Saturday, May 30, 2015

Will I be what is expected?

Later today I am getting together with some old friends, from high school. One of them I got together with a couple of months ago, the others I haven't seen in decades. Will I be what they expect? I have no idea.

In recent years, I have skipped telling people about my cancer crap right away. I just say I have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia - and some people do not understand those implications.

I have found that I skip telling people about cancer until I know them better. There is no reason to. And sometimes they run away. A few years ago I reconnected with an old friend and she wanted to get together until I said 'breast cancer'. And I never heard from her again.

My health has changed me in many ways. Internally both physically and emotionally, externally just physically only. I have lots of physical limitations - no twisting, lifting, carrying, shoveling, raking, vacuuming, biking, skiing, and lots of other things. I have some emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. Who wouldn't with my health? I have nothing to be depressed or anxious about? Hahahahahahahahaha.

Anyway, what will they expect me to look like and be? I have no idea. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Its been a long time since we used to go shopping at the mall on Friday nights to check out guys.


Kathryn said...

I struggle with this too, but wishing you a great time with your friends!

Beth Gainer said...

I hope your get-together went well. I totally get the not telling people about cancer right away. I've been hurt by friends abandoning me when I revealed that I had this disease. I'm reluctant to share this with new friends.

Great post!

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