Why I don't walk

I have never and will never go on a pink walk - or one of any other color. I feel no need. I admit I contemplated it once - for a brief while. But it will never be me. Nor do I ever plan on attending an event in a pink boa, tutu, t-shirt, or covered in pink ribbons.

I like pink. I really miss my old pink Red Sox hat that I lost. Its replacement just doesn't feel right and hasn't faded correctly. I own many pink garments - but do not wear ones which spell out breast cancer or that other evil label 'survivor'. Those are good for cleaning. I do own a pinked ice cream scoop and a pinked knife - both of which are of really good quality (Kitchen Aid I believe) and are very useful so I'll keep them.

But I digress. I do not walk. These 'walks' take all the fun out of walking. I enjoy regular walks. I used to walk every day. Now I go to the gym for dilapidated people three days a week and try to walk on the other days.

These 'walks' ask participants to go on training walks with the right equipment and in groups - there is no spontaneity there of walking out the door and enjoying the fresh air and sights around you. You also have to go to meetings, get a walker 'coordinator' to help you choose a training program, a handbook, and have to fund raise - a LOT of money.

I don't need a handbook, meeting or training program to know how to walk. Its very easy. I have been doing it since I was about one year old. It involves right, left, right, left, right, left, etc or you can go left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, etc - you know what I mean. Its not complicated.

There are some short walks of three or five miles or kilometers or whatever they choose. You don't really need much training for those - maybe a new pair of sneakers, some good socks and a water bottle. If you aren't healthy you can do other things to help - fund raise, donate, sign in people, etc. But then you add in the distance of 40 or 60 miles and most people need some training. I think this takes all the fun out of walking - when you are given instructions on how far etc. A walk should be spontaneous and enjoyable.

I hear these lovely quotes in their advertisements 'I didn't think I could ever walk 40 miles but since my mother/sister/friend was strong enough to survive whatever cancer, I can do it.' And you hear about how people were inspired, elated, reborn or whatever by doing the walk. Blah, blah, blah. That doesn't do it for me.

My sister and a friend did the 40 mile walk a few years ago. I went and joined them for a half mile or so. It was a nice thing for them to do but I would never. Now that I have walked a tiny bit of a walk with them, I have decided its not a walk, its a parade. There are people on the side lines, there are cheering sections, there is music, there are bathroom stops, snack stops, and rest stops.You get to sleep in a tent in a field with thousands of other people.

I don't like being on parade with a bunch of other people who are dressed up in weird outfits. I like going to parades and will go to one either tomorrow or Monday or both. But I dislike being on parade. The participants in the real parades are not on parade, they are out to support whatever they want - not for a cause that requires a training program, handbook, and coordinator.