Whininess

I think my last post was the epitome of whininess. I think there are times when one can be whiny and get away with it. Maybe this is one. I think it is the fear of the unknown that gets to me. How will I react to chemo, I don't know? Will it do its thing, meaning increase the chances of cancer not recurring? You really don't know. If you undergo chemo, basically you are improving your survival rate but making your self very sick in the short term. You are trying to increase the odds that it wont come back. They surgically remove what they can first. Then with chemo they try to get it out of your system. Finally with radiation they zap the original area to get rid of any remaining cells.

So by having surgery, making yourself sick, and then zapping with radiation, you are supposed to be healthier than you were before. In some sort of weird way, it does make sense. Not that it sounds like any fun.

So at 2AM, I did contemplate writing in my blog instead of staring at the ceiling. I will save that for another night.