Monday, October 21, 2013

I am confused

I admit to being confused. I have rheumatoid arthritis. I am on injected methotrexate. Am I supposed to be feeling better? Because I am not. I keep forgetting to ask my rheumatologist about this.

I know I have other pain causing ailments - degenerating disks in my back cause pain in my lower back. I know all about these pains. If I bend over to pick things up, my back reminds me I should not - never mind that you are supposed to squat and lift with your knees. But that is one set of pains.

Then I have the fibromyalgia induced pains. Those are the ones which are not back pains or rheumatoid pains. They appear as things like bone deep pain in my arms or elecgtrical pains across my lower back.

And I have osteoarthritis pains. That is when my  knees crunch when I bend them. I have Snap, Crackle, and Pop and their extended family reunion living in my left knee. And my right knee and a few other assorted places.

But I know I have RA pain in places that never really feel better. This includes my hands where my knuckles always feel inflamed and swollen. My wrists, my shoulders, my ankles, and my feet. And other places that are symmetrical. RA pains are easier to pin point as they are symmetrical. I am on medication and anti-inflammatories but they are always there.

If I judge my health based on the television commercials where people are moving about freely while they are on medication for their RA. I clearly not atfor a commercial any time soon.

But my real question is am I supposed to not have pain from my RA? Or is the treatment not working or am I living in a constant flare? And combined with fibro fog and fatigue, I am a walking disaster.

I think I need to write myself some notes and bring them with me to my next rheumatologist visit in January. Crap. That's a long time from now.

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