Learning to live like a healthy person

Here is a goal for me for the year: Learn to live like a healthy person. It doesn't sound that complicated but it is.

Here's a brief recap of me in case you forgot any ailments:

• 2 cancers
• 8 surgeries for cancer and hysterectomy, bad knee, gall bladder
• Rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, degenerating disks in my back, left arm lymphedema 
• Depression and anxiety (I feel I am entitled based on the other bullets)

 I feel like I might be missing something but that gives you the basic idea of with what I have to cope (is that grammatically correct?). I can't remember because of chemobrain/fibro fog. See I knew I missed something!

So to think like a healthy person:

1. I can't let myself think that any ache and pain is a new cancer.
2. Nor can I let myself attribute any new ache or pain is an existing ailment or a side effect of a medication.

I need to put all of this aside and relearn to think like a healthy person.

• An cold needs to follow the three day rule - if it doesn't improve in three days, call the doctor.
• An ache or pain needs to do follow the five day rule - if it doesn't improve in five days, call the doctor.
• Dripping blood still needs to go to the ER... well maybe, it depends on how much blood.

If I can stop hyper-focusing on my health and learn to think 'if I was a healthy person, what would I do' every time, I think I can get more balance back into my life. A nice goal in life.

World Cancer Day

Today, February 4, is World Cancer Day. The target of the day is to Debunk the Myths surrounding cancer.

World Cancer day started a few years back. They presented signatures to the United Nations in 2011 with the goal by 2025 of:

There will be major reductions in premature deaths from cancer, and improvements in quality of life and cancer survival rates.

I like their way of thinking. They set up a list of targets and this year is to Debunk the Myths. You can go to their website and see more details on the myths and their other targets.

To show your support for this day, if you had cancer you are supposed to wear purple. Hmmm.... Isn't that labelling? I hate labels. I am not the S-word. But I want to show my support.

Today I am taking a family member to chemotherapy so will be hanging out in the oncology department. How much purple will be there?

My compromise is a purple patterned shirt and purple undergarments. Am I a weenie? I'm not sure. I just hate the labels.

I digress. Today is World Cancer Day.  Show your support by learning more about it and seeing what you can do to help.

Does one out of four count?

I'm slightly better than others because the data says 80% of New Year's resolutions fail. I made four resolutions at the beginning of 2012, and only achieved one. My resolutions were:

1. Not to get cancer again in 2012. I didn't. I mean there are things that are under supervision but no new diagnoses.
2. Not to develop any new medical ailments in 2012. FAIL. I now have fibromyalagia and rheumatoid arthritis so I have all sorts of new stuff to learn about.
3. To lose weight. FAIL. I upped my personal deflabbification project and I didn't lose weight. Well I did and it came back - see #2 above which made it harder to exercise. I think I weigh exactly the same as I did a year ago but I am still motivated.
4. To be a perky cheerful person all the time. FAIL. Again see #2 above which makes it difficult to be perky and cheerful all the time when one is in pain, tired, and cranky. But I still manage to be perky occasionally which really annoys my husband so that is just a bonus.

Well now I have time to come up with new resolutions for 2013. I'll think about it and get back to you in a few days.

In the meantime, Happy 2013.

My goals

Now these are not by any stretch New Year's Resolutions - that isn't until next week so I have lots of time left to procrastinate on them. These are goals of things I want to do. I mean besides win the lottery or find the cure for cancer and stuff like that. These are just some basic goals.

I have been reading other people's blogs for as long as I have been blogging. Most of them are written by other cancer people. I also hang out online with all sorts of healthy and unhealthy people. I have learned a lot about how people regard life with their ailments. I know what I think but sometimes I am a slacker.

Okay, here they are:

• I will not succumb  to the 'woe is  me' attitude. So I had cancer twice now (and am still here) but it is not a case of woe is me. I will prevail.
• Cancer is not going to kill me anytime soon. I don't care what stage you are, your cancer is not necessarily what is going to kill you. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow just like anyone else. If you are Stage IV, it is still true for you - a bus could come your way. So why live like cancer is what is going to do you in? And with treatment these days, there are people living out there for decades with metastases. So my goal is to live as long as possible.
• There is a lot more to life than my list of ailments and boxes of pills and doctor appointments. I can't do some of the things I used to be able to do - like skiing off the top of the headwall into a big bowl of powder snow, or climb big mountains, or whatever. But I still can do a lot of things and have fun doing it. 

I think that's enough for today. I need to get some work done and clean the house in preparation for house guests (well sort of clean). But I do have to get to work.

Goal Setting

While I admire goal setting and see it as a great strategy for getting things done. Goals need to be attainable. If you overestimate what can be accomplished, you set yourself up for failure. This means letting down yourself as well as everyone else who was relying on you.

If you set a goal of "I will lose 20 lbs before bathing suit season". Well that's good. But are you trying to do it in 2 weeks or in 3 months. The 3 month time frame is much more realistic as healthy weight loss is around 2-3 lbs/week. Attainable is 3 months, unattainable is 2 weeks - and if you don't lose it, will you be depressed and eat more?

The National Breast Cancer Coalition, or BreastCancer2020.org, was formed in 1991 and in 2010 added the aim of ending breast cancer by 2020. If you read their website now it looks like they are going after politicians.

From their blueprint:

"What does the end of breast cancer by 2020 mean? By January 1, 2020, we must understand how to prevent people from getting breast cancer in the first place and how to prevent them from dying from the disease.

NBCC will have a strategic plan in place to achieve its mission, will have implemented much of it, and will have obtained support and partnership from leadership among all key stakeholder groups."

If you read their 2012 progress report, which they say progress has been made but you need to read this report with their 2011 report. To me, it looks like a lot of spin. They are 20% through their deadline but I didn't see 20% progress.

Now MD Anderson in Texas has announced they are launching a new $3 billion war on cancer where they have assembled a team of specialist with two goals. They want to reduce the number of deaths from a group of cancers by 2020.

"...Dr. Ronald DePinho, president of the large cancer treatment and research center, is launching this project in two parallel tracks: "One is to apply the existing knowledge, to make a near-term impact in this decade," he said.

"The second is to also say, 'We do not know everything we need to know to ultimately cure the disease.'"

The cancer center calls the program "an unprecedented effort to dramatically accelerate the pace of converting scientific discoveries into clinical advances that reduce cancer deaths."

"The Moon Shots Program signals our confidence that the path to curing cancer is in clearer sight than at any other time in history," DePinho says.

Doctors at MD Anderson believe that dying from cancer can eventually be as rare as dying from pneumonia. And DePinho believes this can happen sooner rather later for patients suffering from the following five types of cancer:

• lung cancer
• melanoma
• triple negative breast cancer and ovarian cancer (which are very similar on the molecular level)
• prostate cancer
• acute myeloid leukemia/myelodysplastic syndrome & chronic lymphocytic leukemia (blood cancers)"

Is this goal a little more attainable? I don't know.  I admire both sets of goals. But what if they don't attain them? 2020 is 7 years and just about 100 days away. Can they do it? How many of us will be let down and discouraged if they don't?

Those who are living with cancer hold on for the dream of the cure for cancer. It has been talked about for decades and centuries and by putting these very short deadlines on it, will it make a difference?

What is this new normal business?

You get cancer, have all sorts of fun medical adventures, and then are supposed to reach your new 'normal'. Isn't that some sort of oxymoron? I mean normal is defined as:

Adjective:	Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
Noun:	The usual, average, or typical state or condition.

So if you were normal before (not that any of us are really normal), you are supposed to become normal again but a different kind of normal that is now your new normal. Does this mean I have to consider myself abnormal before? How many times do you get to have a new normal? Am I now in my third normal since I had two cancer diagnoses?

Or is this a lot of hooey designed to make us feel better? Life is full of life changes - everything from moving, changing jobs, getting married, having children, icky (for the lack of a better word) medical diagnoses - that we change and cope. We are constantly evolving and adapting to the changes in our lives. Darwinism lives as we adapt to the bumps in the road of life. So where is this 'normal' they (and that would be the mysterious them) tell us we should have? Are we supposed to pick a point in our lives and say 'I was normal then'?

These life changing events are just what that says 'life changing' you can't go back and undo them. 9/11 changed the country and can never be undone just as cancer changes individuals. Is the goal of finding a new normal unattainable? When do you know you have reached your new normal? Is there a little sign in the road of life? I say skip this normal business and focus on adapting through changes.

A bad start

As part of my personal deflabbification project, I had my three month evaluation at the gym yesterday. It is also a prelude to my first paid personal training session this afternoon. First of all my weight is exactly 0.6 lbs more than it was at my last weigh in in October. The trainer said that is probably just lunch and the holiday pigging out but still it is in the wrong direction so it is a bad start.

Our next step in the evaluation was to figure out what I can do for exercises in my PT sessions. The answer is she is going to think really hard and come up with some things for later today. These are the things I can't do in terms of working out - no treadmill (because it has a little bounce and is bad for my back), no twisting, no weights over 15 lbs, no heavy weights over about 2 lbs on left because of lymphedema,  no exercises with weights on right arm that involve bending my elbow because of tennis elbow, and I can only work out every other day because of my back and bursitis. But otherwise I can do anything I want. She called me 'limited'. This will be interesting. But I am determined.

I have a bet with my husband as well so there is money and ego on the line here. Which ever of us loses the greater percentage of body weight before the end of March gets bragging rights and a gift. Bragging rights are the most important.

We have been doing weekly weigh ins at home and my weight has not been going in that much of the right direction. Very aggravating.