In The Grand Scheme Of Things

Yesterday I was disappointed about my weight. Today I am in so much pain, I really do not care how much I weigh. I want the pain to go away. It will take some time.

I had too much fun being a normal person yesterday. I went shopping - consignment store, yarn store, fish market, and grocery store. Then I came home and lay down for an hour and then I made dinner which meant I stood for another hour. After dinner, my brother had to help me upstairs because I was in so much pain. Now after almost 12 hours in bed, my back is better but not much. I will spend a lot of time lying down today. DAMN! I think I would feel better if I could get to the beach....

In the grand scheme of things, being fat is not an overwhelming problem in my life. I was just reading on FB that a friend is now celebrating two years of being cancer free because she had a recurrence. That is more of a problem than being fat. If you think about it: would you rather be fat and healthish or skinny and have cancer? Not a hard decision.

Losing weight would help me be healthier in some ways. Less body weight equals lower blood pressure, healthier organs, yada, yada, yada. But I can't get up and move more to do that. I will try to be healthier. But I have to stop being in pain first.

And before you ask, I have been taking my pain meds - a combination of prescription and OTC and I am on a weekly pain patch. This is not an unusual occurrence in my life so I have what I need to help stop the pain. If I went to my doctor they would tell me I was doing all I can.