Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Belonging vs. loneliness

The opposite of loneliness is something along the lines of belonging. We want to belong. Humans are social animals and have a need to belong to a group in a sense. The majority of us want to be social and interact with others.

We create our lives with our friends and family around us in a cushy little nest. Then a cancer diagnosis takes us and yanks us out of our comfort zone and throws us into the world of biopsies, tests, procedures, medical misadventures, things that will make you feel a little 'pinch', oncologists, radiologists, chemotherapy side effects, radiation blistering, and all sorts of fun and games we don't understand and our friends and family can't even begin to. We no longer belong. We are cast off into the stress filled world of cancer.


Cancer and other icky medical diagnoses can be very isolating. We feel like crap. We are overwhelmed with medical stuff. No one understands. We are lost adrift in our little worlds with out support.

We then seek to belong again. That is where we find support groups, online message boards, little groups on Facebook, and learn to belong again with people who understand all these yucky things that make up a cancer diagnosis. We need to find a new nest to support us and our medical ups and downs. We learn from each other and regain ourselves. We may be different but we are still here - and mentally sane (or mostly). (The sanity part can be questionable but we do try.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So true Caroline, I do feel I have belonged in the cancer club, with my cancerous friends, but now I have outgrown the need to be around cancer 24/7 too many reminders....

I don't want cancer to consume me and although I will never be entirely free of the LE, drugs, SEs and appointments I choose to focus on the windscreen ahead and not look at cancer - that is in my rear view mirror.

The old 'me' needs to live again.....she is in there somewhere!