Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Change

I don't like change. I like my little 'ruts' that keep me doing the same thing over and over again. And I'm usually okay with it.

However, my health requires me to make changes, regularly. I look back on my life in recent years and can recall many things I used to do, for decades, but do not any more because I can't.

For example, if you have read my blog for a while, you may note that I used to go for a daily walk. Every day, rain or shine, I would go out for a walk, usually a fairly substantial walk for an hour. I really enjoyed it. Now the idea of an hour walk has me cringing inside. I can't. Its a combination of all my issues which make it impossible for me to even think about more than a 20 minute walk.

I also used to do more than go for long walks, I would climb mountains, go skiing, ice skate, bike ride, and more. I was an outdoor person. Now I am more of an indoor person. I have watched so many Lifetime movies that I know the plots of some of them by heart. (My husband believes these will rot my brain but I beg to differ on that.) After being out and about for a bit, I need to come home and sit or lie down and relax. Then I turn on the TV or read a book or knit.

As I age*, I am learning to accept change more. Well, okay, sometimes I struggle with change and sometimes I make changes intentionally. Yes I did change my PCP but I think that's enough change for a while.

Unfortunately my health may force more changes that I am not ready to make. Damn.

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*I am not that old. I am still 37. And this article which talks about mental sharpness in older people - defined as over 50 - made me feel old!

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