Breathing causes cancer

I knew it would come to this. Everything has been researched to the nth degree, millions of researchers have been employed, everything has been dissected, ressected and digested. We have been told that no salt, no wine, no chocolate, lots of vegetables, lots of fruit, get exercise, no we were wrong red wine only, dark chocolate only - and only in moderation (whatever that means), not those fruits but blueberries and other things you have never heard of. We have tried to decipher diets, pyramids, and scams.

But now they tell us. Breathing causes cancer. Actually its not the actually breathing that causes caner but what we breath - air pollution - which causes cancer.

So while this is the active theory, we all need to move out to the wilderness and set up individual homes with solar power (because coal and wood smoke cause air pollution), grow our own fruits and vegetables (but only the right kinds). And grow them organically.

In the meantime, practice holding your breath so you breathe as little as possible to reduce your risk of getting cancer from air pollution. Once you turn blue, more research will be done to figure out how you can avoid inhaling more air pollution.