Monday, April 18, 2011

Blogging my way through cancer or blogging my way through life?

I started blogging nearly 4 years and over 1400 posts ago with the express purpose of using my blog to keep friends and family updated on my 'oh-so-much fun' with cancer. Then I never stopped. Was I supposed to stop? I'm not sure.

Some people who start a blog to chronicle their 'oh-so-much-fun' with cancer stop blogging at some point. I think some of them move on in life and don't feel as inclined to keep blogging. Their posts start to get further and further apart. The last few are usually about going to a party or something else fun and exciting. Then nothing more. I assume they are physically and emotionally past their cancer and don't feel a need to blog.

Others change their blog's focus and maybe even start a new blog. Do I fit in here? Maybe. I mean I stopped writing (whining) about my cancer and now write (whine) about the rest of my health problems, new medical news, and my opinions on a variety of other topics - mostly medical.

There are people who stop blogging for another reason. Their last posts are usually written by someone else who references their obituary. This is the down side to blogging and life online coping with cancer, that there are many very sick people out there who end up on Plan B. These are the ones which are harder emotionally to follow on their last few months. You can see the downward trend, the attempts to find a new drug or treatment protocol to control their cancer for a few more weeks or months. They are horribly addictive - you keep checking their blog for updates looking for the hope they are seeking.

I have kept blogging through my medical ups and downs. Maybe if I didn't have any more medical ups and downs I would stop blogging but my body is not cooperating. I have more ailments than the average 90 year old. I am not currently being treated for cancer but am being followed by a medical oncologist every 4 months, a radiation oncologist every six months, a surgeon every year, and an endocrinologist every six months as the result of my cancers. That is six annual appointments alone. Then I also have a primary care doctor yearly, a back pain doctor every three months, an ankle surgeon every six months, and a knee surgeon for a second time in two weeks. That is eight more appointments. Add in some acupuncture, PT for a new ailment, and blood tests which are now monthly and you get the picture.

Some of these doctors I will stop seeing at some point - my ankle doctor I may see her again this summer if my ankle is not better - meaning surgery and a few more follow ups. I hope my knee gets better but I am not betting on it. I live the life that as soon as one thing gets better, another ailment shows up. And I also get the joys of PT for my knee is making my back hurt and the bursitis in my hip act up. I feel like I am as healthy as a horse on the way to the glue factory.

I do try to have a life outside of medical adventures but it can be difficult. I routinely end my day lying down with an ice pack and pain meds. But I'm still here and still blogging.

2 comments:

nancyspoint said...

Caroline,
Pretty impressive how long you've been blogging. I find blogging is how I cope, so I may be at it a while! ha.

Glad you are still at it.

az cancer center said...

Your courage is overwhelming. You are doing a great help for the other people who suffer with cancer by writing your experiences through blog. Really worth reading your posts. Stay in touch and keep posting.