Trying my patience

I am trying to be patient. I was told at my neck ultrasound on Friday that my doctor would have the results in two or three days so I should hear sometime this week. Well, its Tuesday. How long can I wait before calling for the results? Hmmm.... I should wait until Friday to call. Actually, I should wait until they send me the results but I am not always so good at being the patient patient so I will attempt to wait longer. They are very nice to you when you call and ask for the results of a test that is used to diagnose cancer - they usually get you the results pretty quickly.

In the meantime, I do things to drive myself crazy. I did research online. I am not trying to become a doctor or anything. Its a secret plot I have against myself to drive myself crazy. All it takes is a tiny bit of scanxiety and a computer with internet access and I am doomed. There is even a term now called 'cyberchondria'. The fascinating little tidbit I discovered this morning is that thyroid cancer is slow growing and can take more than 10 years to become detectable. Well, 28 is more than 10 so I consider myself stressed - until I get the results from my doctor.

Today I am off to my therapist and then to work at home because it will snow and I no longer consider myself required to drive to work in a snowstorm. (Or work with idiots but that's another story.) I did go to work yesterday morning to avoid a commute today. As I was driving home, I was struck by home much I enjoy working with people who don't let their personal issues take over the workplace and are just plain nice. My new goal is to find a replacement job for the other job I left which meets the requirement of nice coworkers.

Anyway, I can no longer procrastinate in bed but need to motivate to get my act together and get out of here on time this morning. I will discuss my patience, or lack of it, with my therapist and develop a plan for dealing with waiting. This is a key skill of cancer people and one I still am not very good at. I am not sure any cancer patients are good at it either.