My mother said to me yesterday that I always sound more positive in person than in my blog. I try to be positive all the time. But sometimes its harder than you might think. And that is why I have my blog - for venting. You may think there are other purposes but really I blog to vent. A friend sent me a long email yesterday to vent about her health and I suggested she start a blog.
But being positive can be like putting lipstick on a pig. You try to make it through the day with a smile but the smile can be harder to maintain as time moves on. Until you get to a point where you just say the hell with it and start telling the truth and the smile just disappears until a good night's sleep or pain pill kicks in.
Then there is the continued effort to live with the expectation that the next medical appointment will not bring some 'interesting' news.
My next doctor appointment is in a couple of weeks with my endocrinologist or the 'thyroid cancer doctor follow-up'. Last year's was very stressful, partly due to the ultrasound people who demanded new scans without telling me why and an idiot nurse who 'forgot' I was sent back to ultrasound. I am not sure how I feel about this year's.
I can try to see about being positive and will keep lipstick on the pig for a bit. For now, until something changes.