need some new medications with the side effect of weight LOSS.
3. Exercise. Not more exercise but still exercise. I go to the gym three days a week. I can't go more because I end up in pain. I usually walk with a friend once a week as well but we haven't connected recently. Exercise really helps me keep my ailments in check.
4. Eat better.  This means less fattening food. I try to eat well but breakfast is one thing. I just had a fat free Chobani vanilla Greek yogurt with a handful of wheat Chex on top. I should add a banana to that. But then there are snacks and things (like the evil snack box at work and coworkers who bring in doughnuts and leave them in my view in the kitchen). We'll see how the rest of the day.
5. Stop spending money on stuff I do not need. I can go to stores and end up buying stuff I really do not need. I'm not a shopaholic as a rule but I feel I won too much crap that I don't need. I haven't been buying clothes because I want to lose weight and fit into the clothes I already own.
6. Learn some new knitting techniques - like how to make a hat using double pointed needles, Entrelac knitting which I just found about it and it looks really cool.

I think that's about it. There are probably somethings I have forgotten or just can't remember due to chemo brain/fibro fog or whatever the hell it is but that's my list for 2014.

Does one out of four count?

I'm slightly better than others because the data says 80% of New Year's resolutions fail. I made four resolutions at the beginning of 2012, and only achieved one. My resolutions were:

1. Not to get cancer again in 2012. I didn't. I mean there are things that are under supervision but no new diagnoses.
2. Not to develop any new medical ailments in 2012. FAIL. I now have fibromyalagia and rheumatoid arthritis so I have all sorts of new stuff to learn about.
3. To lose weight. FAIL. I upped my personal deflabbification project and I didn't lose weight. Well I did and it came back - see #2 above which made it harder to exercise. I think I weigh exactly the same as I did a year ago but I am still motivated.
4. To be a perky cheerful person all the time. FAIL. Again see #2 above which makes it difficult to be perky and cheerful all the time when one is in pain, tired, and cranky. But I still manage to be perky occasionally which really annoys my husband so that is just a bonus.

Well now I have time to come up with new resolutions for 2013. I'll think about it and get back to you in a few days.

In the meantime, Happy 2013.