My day can only go up from here

The cat has started my day off on the wrong foot. He has left us, not one, not two, but three little hairball gifties around the house. Including one on my back pack in my closet that I am trying to take with me for the weekend. How thoughtful of him!!! NOT! Now he is just sitting pathetically next to me waiting for me to go downstairs and stir up the food in his dish! He will have to be VERY patient.

I also have a big list of things to do before we leave including calling back the dermatologist to see if they have anything sooner than two and 1/2 weeks from now. I was supposed to go back next week about my lovely rash and they called yesterday to post pone it. In addition, I have to do some work, finish packing, put away laundry, water plants, go to the bank, and I can't remember the rest because I have chemo brain and I haven't had enough coffee yet.

Do you think I overuse the chemo brain excuse? I certainly don't so you are just going to have to get over it.

Anyway, we are off for the weekend. We are going to a place that does not have internet access or reliable cell phone coverage. In other words, we will be out of touch. (Not that you couldn't say that sometimes we are mentally out of touch but this weekend we will physically be out of touch as well.) We hope to go hiking. In other words, I will carry a little bitty pack with water and granola bars. Walter will carry everything else for me. I guess I can struggle through that. We also plan to resume our mini-golf battles. He claims I am crabby when I lose! Ha! I now have to whip his butt at mini-golf to show him! Ha!

The real hope is that I don't have jury duty Monday so we can stay up north an extra day. I am on call for jury duty at the federal court house and have to call after 5 pm today to find out for sure. It actually would be kind of neat to go to the federal court house and see how that works. I have been called for jury duty before but only at the county court house. However, they do make it complicated - two forms of photo ID and no cell phones. They would probably confiscate my miniature swiss army knife on my key chain. Well that's Monday so I am not going to worry about it until then.

Have a nice weekend!

To some extent, I have been enjoying my time by myself. The cat is hanging out with me all the time, looking for Walter. I have been doing what I want. First of all, when Walter left I shut off the alarm clock. I mean why should it go off for his work schedule when he isn't here? I get to wake up whenever I want. Its not that I sleep really late but I do work from home in the morning and take my morning walk. As long as I am up by 730 or so I am fine. So no alarm clock.

Next I have been making all the foods he would never touch with a ten foot pole. Eggplant is my favorite vegetable. He hates it. I never get to make it. I made myself a little eggplant parmesan the other day. Today I get the second half of it for lunch. It is quite yummy and I don't have to share it. I also made a beet salad Tuesday. He hates beets. Well, the more for me. It was very good as well.

I have also been training the cat to sleep on Walter's side of the bed. This is more difficult than you think. When was the last time anyone could train a cat to do much of anything? (These engineers attempted to use their cats for to test certain theories but the cats didn't really cooperate. http://www.komando.com/videos/4-16.asp If you have a few minutes to waste, I recommend watching it.)

I have also been gardening and taking more garden pictures. When Walter is around, I get a hard time about this. 'Do you have to stop and look at your plants every day?' The answer is yes I do. I also took the opportunity to plant more seeds and to eradicate some plants from my garden for an upcoming plant swap. An unwanted plant is a weed. I have some that are relics from the previous owner's lame gardening attempts. They keep returning and are not what I want where I want it to be. Hence the weed status.

On the downside to not having a spouse around, there is no one to carry all the laundry up from the basement. This is something I really shouldn't do and I guess it will have to sit there until he comes home tonight. (I did solve the flooding problem by removing the lint trap altogether. We may have lint in the drains but we don't have a wet basement floor.) There is also no one to whine to about my ongoing medical complaints. I can whine to the cat about my rash and my gallstone but he doesn't really care.

Now he is due back tonight so I need to do all the things I said I would do before he left. Like pack to go away for the weekend. Organize what we need to take with us. That's okay. I have all day. Since I can't whine to the cat, I will say my rash is mostly gone but still there. My gallstone seems to be relatively happy with my current eating status so I have no plans to change back to a fat freer existence at this time. Less than a week till my next doctor appointment - my how time flies! (I did successfully tape my show last night - one gold star for me!)

Time for the weekly technology challenge

Can you guess how many tries it will take me to tape Top Chef this week? Last week, I believe it took four tries. It is on at 10pm tonight so it is very doubtful I will stay up that late. But am I capable of using the VCR? I am feeling very technically advanced today as yesterday I used the oven and remembered to turn it off when done. This is another chronic problem I have where I usually get reminded by Walter that I need to turn it off when done. I think he checks it for me every night.

I also successfully made coffee this morning (although I think we need new milk - it has that 'borderline' taste). I make coffee about once a year now. Walter makes it every night before we go to bed and the timer is set to go off with the alarm clock. Then he brings me a cup of coffee to drink in bed while he showers and gets ready. My life is so tough some times.

The real question is will my brain put in an appearance for the day or just flit in and out sporadically? I do need to do some work at home and then go to work for a few hours. I also need to continue doing laundry. Once again, we had a little flood. Its time to get more drastic and solve the problem - clean the lint trap.... Would it be very bad of me to take the lint trap off and just leave it to be cleaned by someone else???? Maybe I will, maybe I wont. Maybe I can train the cat.

Message to my little chemo brain:

WAKE UP!!! Yesterday, in an uncontrollable desire to be a nice person and a good wife, I drove Walter to the airport. On the way, there was a traffic report that the Sumner tunnel was down to one lane. Well, that's so useful to know if you can't remember which tunnel goes in which direction to and from the airport. (Sort of like remembering is it standard time now or day lights savings time? Who knows? As far as I am concerned, there is only current time and the other time which makes me change lots of clocks and watches, except for the ones I leave that are only correct for half each year.) Anyway, then there was a very educational overhead sign that informed us that we were about to take the Callahan tunnel to the airport. That meant in leaving I would need to take the somewhat clogged up Sumner tunnel. Unless I went the more deviant route home through the new Ted Williams tunnel which puts you on a different highway.

So I dropped Walter off and started off on my adventure. Because my little chemo brain couldn't handle driving and reading overhead signs, I missed the exit for the Sumner tunnel anyway and ended up at the Ted Williams Tunnel - where the toll was $3.50!!! Which puts you on the turnpike where they charged me another toll to get off. If I had read the signs at the airport, I might have actually made a real decision instead of just following the road....

Then I got back to work and got all kinds of things mixed up as the result of my stressful drive. Chemo brain in action. I probably should not try walking and chewing gum at the same time yet. I don't think I am ready for it.

After work I was so tired, I had to sit around for half an hour. A friend was coming over for a walk after work. She was concerned she was late. I was concerned I was too tired to walk. However we did walk (wearing many layers of clothes as it was 46 degress with at 20 mph wind and its the middle of May). And we ate out. I had a Greek salad with half a sandwich. I ate salad dressing, feta cheese and olives for the first time in about three weeks. I survived. My gallstone doesn't appear to hate me. Then I talked on the phone to another friend who is going to Ghana for two weeks. I am very jealous. Our vacation was canceled and she gets to go to Ghana. Some things just aren't fair. This year I will go to Minnesota.

Today's big project is to water all the plants and seeds I planted this weekend. The weather forecasted all day rain Monday into Tuesday. So when I planted everything, I watered it a little and assumed that the rain would take care of real watering. So much for that idea. When I grow up I want to be a weather person so I can be wrong all the time and still get paid for it!

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!

I get it! I can't carry heavy things with my left hand. This includes full watering cans, heavy potted plants, bricks, big bags of dirt and fertilizer, and patio furniture. I GET IT! Now my arm is sore. This is not a good thing. It may mean lymphedema which is a permanent problem. I think I get to call the doctor on this one. WAH!!!! I do have an appointment to see him next week so I may wait and see what happens but grrrr!!!!

As you can guess, I did get to garden again yesterday. We went to another gardening center and I got some more annuals to plant, and a couple of perennials, and a big bag of potting soil to mix with compost for the containers. We also went and picked up some bricks to make borders for the gardens. I carried a single brick in each hand. Walter carried big bins of bricks. He isn't sore. I am. (Not fair.) I also ended up getting completely tired out. By 3 pm I was ready for a nap so I lay down in bed and guess what was on TV - the same episode of the same show I had tried to tape four times in a row. Because of my wonderful chemo brain, I could watch it a second time and enjoy it.

Today I have to get my act together early. I have a 9 am phone call, followed by work at home, then off to work, then back home to drive Walter to the subway to get to the airport, then back to work, and then back home to meet a friend to go for a walk and have dinner. I think I am tired just thinking about all that. But being tired does make me sleep well.

Technology can be beyond me

Now I don't consider myself a geek, nor do I consider myself a technoweinie, but somewhere in the middle. However I have had considerable technical issues this week with the VCR. I wanted to tape a show that was on at 10pm on Wednesday night. It didn't work. I taped nothing. I then tried again Thursday night. When I went to watch it, I found I had taped ALL BUT THE LAST 5 MINUTES! So I tried taping again yesterday afternoon and found that I had read the tv listings wrong and was taping the wrong show AGAIN. Finally, I taped it last evening but managed to actually watch the last ten minutes when it was one to find out the ending. If this is what chemo brain does to my technical abilities I am doomed.

Today I am attempting to use the Belgian waffle maker. The point is not to burn them. I should be able to handle that. I hope. Its early still.

Also today I have a big list of stuff I need to do. Yesterday I planted all my annuals but today want to get some more and plant them. Its supposed to be rainy for the next few days so I want to get a jump on them and take advantage of the rain.

I am happy to report that after all my numerous surgeries and 'treatments' I can still garden. I was concerned because I can't carry heavy things with my left hand. Which also means no digging big holes with big shovels that take two hands. However, I could dig lots of little holes and water them. I had a nice time.

I have decided I can't continue to live a fat free existence. Fat free is boring. Sure my gallstone treats me better but where is the quality of life. Why can't I have little bits of fat? So I am. Yesterday I made chicken parmigiana but did not put mozzarella in it. I only put some Romano/Parmesan in the bread crumbs on the chicken. I also had a brownie. It was approximately 1/2" x 1 1/2" x 1". It was not large but it was yummy. I feel okay and my gallstone isn't protesting but I also feel like I got to enjoy a meal for the first time in a while. Belgian waffles this morning contained two eggs but instead of oil I used applesauce (you can usually substitute this in baking). However I wont jump on the ice cream and cheese bandwagon again anytime soon. I'll see what happens in the next few weeks and go from there.

We must ask why sometimes

We really must ask why sometimes. Why do some people feel the need to veer to the right before making a left turn or veering to the left before making a right turn? I admit that sometimes this is necessary. But not on big, wide American streets. I used to travel to the UK a lot on business and there was a little pub in West Wycombe, the George and Dragon to be precise. The entrance to their carpark (parking lot) was through an early 18th century stone entry which was designed for horses and not cars. There you have to pull over to the right (when driving on the left side of the road) to make the turn into the entry. I did it successfully (no scratches on the rental) but that is the only place I know of where it is really necessary to veer right to turn left. Anyway, we must ask why the morons of the world insist on doing so on a regular basis.

Why won't my stupid rash go away even though I have been putting this stupid prescription strength steroidal cream on it for weeks????? Its very annoying.

Why also won't I lose weight while I am on this fat free diet. My weight is holding steady even though I am depriving myself of all the things I like to eat!!! Grr!

Another thing we must ask why, is why does the cat insist on being psycho kitty every day, while I am in the shower? I will hear him thundering up and down the stairs and sliding along the halls. Why does he do this when I am showering? It seems that is the only time of day now that he shows his little psycho side.

We also must ask why is what were these people thinking when they filmed their video and how did they get their cats to cooperate? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVjzd320gew&feature=email I showed it to Walter and also stated that we cannot get a treadmill just so he can annoy the cat.

Okay, enough inquiring minds for the day. But sometimes it is important to stop and ask questions about life. Like why do some of us get gallstones that annoy us and others dont!