A good night's sleep

Today my brain appears to be functioning at a high level. Possibly because I got lots of sleep last night. I had no caffeine after 9 am and I think that was the cure. That means I can be obnoxious and perky today (really ticks off Walter if I am too perky - but sometimes its nice to aggravate your spouse.). The cat also got a good night's sleep so he is bouncing around the house this morning. This just aggravates both of us - especially when he runs up and down the stairs one of us is trying to use...

Also, I think my digestion has recovered from the wonderful looks-like-milk-tastes-like-crap-barium solutions. It was not in full agreement with me all day yesterday but nothing dire happened. Needless to say I am glad that is over. But I get barium again in a few weeks - well I can worry about that then. I need to get through my lovely colonoscopy first next Friday. They make it most (in)convenient. You are sedated so you can't drive yourself but they don't tell you the exact time to be there until the day before. I guess you are supposed to have a chauffered limo waiting for you at all times to drop everything and drive you there and back. They are very strict about this. You have to give them the name of the person coming to pick you up when you get there or they will cancel your procedure. You can't take a taxi or a bus with out an escort. And, they will keep you there until the person shows up to take you home. (Why do I have a feeling that too many other morons in the world have tried to say, 'oh, my ride is waiting out front' and drove themselves home after sedation and then had an accident so then the lawyers got involved and they wrote up this policy...) I must note that after my little caffeine error on Monday, I have to use the word other when using the word moron for a while.

Today is another busy day. First I have to make myself STOP playing on the internet and procrastinating (again) and either go for a walk or to the gym.I am not sure it is warm enough for a walk. I might need to go to the gym where it is warm. Regardless I need to motivate. Then I go to work and then to the crisper, a bit on the early side, because then I have a follow up with my doctor to see how I have been doing on hormone therapy and to ask a few million more questions. I will be out all day again. Funny, I am supposed to be a patient and taking care of myself and I never seem to be home these days.

Today is Jan 31 (as I am sure you know). My schedule gets really crazy for the entire month of February. If I think I am busy now, the next four weeks will be much worse. Mental note to self - do your utmost to retain the majority of what is left of your sanity for the next four weeks.

Make it decaf, moron!

Yes, the moron here is me. Yesterday, I had so much fun at my upper GI series that I came home, had lunch, went for a walk and treated myself to a yummy (expensive) coffee drink from Starbucks. I had successfully weaned myself off these for quite some time but decided I deserved a treat after yesterday's ordeal. I had a grande Skinny Dolce Cinnamon Latte but I forgot the magic word - DECAF! This was at about 2 pm yesterday. I never drink caffeine after lunch - my little rule. Well I was up half the night as a result. It is the only thing I can blame. I am a moron. I shall be tired and crabby today as a result. But at least I can eat.

So yesterday, I got myself to the crisper about 830 AM and was starving. They had TWO BIG boxes of donuts. I had willpower. I sniffed deeply as I walked by them (but did not inhale) and went off to my GI series. First they took x-rays (yes regular ordinary x-rays - I haven't had those in quite sometime) - the before pictures so to speak. Then they had me lie on a table that moves and tilts and drink a cup of fizzing soda and immediately drink some thick barium (looks like milk, tastes like crap) and they had me move around (roll right, no left, no back to the right) and watch it on a camera and take a series of photos (kind of like a photo shoot but they were of my insides and I think only black and white). Then I got to drink another entire glass of the lovely thin barium (also looks like milk, tastes like crap) and they took more pictures half an hour later. Then they took more pictures with a different machine to get my small intestine as well. I got quite the work out moving around on the table but otherwise, it wasn't very exciting. By the way, barium gives everyone a case of 'white lipstick'. Not only do you drink it but you wear it as well...

The big excitement is that they called yesterday to schedule my port removal! Unfortunately it isn't until the end of February and I think I even want to call back and reschedule it for the next day. But it is finally coming out! I am happy!

Otherwise, yesterday wasn't too interesting (I am using the word interesting instead of exciting - I overuse the word exciting). A friend stopped by in the afternoon. I went to my support group too. Today, I am off for a walk and then work before crisping. My last normal schedule this week. Tomorrow and Friday I run around like a crazed person all day (not that I am crazy...) so I should enjoy my relative normality while it lasts.

I'm hungry

I can't eat this morning so of course I woke up wanting coffee and food! Grrr!!! It will be hours before I can eat anything. But they will provide me with some lovely 'beverages' of bicarbonate soda and barium to take the edge off while I am enjoying my morning. The worst will be they said I can go for my crisping before my fun test and I bet they have donuts or something !!!! Will power, will power, will power. As long as I get MY locker and My dressing room I can probably survive. One good thing is that I can park in the evil little parking lot for both and not have to move my car and the section of Lahey where I have my lovely test is right next to the crisping building. I will go outside for my walk later this afternoon, after a big lunch.

Now I don't want to start any partisanship or politics here but I am quite glad I missed the majority of the state of the union address last night. I find political speeches to be rather boring usually because you really have to think afterwards - what is he really going to do? The speech was just sucking up to certain groups and making good on campaign promises (since he talked about it, he clearly means he will try to do it but don't blame the other side from blocking him from getting his legislation through). I am not just referring to Emperor George II here but basically to most politicians in general. I do vote and pay attention to politics, I just try to avoid the big speeches.

Guess what, I am procrastinating. It is 730. I have to leave at 8. I haven't taken a shower or found a book to bring with me. The cat is feeling neglected as well. I am running late again. Also, I need to figure out what to wear. It has to be an outfit that is conducive to putting it on, and then taking it off twice to put on Dr. Seymour Butz gowns at the hospital. It will be squished into a locker twice so it must be wrinkle proof. It must also be stylish enough for my support group - sometimes just looking good improves the mood. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Now I am running really late.

The third week of crisping

Well, we progress into the third week of crisping. According to the technologist, I am nearly half way. Apparently I am not as good at math as he is. He said 12 treatments down is nearly half way, but according to my math its 1/3 of the way out of the total 33-35. From his point of view, the 12 is nearly half way through the 25 full treatments. He doesn't count the additional 8-10 boost treatments that will come after. Or they could be interspersed in the regular treatments if I start to have skin issues. Apparently the boost isn't nearly as bad on your skin as they full treatments. Well, that's his version. We will see. I get so many different versions I sometimes wonder who is telling me the right thing or if I should be paying attention to what everyone says. But then again, I am merely the patient and know nothing.

This will be a very busy week for me. I have five crisping appointments, two doctor appointments, and one GI test. In addition, I want to go to the gym or for a walk daily and try to fit in some work and some job hunting and my support group and call the library and track down my missing paperwork and straighten out the wrong benefit statements from the insurance company. I think thats it. Well, other than take care of the cat. He needs to be on the list. He gets concerned I might forget about him and follows me around EVERYWHERE. Oh, and keep Walter from being crabby.

And the best part of my week is going to be on Friday afternoon when I am going for a manicure. This will be my first manicure since September. I think my fingernails have recovered enough. I also want to find out when she thinks I can have a pedicure due to the sad state of my toenails. I think that will be many months. Manicures and pedicures are very important in the world of medical patients. You might feel like crap, look like crap, have basically no hair, but have nice nails. Its just one little bitty thing we can do to feel better. I think I will need screaming bright pink nail polish as well.

Tomorrow is the Upper Gastrointestinal Series of tests. There is no real prep on my end - just no food or drink after midnight - and I have to be there at 9 am. You get to drink bicarbonate powder and then barium while standing up. Then you lie down and they have you move into different positions to coat the insides of you with the barium and then they take x-rays at different timed intervals. Apparently it takes 2 to 3 hours. It sounds like so much fun. I can't wait. Then after I have all that excitement and haven't eaten in 12 hours, I get to go to the crisper. Then I will eat something extra yummy and fattening for lunch. (Can you say 'french fries'?)

We are definitely beginning to feel the effects of the Hollywood writers strike. We are all out of Netflix. The last one is going back today, I watched it on Saturday. I hope a new one arrives today as well. Otherwise, we might have to watch the State of the Union address. (I am not sure I can stomach that. It might give me a relapse.) I do highly recommend Netflix to anyone with a medical condition requiring them to stay home a lot. Basically at your first diagnosis, sign up for Netflix and start creating a list of movies to watch. It will help your mental state, if nothing else.

To continue my Friday adventures

I did survive both the center of the OMWAH universe a/k/a the main parking garage and the evil little parking lot on Friday. I was too lazy to walk through the hospital. Also, I decided I would have a better dining experience at the food court in the mall so I had an additional excuse. I took my daily walk through the mall.

It has been quite some time since I have been there and I was glad to see there were no significant holiday decorations up. Sometimes I think its always a holiday at a mall. I window shopped and only bought one small thing for a birthday present. I did stroll through a very high end jewelry store (that shall remain nameless) that is about to enter bankruptcy proceedings and started selling off their inventory yesterday (a good thing it wasn't on sale on Friday or I might have had to buy myself something). One question is, this jewelry store, which was busy inventorying everything and the owners left the country in questionable circumstances, has a separate smaller store for watch repair in the same mall. This watch repair store had a Now Hiring sign up. Um... who wants to apply for a job at a store that is going out of business? Not me! Anyhow, that was a nice distraction from my regular grind of going to Lahey.

Yesterday I did go to the library and returned my slightly overdue library books. However, one of these books I took with me to my doctors appointments and had stuck my receipts and notes into it while I was sitting around the hospital. Unfortunately, those receipts and notes also got returned to the library. Oops! I will call them tomorrow and see if they can be retrieved!

Today, Walter had to go into work as it is really busy. He is slightly crabby because he is working too much and not getting enough downtime. He also claims that he didn't get enough sleep because someone snored too loudly - we have to teach the cat not to snore so much! Anyhow, to help alleviate the crabbiness level, we went to our favorite local diner for breakfast. Nothing like a plate of cholesterol and fat (a/k/a an omelet with blue cheese, bacon and apples, hash browns, and toast) to start your day off on a good note. I will go for a walk later as well.

How old do you want your doctor to be?

During all these medical treatments, I have definitely met my share of doctors and other medical professionals. It is now clear to me that doctors begin practicing when they are in diapers at the young age of 20 something and keep going until they just admitted to the geriatric ward. Last summer, while enjoying a 10 hour stay in the ER, there was a young doctor who didn't have a clue. He parked in patient parking, didn't know about the rooms in the hospital, couldn't find anything, and couldn't answer questions. It was August. I think he was just out of medical school. One of the nurses and I discussed the fact that he was such a baby. I think I have clothes older than him. Needless to say, I survived that ER experience and got admitted to a nice cushy room upstairs for a few days.

Now yesterday, I met with a doctor who, shall we say, is clearly at the other end of the spectrum. One of the benefits of Lahey is you can look up your doctor on their website and find out their subspecialties, where they went to medical school, do they teach any where and what they have written. You even get to see their picture. (So if you are trying to find a doctor, you can decide how old, male/female, etc.) Its kind of cool to find out more about them. Anyhow, one of the doctors yesterday graduated from medical school in 1953. That would mean he has been practicing medicine for 55 years. I think that kind of record is commendable. According to the nurses he still works full time as well. He also was the first doctor in I am not sure how long who met with me in his office and asked a million questions and wrote everything down, then examined me, and then wrote down tons more stuff, explained what he was sending me off for and was very reassuring. As doctor visits go, it was positive and very long - 45 minutes! Of course, he gave me the standard answer (what I expected) he doesn't think there is anything wrong but here are three REALLY FUN tests for you to get through in the next six weeks and then come back and see him for the results.

These tests - the easy ones start with don't eat or drink anything after midnight the day before, then you will swallow all kinds of weird stuff and then they will take different pictures of your insides and you will be here for hours doing that. The other test is a colonoscopy. According to the doctor, I should have had one at 40 so I am overdue so there is no avoiding it. What fun! Who dreamed these up anyway??

One interesting note is that Shere-Khan loves to sleep on my right shoulder - the opposite one from all this medical stuff. He lies on the arm of the chair and on my shoulder. Sometimes he kneads his paws into me as well. I have to keep his claws trimmed to prevent gouges. (You wonder how I can draw my cat into a story about a doctor visit?) Well, yesterday the doctor was examining me and said 'what are these marks on your shoulder?' I admitted they were from my cat. He said 'don't you know about cat scratch fever?' I trimmed his claws when I got home.

So yesterday I was at Lahey from 930-1115 and I left for lunch at the mall - quality Chinese food in the food court - and then returned for the afternoon. I never did get to the gym or for a walk but I really will today. Actually they fit in my crisping appointment at 930 before my first doctor appointment. I called them at 9 am and asked if they could fit me in after my 10 am apt. They said, can you be here at 930 and we will fit you before it? I said yes (standing in the kitchen in my bathrobe making breakfast.) So I ran around like a crazed person (not that I am normally crazed) and was out the door in ten minutes and at Lahey by 930 after eating my bagel while driving.

I survived the week of crisping. I do feel somewhat sunburned but apparently that is to be expected. They don't tell you at the beginning that basically you will burn and peel and possibly blister or worse. They just sort of say you will have skin issues in a vague sort of way. Maybe they don't want to scare off the patients??? I am not sure. Its not like we want to get out of this. Well, we dont want to have to be treated, but we really just didn't want to get cancer to begin with. Anyway, this week I will be the problem patient at the crisper. Three days this week, I need to ask them to squish me in a different times to coincide with other Lahey visits to avoid a second trip. I will politely be a difficult patient. I can always eat the sweets they have lying around while I wait to be fit in.

A day at Lahey clinic

I am so excited. I can't wait. I get to go to both the main building and the little radiation building, where the crisper is. I am going to see a gastrointestinal doctor to make sure everything internal is still functioning normally. This is sort of a follow up as a result of some of the side effects from chemo. But I know really what it is: another doctor to send me off for a million tests that I get to wait around for the results of and have additional stress in my life. There is no way a gastrointestinal doctor can poke your stomach and say 'okay, you are fine, its all in your head, eat more fiber' and send you on your way. I know there will be all sorts of fun tests ensuing. I am so excited I can't wait. (NOT!)

I am also going to see about seeing a psychologist to get my head shrunken (my brain certainly has diminished capacity and if my head is smaller, perhaps it won't keep rattling around so much). The stress of this has had its ups and downs and perhaps I need to talk to someone more. Those who know me know I can definitely talk plenty and the idea of seeing someone who is paid to LISTEN to me definitely has its merits.

Anyway, the way things are scheduled I will spend several quality hours at Lahey. I will probably even get to have a fine dining experience at the cafeteria. Actually the cafeteria isn't bad but of course not as good as my own cooking. I also have a book to read. In fact it is due back at the library today and is non-renewable (but whats a little overdue fine in the middle of medical issues?) But it is supposed to be a cold day outside and I wouldn't mind skipping the gym since I did go every other day this week. Now I have a good excuse. I will also get my exercise walking around Lahey because it must be 1/2 mile from the main parking garage over to the other building where crisping takes place. I could drive around but that would mean I would have to deal with both the evil little parking lot AND the giant parking garage home of the OMWAHs all in one day and frankly I am not sure I am up for that. I will ponder this and see how time goes.

That is my excitement. It has probably been a whole three weeks since I spent more than 2 hours at Lahey in one day. I was beginning to miss the place!