Saturday, January 15, 2011

Living in the 'all cancer all the time life'

I am a person living with cancer. But cancer does not run my life. I often do normal things - go to the grocery store, pay bills, go to work, talk to my friends, go on vacation, etc. Cancer people are real people. We talk about cancer with each other but we don't go up to people and say 'hi I have cancer, do you?'.

Yesterday I volunteered to help at a trade show by staffing a booth for a cancer related organization to help raise money for them. People came up and asked about our mission and talked about their experiences with cancer. They had it. Their wife just died from it. Their wife had it but did not die from cancer but from something else. Their sister, mother, father, cousin, granddaughter, etc., etc., had cancer.

When I was driving home, I felt emotionally drained. I felt I had spent a day in the all cancer all the time life. All I did was talk about cancer, my experiences, and their experiences. It was very difficult. When I got home I was emotionally and physically exhausted - even though I didn't even make it through a whole day.

When you are in cancer treatment, you still don't only talk cancer all the time. You rush to get to the doctor in time and hope you can find a (damn) parking space. You have to go to the grocery store, pay bills, etc.

But yesterday wasn't a throw back to being in treatment. It was different. I was in a special club of cancer people and wasn't sure I could take being there. I may need a few days to digest this one.

1 comment:

cyn said...

I often wonder how our doctors and nurses deal with it.