Managing Emotions

This week I read two different blog posts from other women dealing with breast cancer - Nancy wrote about cancer patients being told to be positive and Florence wrote about the crappy and the happy we deal with in our lives. After reading them, I commented on both. And then started thinking (sorry!).

First of all we have the issue of cancer patients being told to be positive. Honestly, whoever came up with this was an idiot. There is something to be said for not succumbing to depression while dealing with a medical disaster. If you are depressed, you aren't going to take your meds, go to the doctor, get emotional support. But if you are trying to stay positive you will probably handle it better. However, don't tell me to be positive and smile.... Grrr....

Then we have the issue of coping with the crappy and the happy. Everyone gets a load of crappy in their life and a load of happy. But its how we handle it all. We have to learn to balance the bad with the good and look at the goals for the long haul and take enjoyment out of what we have.

Even without adding in a medical roller coaster along with everything else, it can be tough to maintain one's sanity and be able to smile once in a while. Its that medical crap that can screw everything up. All of a sudden you can't work, you have problems getting around and paying your bills. And you are supposed to smile? Don't tell me to be positive on top of all that. I will work on being able to keep a smile on without your help.

I think I just don't like being told what to do.

Being positive

My  mother said to me yesterday that I always sound more positive in person than in my blog. I try to be positive all the time. But sometimes its harder than you might think. And that is why I have my blog - for venting. You may think there are other purposes but really I blog to vent. A friend sent me a long email yesterday to vent about her health and I suggested she start a blog.

But being positive can be like putting lipstick on a pig. You try to make it through the day with a smile but the smile can be harder to maintain as time moves on. Until you get to a point where you just say the hell with it and start telling the truth and the smile just disappears until a good night's sleep or pain pill kicks in.

Then there is the continued effort to live with the expectation that the next medical appointment will not bring some 'interesting' news.

My next doctor appointment is in a couple of weeks with my endocrinologist or the 'thyroid cancer doctor follow-up'. Last year's was very stressful, partly due to the ultrasound people who demanded new scans without telling me why and an idiot nurse who 'forgot' I was sent back to ultrasound. I am not sure how I feel about this year's. 

I can try to see about being positive and will keep lipstick on the pig for a bit. For now, until something changes.

Positivity

Healthline as part of their numerous efforts in caring for and providing information to patients has put together 14 inspiring breast cancer quotes. A few are below and you can see the rest here.