Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The incurable ailment
Yes there is more than one incurable ailment. Cancer has no cure, but neither does optimism. I try to be optimistic. Really, (stop snickering at me) I am an optimist. I admit when diagnosed with cancer it slipped for a time. But a therapist and a support group and taking some time to cope has returned me to my optimistic state.
(My friends who are reading this should stop snickering, saying 'yeah, right' and pay attention here.) Last week while on a road trip/vacation with my husband he was muttering about the economy once again, convinced that we are going to financial hell in a hand basket. I informed him that he was a complete pessimist - which he denied and blamed the politicians. I responded by saying he is a half-empty guy and I am more of a half-full girl. He muttered in response.
Then I started thinking - which we all know is a bad thing but that is what happens when you drive a car for four hours and are trying to pretend your back isn't hurting while your husband reads his book. I decided that these days I am fairly optimistic.
Yes my health is what we can define as 'less than stellar' to put it mildly but I am still here. I may not be working to my full potential but I am enjoying my work/life balance and don't feel I'll be out on the street at retirement - and perhaps the house will be paid off by then. My husband and I are happy. The cat has returned from his vacation and actually seems to have missed us. Financially we are doing okay (but if you have a spare million or two that you wouldn't miss you can feel free to send it my way).
My health seems to be my big issue but I haven't had a doctor appointment for a couple weeks and don't have one for another few weeks. I am trying to get into see my back pain doctor but that doesn't seem to be a reality so it will be the end of the month before that happens. September will bring a round of doctors - oncologists, knee doctor, dermatologist, and I can't remember what else. And I am still being an optimist. Maybe because I have already heard the worst I can from a doctor (cancer, incurable back pain, etc) and because I am on antidepressants (which could be contributing).
However I am happy to be considered an optimist at this point. Life gave me lemons for a while and I made some lemonade (and considered adding vodka for a while). Optimism is underrated and, fortunately, incurable.