Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Copying Lance

Since Lance can do it, I can too. I will make my full confession.

I take drugs. Yes I do. I take them on a daily basis. I have a large collection of prescription bottles obtained from a variety of sources. I succumb to peer pressure and take them regularly. I have been doing this for years.They might even be consider performance enhancing medications.

There I feel better having confessed.

Now allow me to explain.

I take drugs regularly. I take them on a strict schedule of before breakfast, after breakfast, dinner, time, and as needed for pain and crankiness.

I take drugs that come from several sources - who are all linked by computers and know what I take from each of them.

They also come from several pharmacies who aren't linked but who are all paid by the same evil insurance company which oversees their repayment.

I consider them to be performance enhancing because without them, I would not be able to move around at all, would be in constant pain, and would have no metabolism. With them I am moving faster than if I could without them.

I succumb to peer pressure from doctors, nurses, friends, family members (who are concerned about crankiness) to take my pills regularly.

But there is a difference between Lance and I - mine are all legal and have not been banned through anti doping agencies.

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