Sunday, October 6, 2013

Do I have to be an adult all the time?

Do you remember as a child when there was a monster in the closet? You could close your eyes very tightly and hide under the blankets and it would go away.

Wouldn't it be nice if it worked as an adult. Sometimes I wish I could just walk away from it all - like a vacation from all my health issues. The problem with health issues is they go on vacation with you. How annoying.

Sometimes I wish i could be a child and climb a tree, hanging up side down. Or run and jump into the pool - the jumping is the hard part. (Also being a chicken about cold water doesn't help.)  Or being double dared to ride your bike down the hill, no hands. Or chasing the boys out of the no boys allowed club (we had one).

But I digress. I need a vacation from ailments too. Not just a tropical beach. But a healthy body on a tropical beach. Or a hike in the mountains where I can go a decent distance, and even carry a pack. Skip that, I'll have a sherpa to carry the heavy stuff but I still want to walk.

As part of having the ailments, they follow you everywhere. They lurk in the background in that little corner of your brain saying 'whats that next test or visit going to show'? Its really hard to turn that part of your brain off. And most of them aren't going away, ever.

So the monster lives in the closet in your brain that you can squish your eyes shut and hide under the covers from it. Damn.

I don't want to be an adult all the time. It takes all the fun out of everything. Maybe I need a second childhood.

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