Pre and Post Cancer

There is a picture of me around here from back when we were dating. My then boyfriend-now-husband asked me for a framed photo for an occasion birthday/Christmas done by a professional photographer. So I went to a local studio and had a picture done where I look young and healthy. The picture has been some place packed away for a while but now is featured prominently in his office, also know as our second bedroom.

As I walk by that picture these days, more frequently now considering where it is now positioned, I contemplate, me post cancer. In the picture I have long hair with natural blonde highlights. I was a good thirty forty (lets be honest) pounds lighter. I also look happy, healthy, rested, and younger (well it was 12 or 13 years ago).

But what really strikes me in the picture is changes that have ensued. Since then, besides getting married, I have been through a cancer diagnosis and the ensuing roller coaster, gall bladder removal, numerous back procedures, and diagnoses of degenerating disks, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis. I have also battled things like depression (and you wonder why?) and anxiety (figure that one out).

At the other end of this ordeal, I am fighting the battle of the bulge in a serious manner. My hair some how lost its ability to get natural blonde highlights when it grew back after chemo. I now keep it short. I used to have long hair because I was too lazy to go to the hairdresser regularly.  I never used to get my nails done, but their importance grew after I lost several in chemo.

The pre and post (second) cancer me are very different. My life has changed in many ways. I am happily married, I do not work (because of my health). And I cope with my physical limitations, which are not all due to cancer.

We made big changes in our lifestyle. We moved further out from the city because I don't work and I needed one floor living. This was a very positive change. In addition, I have focused on learning more crafts - crochet, knitting, and now weaving. I also started my knitting group at a cancer support center, another positive change. I need to focus on more positive changes in my life.

My life is so different than what it was. The good changes are getting married, living in a one floor house, and learning to be more creative. I wish I had not gone through the cancer crap and other medical sh*t.

I do not consider this a new normal (that whole concept is inane to me), which was supposed to be my life one year(!!!) after cancer. This is my life. I can look at the picture of the younger, healthier me, and wish I was still as young and healthy, and that is it.

I blew out my flip flop

Yes it really happened. We went to Sanibel Island for a week which is why I haven't been blogging about me much. And the first day we got there we went down to the beach in our flip flops and stood in the surf and I really did blow out my flip flop.

It was a wonderful relaxing time. And our tenth anniversary. Since we got married, my health has tanked. Let's review the last ten years of my health:

2005 - Massive internal infection due to necrosing fibroids which led to hospitalization and a few months later a hysterectomy.
2006 - I was fairly healthy, for a year.
2007 - Breast cancer diagnosis in May followed by two surgeries, chemo, and ending the year just before Christmas with another lumpectomy.
2008 - Radiation and gall bladder surgery. And my back started causing a lot of pain.
2009 - Back MRI and diagnosis of degenerating disks
2010 - Lymphedema started and treatment for my back. A badly sprained ankle with a chipped tibia and other longer term issues.
2011 - Back treatments and injections began. And I got tennis elbow and developed Raynaud's.
2012 - PT for my tennis elbow and more back injections and procedures. And diagnosis of RA and fibromylagia.
2013 - Osteoarthritis in both knees with synvisc injections. All sorts of fun with RA issues.
2014 - More RA issues, a few colds caused by low immune system. Dry eye issues from RA
2015 - So far only two colds including an ear infection, more lymphedema, and some evil dental work.

But we are still happily married and we are still speaking to each other.. My husband does put up with me and all my ailments.

Having fun!!!

I am sorry for not blogging for a few days but I am visiting the town of Saint Peter, MN for a friend's wedding this afternoon.

I flew out from Boston on an uneventful flight (and they didn't lose my luggage) on Thursday. Since then we have been eating and drinking, as well as getting our nails done and other girly stuff. This morning is the big hair adventure where I will hang out and chat - my hair is pretty short these days so it does not need much. Then back here for the wedding itself.

But the big news is that yesterday I met another breast cancer blogger who I only knew online. We were cyber friends but now we met in real life, a rare occurrence in the blogosphere when people come from the four corners of the earth. So yesterday I had a drink with Teresa of the blog Spellbound by our own imperfect lives where she writes about her own breath cancer misadventures.

It is absolutely wonderful to meet other bloggers in real life. Every so often I get this opportunity and I try to grab it.

But it's time to get moving to get on with today's misadventures!! Congratulations A and J (you know who you are!) Best wishes for many years of happiness together.

Evidently we didn't get the memo

As we approach our fifth wedding anniversary, I read this article in the New York Times which says basically (its long so I will sum it up for you) that happily married people are healthier. Evidently my husband and I did not get that memo.

Although I already had one pesky little cancer diagnosis, I was relatively healthy for years before getting married. Since then I have been hospitalized several times, have had five surgeries, five back injections, cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy, radiation, sprained ankle, and degenerating back. My husband has only had one cancer diagnosis and one surgery. So evidently we missed that memo. But we are happily married. We are about to go on vacation together and plan on enjoy ourselves greatly.

This weekend we are attempting to break out of our rut of being boring married old farts. Last night we went to a dinner dance (and are bummed we did not win any of the raffles or door prizes) and stayed out late. Today, we are going for a morning walk and then to the Red Sox game. I am very excited even though I haven't been following the team much this year. I am a fan and have been for years, I used to go to games fairly regularly but that was probably 20 years ago. But first we will go for a morning walk since it is not raining. And attempt to eat healthy food before base ball park fare this afternoon. But we will be happily married old farts who pretend to be healthy once again.